Shooting Myself in the Face...

First and foremost, I want to say that I'm surprised at the topic of this week's "Shooting from the Lip." There's a new Clemens scandal, and we all know about Lupica's "Roger" fascination. But instead, he decides to write about the prices at Yankee Stadium. Screw the long intro, here we go.


There is a very good reason why most Yankee fans don't care how much their team spends on baseball players.

26 World Championships? 39 Pennants? 47 Playoff Appearances? George Steinbrenner winning the National Football Foundation's Gold Fucking Medal? Come on, you thought I wasn't going to reference that every chance I got?

One of the best reasons is that their team keeps asking them - at least the most well-heeled of them - to spend more and more to help pay the freight.

Umm... what? We don't care how much our team spends on players because the team asks us to pay the freight? This makes no fucking sense. These two sentences mean: I don't care how much you spend on players... as long as I'm the one actually paying for it!!! Please, if anybody understands the correlation Lupica's trying to make... e-mail me and explain it. I'm fucking lost. Seriously. And it's upsetting me.

There is a guy I know who has tickets behind the Yankee dugout, has had them for awhile.

Come on Mike, tell us who he is. Give us a name, I dare you for two reasons. (1) I think you're full of shit. I don't think you know anybody who goes to Yankee games. I think you googled some prices so you could bitch about them. (2) If you do, in fact, have a 'friend' sitting behind the plate at Yankee games, I want to know his identity so we can have security ban him from the building. He's fucking up our karma.

Lupica writes a bunch more, detailing the cost increases of Yankee premier ticket plans... but really, what's the fucking point of all this?

Are you telling me that the Mets didn't raise prices after inking Santana to $151M? And they're not going to raise them even more when they move into Shiti Field next year? The Mets have been a laughing stock in baseball for longer than they've been respectable, they're coming off the biggest collapse in late-September history, and they still raised prices.

Part of what you're paying for at Yankee Stadium, is the brand. The New York Yankees are the Calvin Klein Versace Tommy Hilfiger Prada Jackie Chan Marlon Brando D&G of baseball.

The Mets are something like this.

Point is, Lupica meanders on about the prices of seats around the new Yankee Stadium for a page and a half... and then drops this nugget again.

You wonder why Yankee fans don't care what Johan Santana or anybody else on the field costs?
The seats closest to the field are as good place to start as any.

So again, Lupica's entire point is: Yankee fans don't care how much players cost... because the more money the Yankees spend on players, the more expensive tickets will get. You nailed it on the head Mike. I hope the Yankees sign Darren Erstad to a 80 year, $6.4 Trillion dollar contract! Then I can spend the GNP of Liechtenstein on bleacher seats! Hooray!!!

***

Rusty Hardin, the Isiah of lawyers, still wants what's happening to Roger Clemens to be the media's fault and not his fault.

You know, Clemens isn't the only Roger that Lupica is obsessed with. For the record though, how is it Rusty Hardin's fault that Clemens did steroids and boffed a 15-year old girl? Are you trying to tell me that this is the sort of legal advice that Rusty Hardin gives?

Clemens: I'm totally going to get sued Rusty. I just hit a parked car. What should I do?

Rusty: Well Roger, if I were you, I'd do some steroids and boff a 15-year old girl.

Clemens: How's that going to help with me getting sued for hitting a parked car?

Rusty: How the hell should I know. I just want to do steroids and boff 15-year old girls! Giggity-giggity-goo!!! Alllllright!!!

The hot romance between Phil Hughes and a whole bunch of Yankee fans has cooled at a record pace, even for the big bad city.

Yeah, I know, right? The fucking nerve of that scumbag Phil Hughes to have a shitty April and break a rib! Phil Hughes is a selfish douchebag! And to think, just two weeks ago I got slapped with a restraining order for masterbating outside his apartment because I was so in love with him!!

You know what Billy Wagner did when he spoke up about Oliver Perez the other day?

Created a gigantic clubhouse rift? Fucked up team chemistry? Earned the nickname, "The White Gary Sheffield"? Made the author of this page cry?

He spoke for pretty much all Mets fans.

Fuck the heck!?

Next week The Today Show is going to do a week-long series called, "Where in the world is Robinson Cano?"

