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Sunday, April 15, 2007

Imus, Crappelbon, Pavano, the usual Yankee bashing crap

One down, two to go!

Now that Mike's coke buddy Imus got the boot from radio, we'll no longer have to hear him over the airwaves - thank god!

Now we just have to figure out a way to get him off TV and out of the newspapers.

This week's worthless piece of crap article by Lupica is all about the cokehead Imus and how the whole apology should have been between Imus and the Rutgers basketball team.

Did Imus get screwed? Yes.

Do I care? HELL NO!

Anything that's bad for Lupica is GOOD for me and good for the Yankees.

Imus had lost his career, at least for now.

Poor Mike - now he can't hear himself come across like a skirt-wearing jackass on the radio.

It was just one more part of this that was all wrong.

On the contrary, Mike - I did a little happy dance, knowing that your connection to the airwaves was cut off like Corzine racing to Imus' suck up session with Rutgers.

No one found his statements acceptable. No one will forget what happened

No one will care a week later, which is basically the case right now.

..and also includes a firing that never should have happened, and solves nothing...
Actually, it solves TWO things -

1. Getting that no-talent corpse Imus off the air, and
2. Getting YOU off the air.

We're all taught as kids to answer bad talk with good talk.

Actually, I was taught "If you dont have anything nice to say, dont say it at all"

I just start websites where I say nasty shit.

The bottom line is this - Imus was a no-talent, and Lupica kissed his ass on the radio and in his piece of crap Sunday column.

That says a lot about the great Mike Lupica.


There are some nights when a Billy Wagner ninth inning is more exciting than the last five minutes of '24'

Translation : "I'm too much of a loser to give Mariano Rivera any props".

If you watched Jonathan Papelbon of the Red Sox come out of the bullpen against the Texas Rangers last Sunday night on ESPN, you saw one of the most dominating efforts by a closer you're going to see all season.

Yeah, and if Lupica bothered to mention Opening Day at Yankee Stadium, he could have commented on Rivera striking out the side in the 9th inning.

I think Lupica spent that day getting high on Jose Reyes dirty jock strap, instead of reporting on the Yankees.

You know, the team that OWNS New York?

Well, you could have picked me up off the floor when I found out Pavano was getting pushed back a couple of days with a sore arm.

I'd love to comment on this blurb, but I'm in too much shock...Lupica wrote about Pavano...AGAIN!?!?

How on the money was I with the Carl Pavano joke book?

Get used to it people - we are gonna be reading this shit ALL SEASON.

Sometimes my hamstrings get tight just watching the Yankees play.

Oh, HAHAHAHA I get it!

And sometimes people have the following reaction from reading Mike's column...

Where were the props for ARod?

Oh thats right - Mike cant say anything good about the Yankees.

Just wait until ARod goes hitless in 2 games.

Mike will mention that, and ARod's relationship with Jeter, ARod's fielding, etc, you know, the usual Lupica bullshit slams on the Yankees.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Opening Day at Shea - Who Cares?

What an exciting day in Flushing - it was Opening Day yesterday, and 55,000 poor confused souls sat in traffic for 3+ hours to watch the Mets raise their "Almost NL Champions!" banner - right next to those two lonely 1986 and 1969 championship banners.

What a great day in that dump they call Shea.

And, fortunately for us, our favorite midget Mike Lupica was there to cover the scene.He talked about how Keith Hernandez came in to throw out the first pitch.

Once he was as big a baseball star as the Mets have had, for one of the most entertaining teams in all of New York baseball history.

If by "entertaining" he meant "underachieving", then yes, the 80's Mets were VERY entertaining.

That was quite a run the 80's Mets had...how many titles did they win? Two? Three?

Oh right - it was one...barely.

Good day to be a Mets fan. Good time to be a Met. Old or new.

You know why its a good time to be a Met or a Met fan?

Because its April.

Not October, where the Mets finished out of first place 18 of the last 19 years.

