And our best friend, Mike Lupica, was blessed with the opportunity to cover both deals! But lets run you over the details of each deal first.
Yankees get: New Babe Ruth, Cloned from DNA of Old Babe Ruth, age 25.
Red Sox get: Alfredo Aceves, Brett Gardner, Ian Kennedy, Mark Melancon & $20 Million Dollars.
Yankees sign New Babe Ruth to a 10-year contract extension worth $250 Million.
Mike Lupica's Coverage:
Theo Epstein, again, proves what an amazing general manager that he is, by fleecing a boatload of cash and four of the best Yankee prospects of the last 20 years out of Brian Cashman.
The Yankees offered fists-full of money for a guy who's not proven, who might well buckle under the pressure of playing baseball in New York. Who knows how Babe Ruth will respond to the media and the rigors of playing in New York City? Certainly not Cashman, who commits too many years, and too many dollars to a guy who's probably overrated.
And moreso, how does Cashman explain it to his spoiled fans, when Gardner turns out to be Bernie Williams? And when Kennedy and Aceves morph into Pettitte and Mussina? And best of all, if Melancon becomes the next great closer in baseball?
The Yankees have thrown away their future because they're desperate to get young, to get the big name, even if it comes with a big body. An overweight outfielder who's behavior off the field will never be as good as on it.
For Cashman's sake, he'd better hope those prospects are typical "Yankee Prospects." You know, the ones everybody loves until it's time to bring them up to The Show.
And now for the Mets deal:
Mets get: New Babe Ruth, Cloned from DNA of Old Babe Ruth, age 25.
Phillies get: Mike Pelfrey, Fernando Martinez, Daniel Murphy, Jon Niese, Nick Evans & $30 Million Dollars.
Mets sign New Babe Ruth to a 15-year contract extension worth $500 Million.
Mike Lupica's Coverage:
This was a deal the Mets had to make. Ruth is a big man who's ready for the big city. In fact, there's no other city big enough for him. The biggest thing about this kid is his talent. He solves so many problems for the New Mets, giving them a big bat in the outfield and an extra large persona inside the clubhouse. And the biggest thing of all for the big kid that's heading to Flushing, is the big hits he'll produce in the clutch.
People might say that the Mets gave up too much, or paid too much, or tried to hard, but there's just no way Omar Minaya could let this opportunity pass him bye. This changes everything for the Mets, who show that they won't back down from anybody.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Newsflash!!! Mets and Yankees Acquire Babe Ruth, Cloned from DNA!!
Saturday, July 19, 2008
This Week's Load Of Crap
I skipped Lupica's dumb column about Brett Favre and went straight for the blurbs...
I loved the All-Star Game the other night, from the Hall of Famers on the field, to George Steinbrenner on the field, to Michael Young's sac fly.
So I guess all that hype you complained about last week was all for nothing?
I ended up sitting in the stands for the last half of it,
Because security wouldn’t let you sit there for the first half?
stayed to the end,
Let’s hear it for Mike Lupica – he actually left his New Canaan house to witness a sporting event in person, and he stayed for the entire game!
I mean, wow.
and had as much fun watching it play out as I've had watching any All-Star Game in any sport.
Did you sit on Wilpon’s lap during the game?
Everybody always seemed to have the bases loaded and there were about four different times when you were sure it was over.
Only then it wasn't, and they played on.
Amazing how sports works like that – you never know how it will end.
Thanks for finally getting up to speed, Mike.
Tell you what, though: I wish I could have been with the commissioner of all baseball, my friend Mr. Selig,
It’s good to know that you aren’t above name-dropping at this point in your career.
Come to think of it, at your height, you aren’t really above anything, are you?
when his home plate umpire called Dioner Navarro out when he was clearly safe, and the game should have ended right there.
That might have been kind of neat.
Neat? Of all the adjectives the Midget of Media could have used, he went with “neat”.
What a dork.
Can somebody explain to me why there is this constant panic rush to write off the 2008 Yankees, who aren't just in the running for a wild card, but to still win the AL East?
Yes, Mike Lupica really wrote this.
It’s like when Dwight Gooden was doing those “Just Say No To Drugs” commercials in the ‘80s while snorting lines between takes.
I think it's sort of official that you're going to see me coming out of the bullpen for the Mets before El Duque does.
Considering when Wilpon says “jump,” you always respond with “how high?”
Actually, replace “jump” and “how high” with “swallow” and “how much.”
I do love it when the Yankees act surprised, and sometimes nearly get the vapors, when aging players start to break down on them.
You mean like El Duque, Pedro Martinez and Felipe Alou?
One more time, for those of you (Lupica) who haven’t been paying attention:
Yankees = 8th oldest team in the league.
Mets = 3rd oldest team in the league.
As always, the I-Team at this paper finds it pretty darn special when it breaks a story like the one it did this week about Kirk Radomski shipping HGH to Roger Clemens' house and then seeing the same news presented as breaking news somewhere else.
Coming from a guy who has never ONCE broken a story, yet will dwell on a topic until the end of time as if it was his own.
How quickly Lupica forgot the reason why Lisa Olsen quit.
Jonathan Papelbon may need a filter on his mouth sometimes, and will never be the darling of Yankee fans, but if there is one thing the young man is not, it is overrated.
Why single out Yankee fans?
The guy is a great pitcher, but he seems to love coming across as a total douche. You don’t have to be a Yankee fan to see this.
No wonder you are standing up for him – he’s your kind of guy!
No matter how much Yankee Stadium sang that to him the other night.
When a guy starts talking about being better than another player, when he clearly is not, then he is overrating himself.
So fuck you.
I'll be off for a week or so working on my second serve.
Second serving of what, “Load ala Wilpon?”
See you in August.
You’ll be missed.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Enough-Lupica's 100th Post!!! What Have We Learned?
Yes, you read correctly. This is our 100th post at enough-lupica.com, and that cross-eyed, vertically-challenged lawn gnome still works for the Daily News. I just want to say that I officially consider this blog a failure, and I hope you all die. Okay, okay... I'm totally kidding.
What better way to celebrate 100 posts on this blog than to recap what we've learned over the last 100 entries? And what better way to do that, than to use Mike Lupica's article in today's Daily News as a basis for our research?
(For regular Lupica readers, let me explain what 'research' means. It means that we're going to look through a set of information, compare and contrast it against other pertinent information, and draw logical conclusions based on the results. In other words, something Mike hasn't done in at least 12 years.)
The Red Sox's lead over the Yankees was in double figures at this time last year, and this time last year there was no other team in their division for them to worry about.