He's in Liechtenstein with Carlos Beltran! As reader, Mark P. was kind enough to point out, Cano has only 3 hits less than Beltran (and the same number of homers). Except that Beltran earns enough money to sit in the premium seats at the New Yankee Stadium! Carlos Delgado's really tearing it up lately too.

Maybe it's April, and Cano is traditionally a slow starter. Or maybe he's hiding in a cave in Uzbekistan.

Stop The Presses!!! Yankee Employees Expected To Do Their Job!!!

So here we are, a week or so after pitchers and catchers showed up for Spring Training, a month or so away from Opening Day, the last season ever for Yankee Stadium, and even that shit hole Shea Stadium, everyone is excited for the season, and what do we get from Lupica?

More fucking whiny bullshit.

What is the problem with this miserable little troll?

Is he upset because Reyes won’t swallow?

Is he sad that Johan isn’t into foreplay?

Am I bringing his wife home too late on the weekends?

Mike, lighten up – your undersized heart is gonna give up on your undersized body with all that misery.

This week, Mike cries about Hank, and how he is so much like his father (you know, always wanting to get the best players on his team, always wanting to win, etc…what a jerk!).

We already know that Hank Steinbrenner has inherited the spending gene from his father.

Yes, because he paid $151 million for Johan Santana…oh wait, that was the Mets.

Perhaps the strongest pull of heredity involves the area that was always George Steinbrenner's strong suit, at least back in the day:

Second-guessing his Baseball People.

Because when one of your employees fucks up, they shouldn’t be held accountable. Right Mike?

If you don't believe that, ask Brian Cashman sometime how often he heard the name "David Ortiz" after the Red Sox got him from the Twins and he turned into a Boston baseball legend known as "Papi."

George wanted Ortiz, Cashman wanted Giambi. Cashman, the GM, got who he wanted, and everyone knows how that deal turned out.

Who should be held responsible Mike? Fucking numb nuts.

So if Santana, another ex-Twin, the one the Mets finally got for a bag of balls,

A $151 million bag of balls…

pitches the Mets to the World Series this season,

Yes, the Mets plan on having Johan start every game of the season…and post-season.

pitches them all the way to the Canyon of Heroes, Hank has made it pretty clear that it won't be his fault.

It will be Cashman's.

Since that is the job of the GM, then yes, it will be Cashman’s fault.Is this hard to comprehend?

"Hopefully, (trading for Santana) is not a move we should have made that I'm going to be ticked off about," Hank Steinbrenner told the Daily News.

"If Santana could have made the difference for us and the young pitchers aren't ready, people have to be held accountable," Hank Steinbrenner told Newsday.

Those aren't just predictable quotes from a Steinbrenner, they're practically like a home movie.

These should be predictable quotes from any owner who is concerned with this thing called winning.

But since Lupica is a little miserable bitch, he had to turn this non-story into an article.

But here's a question: If Hank Steinbrenner thought Johan Santana was worth the money and the prospects, why didn't he overrule Cashman and tell him to go make the deal?

Maybe he depends on his GM to make baseball decisions. And if his GM made a bad decision, then he should be held accountable. What the fuck don’t you get Mike? Is this some crazy story that just had to be acknowledged? Stop the presses! Hank thinks his employees should be held accountable for their actions!!!

If only the Daily News felt this way, maybe we wouldn’t have to be exposed to any more of Lupica’s bullshit.

When Hank decided that all was forgiven with Alex Rodriguez and that he wanted to give A-Rod a contract that will eventually be worth $300 million, who stopped him?

That was strictly a MONEY DECISION, douche bag! And it’s Hank’s money to spend, ya dope.

Jeez Mike you are so fucking dumb.

Hank threw money at A-Rod and nobody got in his way, he did it with Posada, he did it with Rivera, even though it is fair, no matter how much you admire the last two guys, to wonder what kind of bang Hank is going to get on his buck at the back end of their deals.

Once again, it was a money decision. Did they have to trade away Kennedy or Hughes to keep Mo or Jorge?

No.

Nice job comprehending, Lupicock.

Hank could have told Cashman to make the deal, thrown money at Johan Santana the way he did everybody else he wanted during this baseball winter, taken even a Yankee payroll to dizzying new heights.

See, asshole? It wasn’t just about the money for the Yankees. It was parting ways with Hughes and/or Kennedy.

By the way, a few weeks ago, you said Santana wasn’t worth $150 million.

The Mets gave him MORE THAN THAT and you said it was a deal the Mets had to make.

