Lupica Tries (And Fails) To Get In Rivera's Pants

So the All Star game is finally upon us, and Lupica takes the opportunity to shit on the occasion, and to praise the only real closer in this town - Mariano Rivera.

We will make this more than it is this week at Yankee Stadium,

Three reasons why Lupica is annoyed by the All Star game getting overhyped:

1. It's a feel good story
2. It's actually about sports
3. It doesn’t involve ARod and Madonna

the last All-Star Game in the place, maybe the last great baseball occasion in the place if the Yankees don't find a way to make the playoffs this season.

By my calculations, there are at least 32 more great baseball occasions scheduled in Yankee Stadium - they are called games.

All the way until the last out Tuesday night, we will hype this up as if it were the Super Bowl of All-Star Games, or the Olympics, because it is the Stadium and it is the Yankees and it is New York and it is, after all, what we do here.

Considering most All Star games take place in new stadiums, it will be a refreshing change to hype up the stadium due to all its history.

We will, to the end, continue to call this The House That Ruth Built, even though it is not, it is not Babe Ruth's Yankee Stadium, not the one he saw from home plate or Joe DiMaggio saw or Yogi or The Mick.

Wrong. It is the same stadium. A facelift does not mean its not the same stadium. It's like when you wear lifts in your shoes - you may look different, but you are still the same asshole.

But there is one player who will participate in this game Tuesday night who does not have to be hyped up as he stands with one last collection of baseball stars and the baseball ghosts of this Stadium and the one before it that Derek Jeter is always talking about. And that player is No. 42 of the Yankees, the last player to wear Jackie Robinson's number in baseball:

Mariano Rivera.

Mo.

Well it certainly isn't Billy Wagner.

Fuck, Joes Reyes wasn’t even invited.

The beauty of baseball and the beauty of sports is that there is always a debate about this giant of the sport or that.

Or who is hanging out with Madonna.

Some will say that Ruth will always be the biggest player of them all, has to be, just because of the distance he put between himself and the rest of the field when he seemed to invent the home run in baseball at the same time he was inventing the Yankees.

Until someone can overpower the league with their hitting as well as their pitching, it will be Ruth. It was stupid for you to even compare Rivera to Ruth.

But there will be others who say that the best player of them all was the great Henry Aaron or Willie Mays and maybe someday - if he ends up getting enough rest to hit 800 home runs - some will say that Alex Rodriguez, Mr. Fun, was the best ballplayer of them all.

Mr. Fun?

As in, "opposite of Mike Lupica"?

Nevermind; that would be "Mr. Tall".

God forbid Lupica writes an article without taking a swipe at ARod.

He hasn't always been perfect,

Now Lupica is gonna remind us of Rivera's fuck ups? Gee, no one saw that coming.

because no one is, so there was the night when Sandy Alomar Jr. beat him in a game in the first round and helped knock the Yankees out and there was the bottom of the ninth in Game 7 against the Diamondbacks and there was the worst night of all, for him and his team, when he couldn't get the last three outs he needed against the Red Sox, Game 4 of '04, and keep the Red Sox down against the Yankees, where they had always been.

How is blowing game 4 in the 2004 in the ALCS, with a 3 games to 1 lead, worse than blowing game 7 in the 2001 world series?

Jeez, we still had 3 more chances in 2004; in 2001, that was it.

It does not change his standing, or his rank.

But, just for shits and giggles, Lupica had to bring it up anyway.

When he does come through the bullpen doors tomorrow night, whenever they play "Enter Sandman," when the place goes wild for him once more, understand something:
In this Yankee Stadium, in the rebuilt Stadium and not the one Ruth built,

Did I forget to mention that Ruth didn't build this version of the stadium?

He didn't really build the first version of it either; it was…laborers!!!

the man running toward the pitching mound is the greatest Yankee of them all.

I really feel Lupica wrote this to set fans up for a big let down, with Mike keeping his fingers crossed that Rivera would blow the lead.

Too bad it was Crapplebon and Wagner who both contracted a bad case of SUCK during the game last night.