A simple search at ESPN.com reveals the following. As of July 7, 2007... the Yankees were 9.5 games behind the Boston Red Sox. The Toronto Blue Jays were exactly 10.0 games back. By Mike Lupica's infallible logic, they were very much in the Yankees rear-view mirror. What's my point? Yes Mr. Lupica... there WAS another team in their division to worry about. The team in Toronto. It took me a grand total of 11 seconds to research this fact and give it to my readership... but you obviously have no use for facts.
The Yankees nearly came all the way back.
After you pronounced them dead several times, Mr. Best Sports Journalist in New York.
This Yankee team is wounded, and not nearly as good.
Reasons why the Yankees were better in 2007: Doug Mientkiewicz, Andy Phillips, Miguel Cairo, Josh Phelps, Wil Nieves, 12 starts from Kei Igawa, Roger Clemens, Luis Vizcaino, Scott Proctor, Ron Villone.
Reasons why Mike Lupica's statement is retarded: Joba Chamberlain, Cano's Annual Post-June Tear, Mussina's resurgence, Giambi's resurgence, Kei Igawa has only thrown 4 innings, A-Rod is heating up, Posada missed like 40 games, despite losing our best pitcher we're still surging and likely to get help within the next 3 weeks.
It is still good enough to beat the Red Sox, off what we are seeing from the Red Sox lately.
Nice veiled shot here. Vintage Lupica. Backhanded compliments. Translation: The Sox are playing like shit lately, so I guess the Yankees can probably catch them. Funny that he never mentions that the Mets play in the second-worst division in baseball.
Damon is right, because even though the Rays lost yesterday, they still have the Yankees by nine in the loss column.
Which is a nice way of exaggerating the fact that the Yankees are 8.5 games back. It's a presumption that the Rays will win their next game. The only time a normal, credible journalist pays attention to "the loss column" is during the last 2 weeks of a season. Our boy LupiCunt does it for effect.
But if last year's Yankees could make the kind of second-half run they did on a Red Sox team good enough to win it all, this year's Yankees can make a run at the Rays, starting tonight.
Again, typical LuPRICKa. He shits on a team for two paragraphs, then throws them a fucking carrot. This team's not as good as last year, and I guess they can make a run at the Sox because they're playing like shit.... but if they could make a run at those AMAZING AWESOME WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP CALIBER RED SOX... then I guess they can try to catch the Rays. Fuck you and everything you stand for, Mike Lupica.
We don't know how Joe Girardi manages in an American League East race, if his team can stay in it.
Yeah, we don't know how Joe Girardi manages in an AL East Race!! He might get the shakes, ban coffee in the clubhouse and put Bobby Abreu on an IV of Ice Cream! He might bat Dan Giese in the leadoff spot!! He might decide to call up Kei Igawa to counteract the shortage of SUCK in the bullpen... I mean, since Billy Wagner's probably unavailable.
And we don't know if Brian Cashman, who didn't want Johan Santana, can get the Yankees the kind of pitching help they need, which means more than Sidney Ponson.
1) Yes Mike, we get it. He didn't want Santana. You remind us in every article. How's Santana doing in that intense NL East Race? What? He's 7-7? And his strikeouts are down? And he already looks like he regrets signing that extension across town? Because he feels like he's pitching for the Ringling Brothers team? And the coach mugged him at knife-point in the shower?
2) Yeah, we got Ponson. He was free. At his best, he's a league-average pitcher who gives you a lot of innings. Lets look at what another local team's done to patch together their woeful pitching staff. Nelson Figueroa, Claudio Vargas and Tony Armas. That crazy Omar Minaya has obviously outfoxed Cashman again.
The Yankees have enough to make their run with just a little pitching help.
Oh, you mean like when 2/5ths of our projected starting rotation for the year comes off the DL in a few weeks? Yeah... Phil Hughes and Ian Kennedy are still living, breathing humans. They didn't die.
They have enough to make a run if Derek Jeter produces the way he is supposed to, if Robinson Cano, who busted up Sunday night's game with a triple and then scored the winning run in the bottom of the 10th, hits the way he is supposed to.
Cano during the 1st half (Career): .283/.316/.420, 22 HR, 133 RBI
Cano during the 2nd half (Career): .334/.366/.540, 32 HR, 141 RBI (in 400+ less PAs)
Jeter is having what would be the worst year of his career. Statistically speaking, he's one of the most consistent players in baseball history.
So lets all take a moment to congratulate Mike Lupica on these BOLD predictions. Cano has to hit better in the second half... LIKE HE ALWAYS DOES... LIKE HE'S ALREADY BEGUN DOING (19 for his last 50, which amounts to hitting .380.) And Jeter needs to improve... LIKE HE'S STATISTICALLY ALMOST FUCKING GUARANTEED TO DO BASED ON 13 SEASONS OF DATA!!!!!!!
And they can make their run, hang in there with the Red Sox and Rays, if Alex Rodriguez finally starts carrying the team the way he did at the start of last season and the way he is supposed to.
And here's what it always comes down to. A-Rod is supposed to play full-seasons like they're April 2007. That's where the Lupi-bar is set for A-Rod. Anything less than .355/.415/.882 with 14 homers and 34 RBI in a month is unacceptable from A-Rod.
Never mind the fact that you're asking the guy to hit 98 homers and drive in 239 runs. He makes a lot of money!! That's what's EXPECTED OF HIM!!!
When a team isn't scoring enough, isn't getting runners home,
It's probably the collective fault of the entire lineup, especially when you're talking about the Yankees. Damon, Jeter, Abreu, Cano, Giambi, Posada... these guys are supposed to be a Murderers Row... so you should blame them all when you're not scoring runs, right?
that is when the biggest run producer in baseball and the guy being paid the most to have the biggest stick (on the field) is supposed to be at his best, and hitting .253 with runners in scoring position shouldn't be his best.
Jesus H. Christ! By the way, the H. actually stands for 'Hfucking.' Jesus Hfucking Christ!!!
1) A-Rod is 19/75 with RSIP this year, with 17 BB. If he had hit 4 extra singles, he'd be 23/75 and batting .307 with RSIP. Are you telling me that those 4 singles are the reason we're not leading the AL East by 5 games?
2) With RSIP and 2 Outs, here's A-Rod's line - .219/.444/.500 with 12 BB (5 IBB). 7/32 with 12 walks... so maybe it has SOMETHING to do with the fact that teams DON'T PITCH TO HIM!!! When he draws walks, he's un-clutch. When he makes outs, he's un-clutch. So what the fuck do you want him to do when a pitcher doesn't throw strikes!? You want him to hit a pitch that's a foot off the plate 500 feet to dead center?!
Giambi's batting .189 with RSIP. Why not mention that? Isn't he making more money than the Florida Marlins this year? Why is it always A-Rod?