What are you going to say when Johan starts landing on the DL?

Are you gonna start ripping him and the Mets like you did with the Yankees and Pavano? Or are you gonna keep reminding us of the Yankees payroll and your wet dreams about Reyes?

* * *

If Shaq and his new team are playing on television, I'm watching that game.

You mean you’ll be able to stop watching bad reality tv shows to watch sports?

Wow, how professional of you. The Daily News must be so proud.

I love it when people talk about the Knicks' lack of effort and then don't talk about their coach.

Yes, we know, Mike. You are the only sports reporter who talks about how bad Isiah Thomas is.

I’m just kidding. Everyone talks about how bad he is.

YOU are the only tool to mention it in every fucking article you write though.

Because it is the worst thing you can say about any coach in sports, that his team doesn't try hard enough.

We spend so much time talking about this dysfunctional team - if it's as talented as I keep hearing, how come nobody else in the league wants any of Isiah's players?

Who are these sports geniuses you are talking to? Is it your “friends”, who think the Knicks are talented? Are these same same assholes who told you it was a stupid idea for the Giants to keep Tom Coughlin?

Wasn't SpyGate supposed to have gone away by now?

This coming from a guy whose list of recent articles looks like this:


This asshole writes about steroids on a daily basis (after writing about the Yankees payroll on a daily basis for 8 straight fucking years) and now he’s crying about SpyGate?

What a fuck.

I want to let bygones be bygones with Andy Pettitte,

…but then you would have to write articles about actual sports?

but the idea that anybody would use HGH a couple of times is like thinking you can take antibiotics for one day and not be sick anymore.

Right. Since he’s a Yankee, he cant be trusted, right Mike?

Please retire, and go do something you are really good at, like being short and miserable.

The difference between the Yankees and Red Sox

Welcome back, Lupica haters!

You knew it wouldn't be long until Lupicock would start crying about Yankee payroll, since they committed the ultimate sin by signing players!

The evil Empire strikes again!!!!

The Yankees have already spent $400 million the past few weeks and you know what that means, right?

It means 400 million will replace 200 million as the most overused number in Mike's weekly piece of shit article?

They're ready to spend more!

I’ll laugh my ass off if the Red Sox make the deal for Santana.

Lupica won’t say anything about it, except how much of a “magician” Theo Epstein is.

They're ready to break the bank for Johan Santana and thereby go against all the data on signing starting pitchers to longterm deals.

Right – and I remember when you wrote that article slamming the Red Sox for breaking the bank for Dice K.

Haha, just kidding. You never wrote that article.

$51 million just to talk to him.

Please.

Why?

Because they want him.

Genius.

Why else?

Because the Red Sox do.

So again, why slam just the Yankees? Why not lump the Red Sox in too? What happens if the Red Sox get him? Will you just ignore it, like every other time you’ve fucked up with your stupid assumptions?

Why won't Santana break down sometime during the length of his contract?

Because he's going to be a Yankee, that's why.

Yes, let’s assume every player who gets a longterm contract is gonna break down. That’s why your Mets didn’t go after Vlad Guerrero. How’d that work out for your Flushing bitches?

You want to know why the Yankees lose money on their baseball operation despite drawing 4 million fans a year to Yankee Stadium, why they need to be propped up by their network?

Now Mike is concerned the Yankees lost money this season? Aww, thanks Mike! Who knew you cared, ya filthy midget fuck!

Because of an offseason like this, when they are prepared to spend half-a-billion dollars on four baseball players:

A-Rod.
Posada.
Rivera.
Santana.

Three of those four are Hall of Famers, and two of those four are in their prime.

I know they’re not as good as, say, Brian Schneider and Ryan Church (for Lastings Milledge HAHA!!!) but they aren’t exactly chopped liver.

By the way, didn’t the Mets look into trying to get Santana and Posada?

Didn’t Mets fans have visions of Arod in that putrid blue and orange uniform?

If the Mets had any money or any players worth trading, they could have made all these deals too. And you would have loved it.

Johan Santana is a great pitcher, no doubt.

So SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY.

He isn't the Bionic Man just because the Yankees want him, and the Red Sox might get him.
See? There’s a difference – the Yankees want him, the Red Sox only might get him.

Red Sox, good…Yankees, BAD!!!

I've got a friend I write about sometimes,

Bullshit. You have no friends.

called Sweeney the Yankee Guy.