That's only one better than the Devil Rays - congratulations Mets fans!

I'm curious Mike - where was your article about Opening Day at Yankee Stadium?

You never wrote one.

I guess there were no good storylines at Yankee Stadium that day.

They only had the family of the late Cory Lidle out there, with his young son throwing the ball in - not a retired ballplayer like Hernandez.

They only had Jason Giambi, who you constantly bash, providing emotional support for the family of his deceased friend.

They only had Bobby Murcer, his first time back since chemotherapy - not a super cool mascot like Mr. Met.

They only had ARod, the star in the soap opera you cant let go of, singlehandedly manufacture the go-ahead run later in the game and hit a 2 run bomb to win the game and win back Yankee fans.

I guess since the Yankees had nothing special going on at their Opening Day, you decided to ignore it.

Either that, or Yankee Stadium security kicked your sorry ass out.

I'm guessing the latter.

Sunday, April 8, 2007

Mike Lupica drowns in Mets Kool Aid

Holy Christ Mike, put down the Mets Kool Aid before you go into some sort of sugar shock.

This week, Mike talks about how the Mets are going to be going toe-to-toe with the Yankees from now on, because the Mets are going to have a shiny new stadium!

Shea sometimes feels as old as dirt. It is the Mets who feel new all over again, even as their new ballpark is built in front of our eyes, on the edges of this season. The Yankees will have their own new ballpark by then. But it will not be Yankee Stadium and they will not draw 4 million anymore. The Mets will draw as big as the Yankees draw when both new parks are open, and will go toe-to-toe with them from now on.

Yes people - the Mets new "Citi Field" (pronounced "Shitty Field") will somehow magically put the Mets in the same league as the Yankees.

Apparently, Yankees fans will stop going to Yankees games because it will no longer be "Yankee Stadium".

And the Mets will draw as many people as the Yankees, because of that new stadium, and because their super cool mascot, Mr. Met, will be there too!

Why people will FLOCK to Shitty Field

Nobody can win the past with the Yankees. The Red Sox can't, the Mets can't, no one can.

Good for you Mike! The first step to recovery is being able to admit you have a problem.

But this is a fair fight between the Yankees and Mets from now on.

Easy, Mikey.

You had a taste of the post season after completely SUCKING for five years. (You wanna talk about payroll? How'd that National League top payroll work out for the Mets in 2005? 3rd place. 2004? Last place. 2003? Last place.)

Come back to us when the Mets actually WIN a world series.

I'll even take a NL pennant, just because I'm a nice guy.

And because you are so pathetic in your desperation.

The Yankees aren't going to dominate baseball ever again the way they did between 1996 and 2000.

Right - because history proves the Yankees never had the ability to dominate.

Well, except for the late '70s.

And early '60s. And there was that stretch in the '50s. And the late '40's.

Late '30s and '20s too.

Other than those times, the Yankees never dominated. And we shouldn't expect them to dominate ever again.

Even with the age we always hear about on their pitching staff, even with 40-year-old Moises Alou playing left and old Valentin at second, there is still something fresh and new to the Mets

Fresh and new?

Could it be the World Series trophy?

Haha, no, that can't be it.

Could it be Billy (We Are Gonna Need Extra Runs) Wagner?

Haha, I don't think so.

Could it be the emergence of Reyes and Wright?


I know what it is - it's Paul LoDuca's posse of underaged girlfriends!

Fresh and new indeed.

It is only the first week. The Mets make us pay attention to them already, as they try to come out of the blocks this season the way they did last season. That was an amazing series against the Cardinals in St. Louis, even if it didn't make up for Yadier Molina. The Braves' series started with that beatdown Friday night.

The Braves series started with a win, and ended with 2 losses.

Fresh and new?

Sounds more like "same old, same old" to me.

There will be almost daily speculation about Roger Clemens, as if the Stadium will fall down before Shea does if the Yankees don't somehow sign a pitcher who will turn 45 this season, one who walked away from them nearly four years ago.