People will put up with almost anything from their sports stars, even the kind of low-rent, high-profile, gag-me publicity A-Rod is getting these days, as long as they produce.
For the umpteenth time, nobody cares about A-Rod's marriage. Nobody gives a shit about his feud with Jeter. Nobody minds if he tans in Central Park or plays Poker!! Babe Ruth played here for Chrissake!! His daily regimen involved a dozen hot dogs, seven hookers and a gallon of grain whiskey!!! And don't get me started on Mickey Mantle! We don't fucking care as long as he hits!! He's batting .323 with 18 homers and 50 RBI in 69 games!!!! Yankee fans couldn't give a shit less if he was fucking Pope Benedict spread eagle on the Vatican steps!!!!
A-Rod comes into the Rays series hitting .323, with 18 home runs and 50 RBI, despite missing more games than he usually does.
That's what I just said... how can you possibly fuck this up?
But it shows you where the bar is with Madonna's bad kaballah guy that it hasn't looked or felt or seemed like nearly enough.
The bar is down the block from your office. You go there and get shitfaced with the midget from the Bacardi & Diet Cola commercials, and then you torment me with these terrible fucking articles!!! We don't care if he fucks Madonna. Frankly, some of us hope there's a sex tape involved. (Hey A-Rod, if you're reading this, think about it... we could make a killing! You'd make back all the money from the divorce!! Call me!!)
I felt like he won his MVP award over the first half of the season, when there were all those days and nights when it seemed as if he were all the Yankees had.
Another vintage Lupica tactic. Opinion. I felt like... I thought. Hey Lupica, when we want your opinion, we'll take our dicks out of your mouth... mmkay?
Everything with Lupica is his opinion... or a baseless comparison to something that already happened. Research is never involved, even in the slightest.
But ask Yankee fans about A-Rod's season so far, and what they want to talk about is moments like the one in Friday's game, when he had the chance to bring his team back and grounded into a force play against Manny Delcarmen with the bases loaded.
What Yankee fans are you asking? Your friends? If Mike Lupica tried to ask a Yankee fan for ANYTHING, he'd be beaten within inches of his life. So how could he possibly know what's on our minds? Which brings me to another point...
WHAT QUALIFIES THIS FUCKING PRICK TO WRITE ABOUT THE YANKEES!?
Nobody on the team talks to him. The fans are loathe to him. He obviously isn't nearly as interested in covering the team as he is in his Reality TV or his Liberal Politics. He's completely out of touch with his readers. Why has this man not been fired yet? Or reassigned? Or banished to the snake fields of Zimbabwe?
You know who hasn't underproduced, even though he's been slumping again lately? Giambi. He has pretty much the same power numbers as A-Rod, and it seems like he has provided a lot more important swings.
Again... it SEEMS LIKE! Which is why it's unwise to evaluate baseball players based on your gut, or what it feels like, or seems like... or what you think. I just pointed out the fact that Jason Giambi has batted .189 with Runners in Scoring Position. Personally, I assign very little weight to the stat... however... it was Mike Lupica's basis for CRUCIFYING A-ROD.
It took me 7.4 seconds to research this stat. And this proves, completely, that Mike Lupica has done absolutely NO research. Maybe the reason it SEEMS like Giambi's gotten more big hits... is because he didn't MISS TWENTY GAMES WITH A QUAD INJURY!!! Maybe? Possible?
And Manny looked like he didn't care on Sunday night when he took three straight strikes from Mo Rivera, in a disgraceful at-bat.
A fucking day ago, this guy was giving us the pitch-by-pitch and raving about how dominant Rivera was. No chance!! Oh my goodness gracious!! Golly golly gumdrops!!! Now it's all because Manny didn't care! Disgraceful! Awful!! Horrible!! Anybody could have struck Manny out!! Jose Canseco could trotted out and thrown 3 knuckleballs past him!!! And then floated away like the Good-Year Blimp with his HGH muscles!!
But lets get to the conclusion.
The Yankees aren't as good as they used to be.
Based on what Mike Lupica sees and feels... which also tells him that Jason Giambi has been carrying the Yankees with his .189 BA with RSIP!! And A-Rod's been killing them with his shitty 18 homers in 69 games.
I can't honestly tell you what's been learned after 100 posts here. I can tell you one thing that we HAVEN'T learned. How to get this little cum-guzzler fired. We need to study. And just for the hell of it... here's some more Vintage Lupica!
In the words of Howard Cosell, I'm just telling it like it is.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Shooting From The...*YAWWWWWWNNNN*
I'd be lying if I said that it didn't get a little bit tiring, constantly having to defend New York sports from the tyranny of the Keebler Elf Leader. Luckily for me, he actually picked a new topic for Sunday's Shooting from the Lip! Something he's never bitched or whined about!! The New York Knicks!!! Hooray!!!!
Also, we have another mention of Lupica's friends. He sure does seem to have a lot of them, doesn't he? Must be hard for him to remember all of their names and birthdays, not to mention his busy schedule of being a centerpiece in circle jerks all over the tri-state area. Well, before you shed a tear, let me assure you that none of Lupica's "friends" actually have names... because they don't fucking exist.
There is a Knicks fan I know, a big one, who happened to be in London this week.
Bullshit Mike. Who'd you bump into? Spike Lee? He wouldn't risk his street cred to talk to your midget ass! Don't even fucking lie to me. There are like 17 Knicks fans (including myself) in the entire world right now. You didn't find one of them in London.
The last time he attended the NBA draft in person was the night the Knicks traded away Marcus Camby and Nene, did all that and got Antonio McDyess' knee in return.
Yeah, that was a bad fucking trade. But now I know it's not Spike Lee, because there's no way he hasn't been to a draft in that long.
But the guy was sure interested in this one, and sure that he didn't want the Italian kid, Danilo Gallinari.
Of course your imaginary Knick Fan friend doesn't want Gallinari!! If he did, then you'd have no vehicle in which to drive this shitty article up the ass of the 17 actual Knick fans who give a shit.
The guy said that he had stayed with his team through everything, through what has become the worst era in Knicks history, stayed with them through Isiah Thomas, but that if Donnie Walsh drafted the Italian kid, he was done with the Knicks, that's it, goodbye, he'd wait to see if the Nets ever actually made it to Brooklyn.
This Knick fan sounds a lot like Mike Lupica, doesn't he? Lets be serious here. You're a Knick fan (one of the 17) and you've been through season after season of embarrassing, frustrating losses. You've been through Isiah Thomas, Eddie Curry, Larry Brown, Isiah Thomas, Starbury, Lenny Wilkens, Herb Williams, Isiah Thomas, Alan Houston's knees, Antonio McDyess's mummified corpse, Isiah Thomas's sexual harassment suit, Nate Robinson attacking Malik Rose in the shower and Isiah Thomas... and you're gonna quit on your team because they draft a guy that you don't like? Before you ever see the guy play a fucking game?