Sounds like a douche.

He sent me this e-mail the other day, when he found out what the Yankees were willing to give up in young guys for Santana:

Again, look at what the Red Sox are willing to give up, you stupid dick!

"The Yankees will never rebuild from within until this Steinbrenner is suspended."

Ask your retard of a “friend” when was the last time the Yankees starting pitching staff was made up of 3 to 5 homegrown guys? Wang, Joba, Kennedy, Hughes, and if you want to add Pettitte, that’s FIVE. If you take out Pettitte and Hughes, that’s still THREE.

That’s not building from within?

Your “friend” is an asshole.

And so are you Mike.

Enough Bullshit About Payroll

For years we've had to endure the same payroll bullshit from Mike The Douche Lupica.

The Yankee payroll is $200 million - every week, every month, every year, every article we have to hear about it. We get it. We did a little research about the Mets payroll - and guess what? Time to shove it up your ass, Mike.

You see, while the Yankees have had the highest payroll in the league, they have also made the playoffs every year.

Here's a quick breakdown for those of you (Lupica) who don't fucking get it.

(Click on the image, dumbass.)

Now, here's a breakdown of what the Mets have done since they last made the world series. I can't go all the way back to when they last WON the world series, for fear of crashing my hard drive.

(Click again, genius.)

So that's about three-quarters of a BILLION DOLLARS, and ONE PLAYOFF APPEARANCE!?

ONE DIVISION TITLE!?

TWO LAST PLACE FINISHES!?

And yet we have to hear, on a weekly fucking basis, how much the YANKEES LIKE TO SPEND!?

Mike, you are a fucking joke.

Go tell your golf buddy, Fred Wilpon, we said hi.

May be A-Rod's last shot to help Bombers opt into Series

Hello Lupica haters! Well look at this - no kissing the ass of Reyes, so you know what THAT means...

It's October Baseball time!

That's right! The time of year when the Yankees are getting ready to play and the Mets are getting ready to play golf.

It's also the time of year when Lupica starts to really hammer the Yankees, because his Mets are, once again, left out.

This article is all about, surprise, ARod!

In three Octobers with the Yankees, Alex Rodriguez has won nine postseason games.

Total.

You mean the Yankees won nine postseason games. Total.

Last time I checked, baseball is a team sport, numbnuts. One player cannot win a game by himself. Not even your butt buddy Jose Reyes, as we all saw this past September.

The most expensive baseball player in this world, the most famous this side of Barry Bonds because of the season he just had, now tries to do much better than that, starting tomorrow night against the Indians. So do the Yankees.

So wait - you are trying to say the Yankees AND Arod are trying to do better this postseason?Get the hell out of here - what a job uncovering that incredible story!

Mike is like Clark Kent, a newspaper writer who has the ability to turn into a super hero!!!

LOOK!!! Up in the sky!!!

It's a bird…

it's a plane…

it's…Repetitive Man!

Their payroll is always around $200 million.

Faster than a speeding bullet!!!

…we will see how aging starting pitching stands up for the Yankees at this time of year.

More powerful than a locomotive!!!

We will see about Roger Clemens, if and when he pitches, if the Family Guy can win the kind of postseason game for the Yankees that Randy Johnson - who was supposed to be the lefthanded Clemens here - never did in his 40s.

Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound!!!

What a douche. The same shit, over and over.

Is everything (Arod's) fault? Not on your life. No one has ever suggested that it is.

This coming from a guy who (more than) once said this -

…here is the progression for A-Rod, such as it is, since the Yankees made the big trade for him:

2004: Lose in the ALCS to the Red Sox, blowing a 3-0 lead in the process, the most epic calamity in the history of the organization.

2005: Lose in the first round of the playoffs to the Angels.

2006: Lose in the first round of the playoffs to the Tigers.

Tell me again how this is NOT suggesting it's ARod's fault?

But it is also fair to say that if he had done anything against the Angels, if he had somehow provided one huge offensive game against the Tigers - and why shouldn't we expect that from him? - then everything might have been different and the Yankees might already have their 27th world championship.

Maybe if ANYONE did ANYTHING MORE in those series, you wouldn't be writing this dumb fucking article, for the tenth time.

We know you love to lay the blame on Arod, because the Yankees made a great deal to get him, and because he has outperformed your bitch over in Flushing.

