Lupica Sells Out, Stars In Commercial!

Look how this little bitch cashes in on his midgetry!



Like a circle of dopey bitches would be fighting over this little twerp.

Age Topic Getting Fucking Old!

In Lupidwarf's latest "Shooting From The Lip" article, MiniMike once again touches on the age of the Yankees, even though the Mets clearly have the older team.

This week, much like last season, Mike singles out the Yankee outfield, and how "old" they are, referring to them as "an outfield that sometimes looks older than disco."

Mike, you dumb confused little bitch. I guess we'll have to break out the stats again.

METS OUTFIELDERS

Moises Alou - 41 years old
Carlos Beltran - 30 years old
Ryan Church - 29 years old

AVERAGE AGE =33.3

YANKEES OUTFIELDERS

Hideki Matsui - 33 years old
Melky Cabrera - 23 years old
Bobby Abreu - 34 years old
Johnny Damon - 34 years old

AVERAGE AGE = 31

Any time you want to start knocking the Mets, please let us know.

Asshole.

Research By Fellow Lupica Hater Makes The Midget Look Like A Big Dick!

I got this email from fellow Lupica Hater Jeffrey R., who uses facts to make Lupica look like a dick.

Facts, Lupica - you should try them sometime.

Here's the email:

Just thought you'd wanna know this since Lupica sees fit to hammer the Yankees about the age of their team.

As seen in Adam Rubin's article in the Daily News today (March 7th) titled "Confident his Mets have healing power"…

Rubin cites the fact that the Mets are, in fact, the oldest team in ALL OF BASEBALL by "average age of players".

Evidently, the list is as follows:

Mets - 29.79
Red Sox - 29.75
Astros - 29.56
Tigers - 29.45

Furthermore, a simple look at ESPN.com provides the following:

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/stats/rosters , which lists the ten oldest as follows:

Red Sox - 30.01
Astros - 29.7
Mets - 29.5
Cards - 29.5
Phillies - 29.3
Tigers - 29.2
Dodgers - 29.2
Brewers - 29.1
Reds - 28.9
Blue Jays -28.7
And in 11th place…. The New York Yankees at 28.7.

So it's not like these teams are ranked 1 and 2 here. The Mets, according to Rubin are NUMBER FUCKING ONE ON THE LIST… and according to ESPN, rank 3rd.

The Yankees weren't listed by Rubin (although he only listed the top 4) and are FUCKING ELEVENTH on ESPN…. Which is probably why Rubin didn't list them… because THEY'RE NOT EVEN IN THE TOP FUCKING TEN!!!

If I were a betting man, I'd guess that the difference between Rubin's number and ESPN's is that ESPN probably used El Duque's listed age of 41.

Rubin, being a New Yorker and probably more familiar with Orlando
Hernandez probably cut him in half and counted the rings, coming out with the
logical conclusion that El Duque is actually 7,422 years old.

Or maybe Rubin also counted El Duque's bunion as a member of the team and the factored in that it's at least 50 years old.

Thought you'd like this information.

Yes, Jeffrey, we love the info.

Lupica has the fucking nerve to talk about the age of the Yankees, while the Mets are the top of the senior citizen list!

Are you gonna compare the average ages of Mets players to Yankees players, like you did last year during Spring Training? You douche bag midget fuck?

I didn't think so. What a short loser.

One Year Later, Mike Is Still Clueless

About a year ago, Lupica checked in with his annual pre-season “The Yankees Are Too Old!” article, comparing the average ages of the Mets and Yankees.

As usual, Lupica put his special anti-Yankee spin on the article, making the Yankees out to be senior citizens.

The Mets’ younger average age really helped out the Mets down the stretch last season, right Mike?

Apparently, Mike hasn’t learned anything from last year. This is the nonsense we got from him today...

“The Yankees better start getting younger with pitching, because it's sure not happening with the team they put on the field every day.”

The Yankees retained all of their position players, and they are all a year older.

Not a decade older.

How did this already old team do last season?

And how did the spring chickens over in Queens make out?

Let's compare!

2007 Stats

Strapping Young Mets

Offense

Batting Average - 2nd (NL)
Hits - 5th (NL)
RBI's - 5th (NL)
Home Runs - 5th (NL)
SLG - 7th (NL)
OPS - 5th (NL)
Runs - 4th (NL)

Defense

Errors - 8th Best (NL)
Fielding Percentage - T6 (NL)

Crusty Old Yankees

Offense

Batting Average - 1st (MLB)
Hits - 1st (MLB)
RBI's - 1st (MLB)
Home Runs - 1st (AL)
SLG - 1st (MLB)
OPS - 1st (MLB)
Runs - 1st (MLB)

Defense
Errors - 3rd Best (AL)
Fielding Percentage - T3 (AL)

Wow! Those crusty old position players on the Yankees owned those younger Mets in batting and fielding!

Once again Mike, your stupid ass comments are just as worthless as ever.