If this was actually said by a "Knick fan", and not made up in the dwarven brain of Mike Lupica, then whoever this "Knick fan" is... is the worst excuse for a bandwagon fan in the history of bandwagon fanhood. The Knicks haven't even HAD a bandwagon in at least 10 years... and this guy's just jumping off it now?
Speaking of riding dead horses, they just loaded Eight Belles into the starting gate at Belmont for the 1st race. Velazquez thinks he can get one more good run out of her.
He doesn't play any defense, and if we're ever going to get good again in my lifetime, we're eventually going to have to play some defense, right?
Did D'Antoni make them play defense in Phoenix? How'd they do out there? Oh, that's right. Better than the Knicks. And how do you know how much defense Gallinari plays? WE'VE NEVER FUCKING SEEN HIM IN THE NBA!!!!!
The drafting of the Italian kid - and that's if Walsh and D'Antoni are right about him - is the start of the team's extreme makeover.
Because what's a Mike Lupica article without some reference to Reality TV?! Extreme Makeover - Knicks Edition!
The Knicks aren't just the worst team in town, they are the one furthest from being something.
I think the Mets are fucked a lot more than the Knicks, no offense Met fans. The Knicks have some young guys that have shown improvement with Nate Robinson, David Lee, Renaldo Balkman, Wilson Chandler, and now Gallinari. They've got Marbury's expiring contract as a massive trading chip.
Lupica's boyfriends, the Mets, pillaged their minor league system for Johan, who already looks like he doesn't want to be here. Oliver Perez and Aaron Heilman also can't wait to get the fuck out of town. Beltran plays baseball 5 years older than he is. Castillo's locked up for 4 years. That team is basically "David Wright or Bust!" for the foreseeable future... and by the time they can do something serious to fix that, David Wright's probably going to want out too. But at least Reyes can dance... when he's not prompting the manager to threaten to cut him.
***
But Bill Clinton was here the other day and seems to be almost as big in England as Jerry Lewis is in France.
More important than the reality TV reference, is the veiled shot at guy who hasn't been the President in 7 1/2 years. Got any good Reagan jokes? How about Lincoln! Lincoln jokes are a gas!!
There's this sausage they sell at Wimbledon called a Dutchee and it's pretty good.
Mike Lupica loves the sausage.
Not bratwurst-in-Milwaukee good, but close enough
I mean, really fucking loves the sausage. Rather than pasting the rest of this, just trust me when I say that he goes on for another half a page about the sausage. How they poke it with a needle to make sure it's ready to be stuck in your mouth. How slow the line is. How he was as excited as a virgin on prom night about wrapping his lips around some big, hot, thick, juicy, British Sausage...
Bondy would have been a lot more impressed about my soccer knowledge if my 6-to-1 bet on Turkey against Germany had paid off, I can tell you that right now.
If any Turkish people are reading this, please note than this is the reason your team lost! Mike Lupica bet on them. I don't know how hardcore you guys are about soccer, but if you want to assassinate somebody for causing the loss to zee Germans, you should target Mike Lupica. He cursed them.
What part of "contract year" is Oliver Perez not getting so far?
The part where he's supposed to win games when his offense doesn't score any runs. If you had ever actually WATCHED a baseball game, you'd understand what I mean.
Who would have thought at the start of the season that Mike Mussina would come back and pitch the way Mets fans want Pedro to pitch?
Mike Mussina's ERA+ is 104 right now. That means he's basically league-average. He's got 10 wins because his team scores runs. That's not to say that he hasn't pitched well, but the bottom line is that he's not chasing a Cy Young or anything.
If Mussina was pitching for the Mets, he'd be 6-10 instead of 10-6, because the Mets don't have the offense to get a guy the win if he gives up 4 runs. And Lupica would bitch about wanting Pedro.
Red Sox fans have probably forgotten all that "Nancy Drew" stuff on J.D. from last season by now, I'm guessing.
Why? He's still a fucking faggot. And he's on pace to miss 28 games this season. He's currently played in 71/85. People call him "Nancy Drew" because he's softer than a newborn baby's ballsack! Not because he can't hit.
Twelve-year-old Shannon Hamilton, from Albuquerque, N.M., won the third go-round's ranch rodeo at the Imus Cattle Ranch for Kids with Cancer, and set the 2008 roping record in the process.
Welcome to the latest installment of "Using Don Imus's Charitable Deeds to Justify the Fact that He's a Fucking Racist!!"
I'm just hoping the Rev. Al doesn't have any problem with that.
Rev. Al doesn't have a problem with that. Rev. Al has a problem with Imus going on the radio and screaming racial slurs and stereotypes about black people to boost his fucking ratings. Unless you really believe that he was implying that "Pacman was unfairly targeted." Are you that stupid? I didn't think so. I'm not either.
They're not nearly as interested in the Subway Series here as you might think.
I wouldn't think that people in London give a shit about the Mets or Yankees. They have their own sports to worry about.
I had heard London was expensive. What I didn't know was that I was going to need a summer job when I got home.
Don't worry little boy. I'm sure the Daily News will set you up with a paper route to make extra money.
What?! You're a 53 year old man?! Can't they get you some growth hormones or something?!I guess you could be a chimney sweep! Maybe Santa needs help making the toys!!
Monday, June 23, 2008
6/22 Shooting From The Lip
I don't even have the energy today to dissect the soft, careful critique that Lupiduck wrote about the Mets and Willie. All I'll say is that the story has been covered from every imaginable angle, including Willie Randolph writing his own perspective on it in the New this week. So just when every possible angle of coverage has been exhausted, here's Lupica to write another page and a half about it. Nothing new. Nothing controversial. Nothing smart. Just the same garbage you've already read. The clock now starts on how long Lupica will continue to talk about the Willie Randolph firing. We're taking bets. The under is September 2011.
I hope the Knicks go for Joe Alexander of West Virginia, just on his nickname alone: Vanilla Sky.
Drafting players based on their nicknames is a terrific way to get a top-flight player. I can see it now!!
David Stern: With the first pick in the 2008 NBA Draft, the Chicago Bulls select Nathan "The Best Most Awesome Player in NBA History Better than if Michal Jordan and Wilt Chamberlain had a Baby Who Was 17 Feet Tall and made of Titanium" Jawai!!