By the way, we're all waiting for the article(s) where you dump on Reyes for blowing the 2007 season for the Mets.

No one ever thought after the Subway Series of 2000 that the Yankees, spending the way they did, adding Randy Johnson in that time and Mussina and Johnny Damon and Hideki Matsui and Jason Giambi and Gary Sheffield, could ever go six years without winning it all.

The Mets spent more than everyone in the NL since they lost the World Series in 2000 - how has all that spending worked out for them?

Nobody thought Alex Rodriguez could go three years as a Yankee without a ring.

That's why people watch baseball - anything can happen.

Arod could go three years as a Yankee without a ring, the Mets can outspend all NL teams for SEVEN YEARS and only have ONE POSTSEASON to show for it.

Funny how you only mention the Yankees.

Fuck you.

The AL East race still has juice

Here we go – the last series between the Yankees and Red Sox this season, and Lupica has to check in with his incredible load of shit.

Diss #1 - never in this world was a team as loaded as the Yankees supposed to be 14 1/2 games off the lead at the end of May.

Diss #2 - The Yankees try to come all the way back and not have to play the Angels in the first round of the playoffs, because if they do, they could be one round and out for a third year in a row.

Diss #3 - The Yankees have overcome a lot. The Red Sox have overcome more, are 9-3 in September without Manny Ramirez.

Isn't it funny how EVERY TEAM has "overcome" more than the Yankees?

UPDATE: Since this article was printed, the “great” Red Sox have gone 1-5, and the “loaded” Yankees have gone 5-1.

Just for shits and giggles, Lupica’s team, the Mets, have also gone 1-5 since this article was written.

Oops, the Mets just blew it against the powerhouse Marlins, giving up three runs in the 9th and one in the 10th.

One and SIX.

Awesome.

Diss #4 - The Yankees? They are playing the way they were supposed to play all along, especially with a team full of stars, and another payroll pushing $200 million.

YAY! It’s the “$200 million” line that all Yankees fans have come to love!

It’s just not a Lupica article without the mention of the Yankees payroll.

For the last time, this Yankee team isn't a "Rocky" movie.

Yeah, it’s a baseball team, not a movie.

Thanks for the update, you midget genius.

The other night, the Yankees went up against the Blue Jays with Alex Rodriguez, the MVP of everything, and Jorge Posada, an MVP candidate himself in any other season except A-Rod's. They had Robinson Cano and Hideki Matsui and Jason Giambi and Johnny Damon. They had Derek Jeter…

Here comes the backhanded Jeter “compliment”!

…who still has the numbers, even though they seem pretty soft this time.

Pretty soft?

Let’s compare "soft"Jeter to Lupica’s butt buddy, Jose Reyes.

You know, Lupica’s “most exciting player in New York”?

Jeter
BA - .318
RBI - 67
SLG - .440
OBP - .388
OPS - .828
OPS+ - .123

Reyes
BA - .289
RBI - 50
SLG - .427
OBP - .362
OPS - .789
OPS+ - 108

And let's not forget...

NUMBER OF TIMES BENCHED FOR NOT HUSTLING
Jeter - 0
Reyes - 1

The only thing "soft" is Lupica around a hot chick.

Around Reyes?

That's another story.

The Red Sox have been vulnerable for awhile. The Red Sox should have added a hitter instead of Eric Gagne at the trade deadline, and paid for it when Gagne came over and blew three games fast. If that doesn't happen, the East is over already. Only it's not. Manny is hurt, Tim Wakefield got hurt and has had two bad starts since coming back, Daisuke Matsuzaka - tonight's Red Sox starter - has looked tired over his last several starts, and as hittable against everybody else as he usually is against the Yankees.

Holy shit, GIVE IT A REST, MIKE!!

When the Red Sox have hurt or underachieving players, they are “vulnerable”.

When the Yankees have hurt or underachieving players, Lupica writes jokes about them for months and reminds us how the Yankees have overpaid for their entire team.

Nice double standard, you dopey douche bag.

Maybe you and crybaby Youkilis should share a nice tender hug together. Candy ass bitches.

Oh my god the BASHING NEVER ENDS!!!

Welcome back, Lupica haters!

Last Friday, the Yankees started a stretch in their schedule where they were going to start playing a bunch of playoff contenders for about a month. Let's take a look at how they made out so far.