The only one who has been speculating about Clemens for the past year has been YOU.

Time to move on Mike.

Maybe it will be this way for the Mets someday, after they have won a World Series or two.

Mike, they've been around for over 40 years and have a grand total of TWO World Series titles.

Get over this fact - the Mets will never be on the same level as the Yankees.


Lets see the Mets match the quality of the Braves last decade first.

Hell, catch up to the success of the friggin Marlins first before you try comparing the Mets to the Yankees.

Get your head out of your ass - one division title does not make a team.

And a poorly named new stadium isnt going to help.

Pass on the Kool Aid Mike - you've had enough.


How do I get some kind of reprieve from the daily A-Rod clutch-hitting watch?

You have two choices: turn off the TV or watch him as he destroys the league.

It's not rocket science.

Just because he is light years better than your boyfriend Reyes doesnt mean you cant enjoy watching him.

You think Carlos Beltran, even at $100 million, is looking like more and more of a bargain to the pinstripers?

I dont know, last October he looked more and more like a statue.

Happy Birthday today to my point guard, Zach Lupica, age 15. Everybody always says you can't measure heart. You keep showing everybody.

SHADDAP!!! No one gives a rat's ass.

Sunday, April 1, 2007

Steinbrenner, ARod AGAIN, fawning over Reyes...AGAIN

Happy April Fools Day everyone! Let's kick the day off right by slamming New York's biggest fool, Mike Lupica.

This week's Shooting From The Lip is all about how Steve Swindal is most likely getting the boot from the Yankees family and the person next in line after George Steinbrenner COULD be like James Dolan.

...if it is a member of the Steinbrenner family who eventually has the final say around the Yankees, no one knows if they will turn out to be some kind of first-rate sportsman and businessman.

Or if the Yankees might end up with their very own Dolan.

Yes, people, it took this pencil neck turd a week to come up with an article about something that COULD happen.

Not something that WOULD happen or DID happen.

A week's pay for writing about a hypothetical question.

So this is where we are with the Yankees, where they try to turn "King Lear" into some kind of modern reality TV show

Really, is this the best he can come up with? Total crap, just to piss off Yankees fans?

Oh sure, it COULD happen, but not likely, considering there is no one in sports who is as stupid as James Dolan.

Thanks for the informative article, Mike.


When people started calling Alex Rodriguez a "great" third baseman a couple of years ago, I always wondered, relative to what?

This comes from a guy who once said this...

A-Rod is having a wonderful season, and might end up MVP of the American League, even if David Ortiz has clearly been the MVP in the season played so far

Ortiz, MVP?

Is it just me, or dont you think the Most Valuable Player should own, oh, I don't know, a GLOVE?

So a guy plays for about a total of 5 minutes a night on offense and its ok to call him an MVP, but dont you DARE call a converted gold-glove winning shortstop to third base during an MVP season "great".

Shame on you, Yankees fans.

I was reminded during an idle hour the other afternoon that "Spin City" is still one of the most underrated sitcoms of all time.

And reminded again how brilliant Michael J. Fox was in it.

Very valuable information.

Just like everything else Mike writes about - worthless crap.

I think Mike took a ride on the Larry King Bus Of Stupidity.

And the moment we've all been waiting for...yes, its the Weekly Mets Ass Kissing Comment...

You know the best part about the Mets having a game tonight?

It means Jose Reyes is back in season.

This is a wonderful time to be a New York baseball fan.

There are so many players to watch, and so many of them are great players, and some of those great players have a lot of World Series rings.

I would rather watch Reyes play baseball than any of them.

Jesus Christ Mike, keep it in your pants!

I hope you are enjoying his 1 for 4 night and getting doubled up off first on a line drive as much as I am.

How about that baserunning on the error out in left field? Wasn't that exciting, watching Reyes jog to first, expecting to be out?

And how about getting picked off first in the 9th inning?

Fascinating player, that Reyes!