Mel Kipper, Jr.: Wow, so the Bulls go a different route with Jawai! I really thought he was a late first rounder. He doesn't have a lot of upside potential, but I don't know. With a nickname like that he's almost got to be successful, doesn't he?
And another thing. Vanilla Sky was a Tom Cruise movie. Am I detecting a bit of short-bias from Lupica here? Tom Cruise is short, Lupica is... well... shorter. These midgets are starting to stick together.
I can't be positive about this, but I think Ray Allen just made another 3.
The reason he can't be positive, is because that would involve actually watching sports, which would interrupt Lupica's busy schedule of American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance, Living Lohan, Denise Richards: It's Complicated and, of course, Celebrity Circus, where Mike Lupica is pulling for his cousin Wee Man.
My man Bob Ryan, Boston Globe, has said for years that Paul Pierce was the most gifted offensive player the Celtics have ever had, and Ryan turned out to be absolutely right.
Welcome to the latest episode of Lupica: My Man! Does it ever get less homoerotic? Nope.
Just for the record though, lets look at this for a second.
Paul Pierce, The Best Offensive Player in Celtics History: 23.1 PPG, 1 NBA title, 0 MVPs.
Larry Bird, The Piece of Shit Prick with a Bad Back: 24.3 PPG, 3 NBA titles, 3 MVPs.
Bob Ryan is a complete fucking moron. He's always been a complete fucking moron. And he's also short. So again, midgets fucking sticking together!!
Phil Jackson did so much scribbling during timeouts in Game 6, I thought he was making diary entries.
And yet Phil Jackson is an 11x NBA Champion, and has won 9 of those trophies as a coach. He's recognized as one of the 10 best coaches in NBA history. So I'm going to go out on a limb here, and say that whatever he was scribbling was pertinent to trying to win a basketball game.
I'll tell you one thing that Phil Jackson WASN'T writing. Checks to the refs. Doc Rivers and the Bookies had already taken care of that.
Or starting a to-do list about finding players who don't think playing defense is some sort of parttime job.
It's hard to play defense when one team is being called for hand-check fouls while the other team is allowed to throw closed fists at Black Mamba's head without a whistle.
The Yankees really are in the middle of one of the softest interleague schedules in the history of the known universe: Astros, Padres, Reds, Pirates.
Compared to the Mets, who played the Rangers, the Angels... the Colorado Rockies... and the Mariners. The Angels are tough... but that's not exactly a buzz-saw until the Yankees get to town.
Michael Jordan does not let his team lose the way the Lakers did the other night and neither does LeBron James, and that's that.
Which is why the Cavs beat the Spurs for the NBA title last year!! Because LeBron refused to let his team lose... wait, what? The Cavs got swept in that series!? Then what the fuck is Lupica talking about?
Give me the first pick and I pick LeBron every time.
Didn't we already discover in this very article, that Lupica drafts players based on nickname, so all this tells us is that he think "King James" is better than "The Black Mamba." Give me the first pick, and I'd take Nathan "The Best Most Awesome Player in NBA History Better than if Michal Jordan and Wilt Chamberlain had a Baby Who Was 17 Feet Tall and made of Titanium" Jawai.
Imagine the howling, from sea to shining sea, if the Celtics had ever quit playing on Doc Rivers the way the Lakers came to a complete screeching halt in Game 6.
You mean kind of the way the Celtics quit on Doc Rivers 10 games into the 2007 season?
Make me see "The Love Guru."
Please go see "The Love Guru." It was the worst piece of shit I ever watched... so you'll probably love it. Plus you can support the work of fellow gnome, Vern Troyer. But this is a weird random statement... even for you. What are you trying to segue into?
Speaking of Sen. Clinton: Where's her husband these days?
How could I not see it coming... this was a segue into a CLINTON JOKE!! Very classy of Lupica to keep beating the dead horse. Hey Mike... she's out of the race. She walked away. Shouldn't you be bashing Barack Obama and John McCain, while touting the candidacy of Hervé Villechaize (aka Tattoo from Fantasy Island)?
Monday, June 2, 2008
Fun Facts About Lupica's Good Friend Paul Westphal
Six can do "fun facts" posts too! Take that Fafa!!!
Paul Westphal was, in fact 191-88 as Phoenix's manager.
Fun Fact #1 - Players on his team during those years include Kevin Johnson, Dan Majerle, Charles Barkley, Danny Ainge, Cedric Ceballos, Tom Chambers, Richard Dumas, Wayman Tisdale and A.C. Green.
Fun Fact #2 - Westphal was fired because Phoenix started out 14-19 in the 1995-96 season despite a team featuring Charles Barkley, Michael Finley, Kevin Johnson, Danny Manning, Wesley Person and Wayman Tisdale (who all averaged double-digit scoring that year). 6 Guys averaging double-digits + .424 winning percentage = fired. Especially when you haven't won a ring with all that talent yet.
Fun Fact #3 - Westphal was 76-71 as coach of the Seattle Sonics from 1998-2001, with teams that included Gary Payton, Detlef Schrempf, pre-alcoholic Vin Baker and Rashard Lewis.
Fun Fact #4 - From 1996 when the Suns dumped him, to 1998 when the Sonics hired him, Paul Westphal was an assistant coach for a High School Team in Arizona.
Paul Westphal lost the Phoenix job because they underachieved in the Playoffs... and then sucked in the regular season.
And he lost the Sonics job, because he sucks. He's lucky to be an assistant coach now, and I pity the next team who hires him as a head coach.
The New York Mets Payroll is Still $140 Million Dollars!
I told you that's the name of every post I do from now on... okay, not really. But you laughed, didn't you? Shooting from the Lip. For the record, isn't the phrase "shooting from the hip"? Is that what passes as witty wordplay these days? Am I getting old? Or is Lupica just a complete fucking douchebag?
Tom Coughlin's football Giants finished one of those seasons just four months ago, the greatest finish and the greatest season any New York sports team has ever had.
Really Mike? So the 2008 Giants had the greatest season in New York history?
What about the 1996 Yankees? You remember? Down 2-0 and came back? Wade Boggs riding around the Stadium on a Pony and crying? The end of an 18-year drought for the Yanks? Jeter's legacy beginning? Darryl Strawberry and Doc Gooden getting their second rings? David Cone? Jimmy Key? Rivera-to-Wetteland?
Shit, what about the 1986 Mets? Doc and Darryl and Keith and at least 700 lbs of cocaine? And Lenny Dykstra walking around the clubhouse with steroids in a fucking I.V. drip? Mookie and HoJo and Lee Mazzilli and George Foster? Buckner handing the series to Los Mets in a refrigerator box?