8.10.07 - Beat first place Indians on the road - 6-1
8.11.07 - Beat first place Indians on the road - 11-2
8.12.07 - Beat second place Indians on the road - 5-3
8.13.07 - Beat Orioles at home - 7-6
8.14.07 - Lost to Orioles at home - 12-0
8.15.07 - Lost to Orioles at home - 6-3
8.16.07 - Lost to first place Tigers at home - 8-5
8.17.07 - Beat second place Tigers at home- 6-1
8.18.07 - Beat second place Tigers at home - 5-2
8.19.07 - Beat second place Tigers at home - 9-3

So what can we take from this?

1. The Yankees knocked TWO first place teams into second place.

2. So far, during this "rough stretch" of their schedule, they have played .700 ball.

3. Some douche bags (cough cough Sweeny Murti cough) said the rough stretch didn't start until they played Detroit. In that case, the Yankees are playing .750 ball.

4. Before this rough stretch started, the Yankees were six games out of first place...after 10 games, they are now FOUR games out of first (thanks Gagne, your check is in the mail).

You may be asking yourself, "well, this is all great news, but what does it have to do with that little bitch Mike Lupica?" Well guess what? The little fuck never mentions ONE THING about how the Yankees are completely tearing it up, even after wiping their asses with Cleveland and Detroit. We get the SAME BULLSHIT that Lupica thinks is important...payroll, Giambi, payroll, Pavano, payroll...

Gee, Giambi just makes you believe in happy endings all over again, doesn't he?

Oh my GOD give it a fucking rest with Giambi!

He did steroids, he apologized for it, he met with Mitchell about it, he got a nice pat on the back and he is back to playing again.

By the way, you know who DOESN'T make me believe in happy endings?

Mike's little bitch Guillermo Mota; you know, Public Enemy Number One over in Flushing? He got busted for roids, got suspended, got RE-SIGNED by the Mets, and now he is blowing games left and right for Tom Glavine. Come to think of it, Mota's stupid resigning by the Mets IS a happy ending.

Joe Torre is too old to have to answer questions about Gary Sheffield.

Old? Is that the best adjective Lupica could come up with?

How about "smart"?

How about not even asking Torre about Sheffield, since Sheffield is a fucking moron?

God forbid the NY media sticks to things that NY sports fans actually care about.

There was all this thought after the Red Sox got Eric Gagne that the race in the American League East was over.

But now that he's blown three games in his last nine, Red Sox fans are sort of thinking that the race would be over if they'd never gotten the big guy.

This is as close as Lupica gets to giving the Yankees props. God forbid he actually comes right out and says the Yanks are playing great. Lupica dumps all the credit on Gagne.

What a dick.

And now, the moment we've all been waiting for - the weekly "Mention How Much Money The Yankees Like To Spend" moment!

You want to know the difference between the Yankees economy - still - and everybody else's?

They not only spend $52 million on Johnny Damon and $40 million on Carl Pavano and $26 million on Kei Igawa, but when the time comes to write them off, whatever the reasons, it's like some kind of check-writing speed bump.

He could have mentioned how the Yankees filled in open roster spots more than adequately with farm guys like Melky, Shelley Duncan, Hughes, and Chamberlain.

He could have made a favorable comparison to the Yankees trade deadline moves versus the Red Sox getting Gagne.

Haha holy shit! What was I thinking? This is Mike Lupica we're talking about! Haha!

Thank god for Lupica - without him, I would never know anything about Carl Pavano.

There has always been a fair amount of rooting on YES, because that's what you get on all state-run baseball television.

But this year, as the Yankees have come back, there has been more than ever.

I guess this is Lupica's new angle. Since he can't knock the surging Yankees, he'll knock the fucking announcers!?

What the hell, he was bashing the Yankee announcers a few weeks ago too - jeez, who knew that Lupica likes to repeat himself, over and over?

And over?

What a shocker.

I guess it's wrong for the YES announcers to root for the Yankees, but it's ok for a bitch like Lupica to slam them on a weekly basis.

Please.

By the way, while the guys on YES are "rooting" for the Yankees, what the hell is going on in the Mets broadcast booth?

They are an 8-ball and a Wally Backman away from having the entire 1986 team up in there.

Which is kind of ironic - what do the current Mets and the '80s Mets have in common?

They are both massive underachievers.

Yet another topic Lupica wouldn't dare touch on.