What about the 1994 New York Rangers? 1940!! 54 Years!! The Curse is Over!! Now I Can Die in Peace signs!! Stephane Matteau!! Messier's guarantee!! Does any of this ring a bell at all? Mike? Are you there? Mike?
I've gone back as far as 1986 and listed 3 different championship seasons better than the 2008 Giants. Don't get me wrong, I love the Giants, and I'll be forever grateful to them for ruining the Pats perfect season... but greatest championship in New York History? Sorry, but no.
But no one we are going to have will win as long and as often as Joe Torre did.
Know who won more than Joe Torre here? Casey Stengel. Know who else? Joe McCarthy. Know what they have in common? None of them are the SOLE REASON the Yankees won championships. None of them hit or pitched the Yankees to a ring as the manager. None of them made a diving grab in Game 7.
Stengel and McCarthy had terrific, amazing, outstanding baseball players. Ruth, Gehrig, DiMaggio, Mantle, Maris, Berra, etc. You know the names.
Torre had the biggest, most ginormous payroll in baseball history, as Lupica can't stop reminding us. He also had O'Neill, Tino, Bernie, Jeter, Wade Boggs, Pettitte, Key, Cone, Clemens, Mo Rivera, Graeme Lloyd, El Duque, Hideki Irabu, Jorge, Scott Brosius, Homer Bush, Chuck Knoblauch, Chad Curtis, Shane Spencer, the mummified corpse of Glenallen Hill, Jimmy King Leyritz and Halle Berry's ex-husband! So lets not act like Torre managed the Yankees to anything that my fucking Shar Pei couldn't have managed them to.
He is, by all accounts – and starting with his account – thrilled to be in L.A. and thrilled to be a Dodger, even with his young team fighting to stay around .500. Good for him.
The warm weather is probably nice for his old body. And his young team is seriously underachieving, despite a strong pitching staff, good bullpen, and nucleus of GREAT young offensive players (who usually get benched in favor of veteran stiffs.)
Maybe he will win another World Series there, or two, be as big all over again with the Dodgers as Phil Jackson has become with the Lakers.
Probably not. And how many rings has Phil Jackson won without having the hands-down, unquestionably BEST talent in the game?
How many 'St. Louis Cardinals in 2006, how the fuck did they actually win' championships has Jackson won? Here's a clue. The same number that Torre's won. Fucking zero. Stop sucking their cocks. Winning when you should makes you good. Winning when you shouldn't makes you a legend. Wasn't that your point about the 2008 Giants?
Blah blah blah and some meaningless shit about what a nice guy Joe Torre is, even though I personally called for his fucking head every time the Yankees lost for the last 7 years. Now that he's gone, I feel like waxing poetic about the fucking guy because it's another subtle way to criticize the Yankees while ignoring the $140 Million Dollar tank-job that's happening across town.
Well, he might as well have said it.
I keep waiting for the news that Joba's first start has been declared an instant national sports holiday.
And I keep waiting for the Mets to win a World Championship. You've been waiting a couple of weeks. I've been waiting for over 20 fucking years. So shut the fuck up you pudgy, grey-haired, vertically-challenged little cunt.
Possible reasons the Yankees are 10 games closer this year:
A) The Red Sox aren't out to a 37-17 start.
If you chose D, please slam your face into your computer screen repeatedly. I'll tell you when to stop.
The AL East is better this time around, starting with the Rays.
Did you listen to me? The Red Sox were 37-17 on June 2 last year. The Rays are 35-22. The Rays are not as good as the Sox were last year... and the number of games back is determined solely by relationship to the division leader. So "games back" is probably a shitty way to measure the quality of a division.
If the Mets want to make a run at Kevin Millar sometime this summer, well, that's fine with me.
What? Like if they cut Carlos Degado... and want to replace him with someone who'll give them the EXACT SAME LACK OF PRODUCTION?
Kevin Millar: Age 36. Stats: .236/.330/.379, 8 HR, 26 RBI.
Who's wearing the thong now, Abreu or Cano?
Allow me to rephrase this question.
Who's wearing the thong now, Lupica or Barry Melrose? And what is Jose Reyes going to say when he finds out?
Thursday, May 29, 2008
An Enough-Lupica-Style Fantasy
Just to show how much we love our readers, and that we listen to you guys, and that we're here to entertain and amuse you guys at the expense of people who piss us off, I'm going to delve into the fiction genre with Mark's idea. Plus it's a really cool idea. For the record, the following is an act of fiction and any similarities to events that have happened... or may *cough-hopefully-cough* happen are purely coincidental.
It was a loud, rambunctious night following a Yankee win over the Chicago Cubs in Game 7 of the World Series, and quite a scene was unfolding across the street from the Ballpark in the Bronx at Billy's, as members of the Yankees television and radio broadcast teams came out in public to join in the celebration. The bar was packed to the gills, when suddenly, in through the front door came Daily News Columnist and Short People's Society President Mike Lupica and his Yankee Friends (a blow-up doll in a Red Sox t-shirt and a Teddy Ruxpin bear.) He headed over to the group of Yankee Broadcasters which included Michael Kay, Suzyn Waldman, Ken Singleton, John Flaherty and John Sterling for an impromptu Sports Reporters-style debate.
As the conversation grew louder and louder, with Mike Lupica climbing onto a table so that his child-like person could be both seen, and heard, the bar began to empty. Real Yankee fans spilled out into the streets to continue their celebration away from the nauseating combination of Kool Aid and criticism.
The group continued their discussion, oblivious to the now-empty bar, so oblivious in fact, that they failed to notice the behemoth-like man in head-to-toe black who had just slipped in through the front door, a ski-mask covering his head, a Louisville Slugger in tow.
"A team with a payroll of exactly $209,157,892.77 should win the World Series every year!" proclaimed Lupica, as he stomped angrily on the bar.
"But oh my goodness gracious!! The only thing that could make this night any better was if Roger Clemens were here!" squealed Waldman!
Lupica screamed, "ROGER CLEMENS USES STERO...." but was unable to finish his sentence, as the dark figure had stalked across the room and swung that mighty wooden bat, knocking Lupica off the bar about 70 feet to the back wall like he was a hanging slider.
"Enough is enough...you guys are all hacks" said Lupica's assailant as he began swinging wildly at Michael Kay's oversized head, which exploded much like a watermelon at one of those shitty Gallagher comedy shows.
Ken Singleton tried to flee the scene, but to no avail as the mysterious figure hurled a baseball, hitting him in the back of the neck and killing him with nothing short of a Joba Chamberlain fastball.
Now it was Flaherty's turn, as Waldman and Sterling cowered behind the former major leaguer, but as the black-hooded man bludgeoned Flaherty something terrible happened! The bat broke!!! However would he manage to kill Waldman and Sterling now!?
Alas, not one to be stopped by a mere broken bat, the man lifted Waldman by her ankles and proceeded to beat John Sterling to death with her melon-fucking-head, also killing Waldman.
He then stalked over to Mike Lupica, who was just regaining consciousness, looking up at the man who would surely be his executioner....
"Wh... why... are you... doing... this.... oh, and by the way, what was Jason Giambi really apologizing for anyway? He never said.... uhhhh... ohh... the pain...." mumbled Lupica through his broken jaw.
The figure stood proudly, looking down at Lupica as he pulled off his hood to reveal a familiar face... it was...
BOBBY MURCER!!!
"I did this because a true Yankee can only listen to your bullshit for so long before he's gotta do something about it. I got a fucking tumor from listening to those assholes for all those years!" said Murcer, "But don't worry... you'll live to tell about this."
Murcer then stomped down on Mike Lupica's skull, crushing it under his powerful foot!!
"NOOOOOT!!!" screamed Murcer in his best Borat voice!!
As the last gasp escaped from Lupicas lungs it formed the word, "Hiiiiilllllllllllllllarrrrrryyyyyyyy.....yyy...."
The End....
Monday, May 19, 2008
Bloggin' From The Lip!!
Yup, that's what we're callin' this today! Bloggin' from the Lip! We're gonna shoot down Mike Lupica's fun facts and random comparisons like fish in a barrel! Woo hoo! Aren't you excited? Lets get right to brass tacks gentlemen (and all 3 ladies who are reading this):
Bill Belichick talking about an old video assistant of his named Matt Walsh suddenly sounds like Roger Clemens talking about an old trainer of his named Brian McNamee.
Are you sure Mike? Are you sure he didn't sound like Jason Giambi giving "The Apology"? Or like Andy Pettitte confessing about using a little bit of HGH when he really used a lot? You know who Bill Belichick definitely DOESN'T sound like? Darryl Strawberry and Doc Gooden apologizing for snorting the Mets chance at a dynasty in the late 1980's. Because they never talked about that.
Matt Walsh may not be one of nature's noblemen. Neither was Jose Canseco.
Lupica's entire premise here is to compare Belichick videotaping defensive signals to steroids in baseball. Because everything is about fucking steroids in baseball. Literally everything. Here's an average conversation between Mike Lupica and one of those so-called "friends" he always claims to have.
Imaginary Friend: Hey Mike Lupica!
Mike Lupica: Hi Imaginary Friend!!
IF: So what do you think of those Tampa Bay Rays! In first place! Ha ha!!
ML: Yeah! It's like they're on steroids or something!!
IF: *sigh* Lets talk about something else... you see that Matt Walsh came out of the closet?
ML: Yeah! Just like when Jose Canseco told us about steroids in baseball!!
IF: *bangs head into wall* Yeah... so Hillary still won't drop out of the Democratic primaries...
ML: She's just like Roger Clemens... refusing to admit that he took steroids!
IF: *kills self with imaginary gun*
ML: Dammit! That's the fourteenth imaginary friend this week! They're dropping like baseball players on steroids!!
Now Belichick goes after Walsh the way Clemens went after McNamee, the way Clemens is still after McNamee.
Really? Belichick is suing Walsh for defamation of character? No? Then I guess it's nothing like the way Clemens is going after McNamee.
No one is suggesting that this kind of cheating is as systemic as drug cheating became in baseball over the last 15 years.
No one is suggesting that I go and masturbate on the salad bar at Wendy's either. What's your fucking point? And what's so "systemic" about a bunch of guys taking steroids? Do you think it was some kind of covert operation? Like a Rambo movie? To liberate the Stanozolol from North Vietnam? Hahaha... you can't have Stanozolol without a great big LOL!!
People can bounce Billy Wagner all over town for some of the things he's said in the past and some of the things he said this week.
Oh, you mean because he tore up a teammate for the second time in like 2 weeks? And he's basically got a reputation as the White Gary Sheffield? And that he's throwing teammates under the bus to boost rating for his radio show?
But there is a little bit of Yogi in Wagner, in this way:
No matter how it comes out, you always know exactly what he means.
Umm... what? Fuck... you're really going to defend him again? Seriously?
The bottom line here is that the Mets need more guys like Wagner, not fewer.
More guys like Wagner? I want to help. So here's a list of team-first guys who are currently out of work. I'm sure each of them could help the Mets despite their age and injuries, because it's about personality!
Rickey Henderson, Albert Belle, Carl Everett, Jose Offerman (Once his probation ends), Roger Clemens, John Rocker, Jose Canseco.
That's seven more guys like Wagner. The Mets will never lose again. Unless Albert Belle eats David Wright... then it could get ugly.
Hillary Clinton is no longer running for President, she's running for Vice President.
I really think we're about a week away from learning that Hillary Clinton took steroids. There's no other reason for Lupica to talk about her so much. Look at the guys he talks about: Clemens, Giambi, Pettitte, Isiah Thomas, A-Rod, Hillary Clinton. Steroids, Steroids, Steroids, Crack-Rock, accused of steroids (by Canseco, who might be motivated to lie by money, the fact that A-Rod fucked his wife, etc.), ???
So she took 'roids, right Mike?
It comes out now that Jason Giambi likes to wear a gold thong when he's trying to come out of a hitting slump, and I'm pretty sure Congressman Vito Fossella does the same thing.
Mike? Are you upset that they don't make thongs in your size? I think you are. I think you're just jealous because while Jason Giambi and Vito Fossella get to try on big boy underwear, you're still stuck wearing your Batman Underoos.
But yeah... the thong story was a little weird. Especially that he shares it with other guys. I don't share a TAXI with other guys...
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
What Did I Miss While On Vacation?
I'm assuming Lupica wrote a great article about Mariano, having 10 saves and still hasn't given up a run.
Or something about Cano, starting to hit again.
Maybe something about Rasner, a young pitcher finally coming through for the Yankees?
Let's see...
Sunday, May 4th - "Yankee Stadium Prices Are Insane!"
Tuesday, May 6th - "Rocket throws a curve, but we need one right down the middle"
Saturday, May 10th - "For Andy Pettitte, No Clear Sailing"
Sunday, May 11th - "Mike D'Antoni has stiff task ahead leading Isiah Thomas' stiffs"
To recap...SAME OLD BULLSHIT.
Yankee prices, Roger Clemens, Andy Pettitte, and Isiah Thomas...holy shit!
And, what a surprise - NOTHING ABOUT SPORTS.
Let's tackle this one smelly turd at a time...
May 4th
There is a guy I know who has tickets behind the Yankee dugout, has had them for awhile.
Lupica poetry at its finest.
Last season each seat cost $150 per game. This season, because it is the last season at the old Yankee Stadium, the cost went up to $250.
"I told my friends who are going this season, ‘Enjoy yourselves, because you'll never be this close again,'" my friend said Saturday.
First of all, and I've said this before, no self-respecting Yankee fan would ever talk to low life Lupica.
So Lupica, is this the same "friend" who said this in December?
"The Yankees will never rebuild from within until this Steinbrenner is suspended."
Remember that article, when you bashed the Yanks for considering breaking the bank for Santana?
What happened? Oh right - the METS broke the bank for Santana, in a deal the "Mets had to close".
Way to be in touch with Yankee fans, Mike. Your "friend" is just as retarded as you are.
Where is the article about the Mets ripping off their fans?
Oh, here it is! Except it's not from Phil Mushnick, not Lupica.
Surprise.
You wonder why Yankee fans don't care what Johan Santana or anybody else on the field costs?
Um, because Johan Santana is a Met?
Next week The Today Show is going to do a week-long series called, "Where in the world is Robinson Cano?"
Since May 4th...
Robinson Cano .364 BA, 2 HR, 4 RBI
Jose Reyes .222 BA, 0 HR, 3 RBI
Well, we know where Robinson Cano has been.
Where has Reyes been? Lupica's bed perhaps?
May 6th
"I have apologized to my family and apologize to my fans," Clemens continued, and right there you wanted to ask him what exactly he was apologizing for, but by now it's clear that he doesn't do well with any kind of cross-examination once he's given his name.
No, I'm not gonna defend Clemens. He's got issues. Issues that Lupica feels necessary to point out in every goddamn column he writes. It's old to everyone taller than 5'-6".
This is the kind of apology that Jason Giambi originally gave when his testimony about using steroids, offered in front of the BALCO grand jury, was leaked to a newspaper.
Here we go again with the Giambi apology.
EVERYONE EXCEPT FOR LUPIDICK KNOWS WHY HE APOLOGIZED.
Get over it Mikey!!!
You should be asking why the fuck did the Mets re-sign Mota after testing positive for steroids! We're still waiting for that article!
Giambi sat there at Yankee Stadium with Joe Torre and Brian Cashman and he apologized that day, even though he never said for what, once you could see how broken up he was about being a "distraction" to his teammates.
Step away from reality TV and PLEASE start reporting on SPORTS, not non-sports related shit that happened 5 years ago!
May 10th
I'm just going to assume that since Yankee announcers think Joba's dance moves are swell after a strikeout they'll keep themselves under control the next time Manny Ramirez poses after a home run as if he's in a photo shoot for Annie Leibowitz.
Did everyone notice when Joba threw near Youkilis' head last year, the Dick said it was "bush league?"
And when Farnsworth threw behind Manny's head a couple of weeks ago, Lupica shit all over the Yankees for it?
What has he said in the past about Manny standing at home plate, admiring his home runs?
"Good news at the Stadium! The last one Manny hit off Mussina just landed underneath the Avis sign in left."
Manny has been showboating since forever, and you have never called him out on it.
Jeez, does an athlete have to play in New York for you to shit all over him?
How about giving props to players instead of "reporting" on the same tired themes, Mike? Fuck, I even get email from Mets fans who hate you!
And who the FUCK is Annie Leibowitz?!
Get your fucking head out of your ass, or get the fuck out of New York. You are a miserable little tool who has no fans, no friends, and no life.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
The difference between the Yankees and Red Sox
Welcome back, Lupica haters!
You knew it wouldn't be long until Lupicock would start crying about Yankee payroll, since they committed the ultimate sin by signing players!
The evil Empire strikes again!!!!
The Yankees have already spent $400 million the past few weeks and you know what that means, right?
It means 400 million will replace 200 million as the most overused number in Mike's weekly piece of shit article?
They're ready to spend more!
I’ll laugh my ass off if the Red Sox make the deal for Santana.
Lupica won’t say anything about it, except how much of a “magician” Theo Epstein is.
They're ready to break the bank for Johan Santana and thereby go against all the data on signing starting pitchers to longterm deals.
Right – and I remember when you wrote that article slamming the Red Sox for breaking the bank for Dice K.
Haha, just kidding. You never wrote that article.
$51 million just to talk to him.
Please.
Why?
Because they want him.
Genius.
Why else?
Because the Red Sox do.
So again, why slam just the Yankees? Why not lump the Red Sox in too? What happens if the Red Sox get him? Will you just ignore it, like every other time you’ve fucked up with your stupid assumptions?
Why won't Santana break down sometime during the length of his contract?
Because he's going to be a Yankee, that's why.
Yes, let’s assume every player who gets a longterm contract is gonna break down. That’s why your Mets didn’t go after Vlad Guerrero. How’d that work out for your Flushing bitches?
You want to know why the Yankees lose money on their baseball operation despite drawing 4 million fans a year to Yankee Stadium, why they need to be propped up by their network?
Now Mike is concerned the Yankees lost money this season? Aww, thanks Mike! Who knew you cared, ya filthy midget fuck!
Because of an offseason like this, when they are prepared to spend half-a-billion dollars on four baseball players:
A-Rod.
Posada.
Rivera.
Santana.
Three of those four are Hall of Famers, and two of those four are in their prime.
I know they’re not as good as, say, Brian Schneider and Ryan Church (for Lastings Milledge HAHA!!!) but they aren’t exactly chopped liver.
By the way, didn’t the Mets look into trying to get Santana and Posada?
Didn’t Mets fans have visions of Arod in that putrid blue and orange uniform?
If the Mets had any money or any players worth trading, they could have made all these deals too. And you would have loved it.
Johan Santana is a great pitcher, no doubt.
So SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY.
He isn't the Bionic Man just because the Yankees want him, and the Red Sox might get him.
See? There’s a difference – the Yankees want him, the Red Sox only might get him.
Red Sox, good…Yankees, BAD!!!
I've got a friend I write about sometimes,
Bullshit. You have no friends.
called Sweeney the Yankee Guy.
Sounds like a douche.
He sent me this e-mail the other day, when he found out what the Yankees were willing to give up in young guys for Santana:
Again, look at what the Red Sox are willing to give up, you stupid dick!
"The Yankees will never rebuild from within until this Steinbrenner is suspended."
Ask your retard of a “friend” when was the last time the Yankees starting pitching staff was made up of 3 to 5 homegrown guys? Wang, Joba, Kennedy, Hughes, and if you want to add Pettitte, that’s FIVE. If you take out Pettitte and Hughes, that’s still THREE.
That’s not building from within?
Your “friend” is an asshole.
And so are you Mike.
