We love the Yankees. We hate Mike Lupica.
Let us know how much you hate him!
Let Mike Lupica know, too!

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Let's Salute Baseball Fans

Question: What do you get when you get high-fived by a midget?
Answer: A giant smack in the balls.

This one is for the baseball fans of New York City, who keep coming no matter what

Tell me, in what city have fans decided to stop coming to games?

who sometimes are even a bigger story than the teams they come to watch.

Like the stupid Mets fans, who still think they are a great team.

Everybody talks about the 1950s in New York…

I know what you’re saying! I mean, on Christmas Eve at the in-laws, all everyone talked about was the 1950’s in New York! I kinda felt bad for all the other decades that were left out of the conversation.

At one point I even said “that reminds me about this one time in the 1940’s…”

All I got were dirty looks.

You want to pick the real Sportsman of the Year in New York? It is those eight million strong, men and women and children.

They stayed with their teams until the very end

Uh oh…I sense a small diss regarding the historical collapse of the playoff-less 2007 Mets, and a book about the failures of the Yankees.

stayed even past that dreadful first inning from Tom Glavine on that last Sunday at Shea Stadium, stayed as the inevitable for the Mets — everything that had been happening for the past 16 games - became truly inevitable against the Marlins.

So many Mets fans stayed all the way until the bitter end, and there had never been a baseball ending this bitter for a New York team, at least not since the Dodgers finally blew it all to the Giants in 1951.

But you wouldn’t know it from reading Lupica’s column, considering he chalked up the collapse to “bad luck”, not “bad team”.

The Yankees did better than the Mets

Wow, that had to hurt.

At least it sounds like Loopy is going to at least acknowledge the Yankees amazing comeback from an awful first half.

Or Arod’s amazing season.

Or the emergence of Joba.

then couldn’t get past the first round of the playoffs again, couldn’t get past the first round for the third year in a row, couldn’t win one round with another $200 million team.

So instead of talking about the best comeback this city has seen in years, we get the same bullshit about first round exits and $200 million payroll.

How many years do you think Lupica would get if plagiarizing yourself was illegal?

In Boston they are now convinced that Fenway Park, the scene of an amazing celebration of baseball for every home game the Red Sox play, has now become the de facto capital of the sport. The Red Sox have now won two World Series since 2004, won two since the Yankees won their last in 2000 and seem set up to win more than that over the next few years.

Wow, when I read the first sentence of this article (“This one is for the baseball fans of New York City”) I kind of assumed it would be an article about the baseball fans of New York City.

Anyone think Lupica mentioned how many more World Series the Marlins had won than the Mets in 2003, since the Mets last won in 1986?

No, but I bet the number 200 million was mentioned at least twice in that 2003 October article.

So it was not just the history of this rivalry that changed after the Yankees were ahead 3-0 in the American League Championship Series of ’04, it was the current history of baseball. It is one reason that Hank Steinbrenner has come out of the gate spending money like this, spending as much in any offseason as the old man ever did, would be willing to spend more on Johan Santana. He wants to take something back from the Red Sox.

Seriously, can this asshole EVER write ANYTHING positive about a team that has made the postseason THIRTEEN FUCKING YEARS IN A ROW!?

Saluting baseball fans in New York City?!

Thanks Mike.

Just kick us in the nuts next time.

They sell out the whole season in Boston.

Under 39,000 seats and the only baseball team in town? How is this worth mentioning?

They sell the tickets they sell and would probably sell as many as the Yankees if they had a ballpark as big as the old Yankee Stadium, or the new one.

“Sell…sell…sell!?!?” Ever see “Marathon Man”?

Their teams break their hearts - and, in the case of the 2007 Mets, their legs, too - and they keep coming.

Um, you forgot to mention the 2006 Mets.
The 2005 Mets.
The 2004 Mets.

Oh fuck it, all TWENTY (!!!) Mets teams since 1986.

Is it time to say $200 million again, Mike?

The Sportsman of the Year isn’t A-Rod. It’s the people who watch him play. And pay his salary. This one is for them.

Once again, thanks Mike, we appreciate the compliment.

By “compliment”, I mean “smack in the balls”.

* * *

Just hearing George Carlin on Imus the other week with his unique - and screamingly funny - take on steroids in baseball has me ready for his next HBO special already.

OH hahhaha that old bag Imus sure is funny…

Did they give their take on their overdoses of cocaine and booze too?

If I were the people making the decision for the Mets about who should work with Howie Rose on radio next season, the star search would end with a great young guy named Jon Schiambi, whom I first heard doing Marlins games.

And thanks for the great insight on WHY you would hire him.

Way to expand on your opinion. Dick.

Whenever we go more than few days without hearing from Hank Steinbrenner, I just assume he forgot to get his flu shot.

Oh hahaha! I see you still suscribe to the Imus “book of humor”, which states “being funny is optional’.

Happy New Year.

Fuck you, midget.

Sunday, December 2, 2007

The difference between the Yankees and Red Sox

Welcome back, Lupica haters!

You knew it wouldn't be long until Lupicock would start crying about Yankee payroll, since they committed the ultimate sin by signing players!

The evil Empire strikes again!!!!

The Yankees have already spent $400 million the past few weeks and you know what that means, right?

It means 400 million will replace 200 million as the most overused number in Mike's weekly piece of shit article?

They're ready to spend more!

I’ll laugh my ass off if the Red Sox make the deal for Santana.

Lupica won’t say anything about it, except how much of a “magician” Theo Epstein is.

They're ready to break the bank for Johan Santana and thereby go against all the data on signing starting pitchers to longterm deals.

Right – and I remember when you wrote that article slamming the Red Sox for breaking the bank for Dice K.

Haha, just kidding. You never wrote that article.

$51 million just to talk to him.



Because they want him.


Why else?

Because the Red Sox do.

So again, why slam just the Yankees? Why not lump the Red Sox in too? What happens if the Red Sox get him? Will you just ignore it, like every other time you’ve fucked up with your stupid assumptions?

Why won't Santana break down sometime during the length of his contract?

Because he's going to be a Yankee, that's why.

Yes, let’s assume every player who gets a longterm contract is gonna break down. That’s why your Mets didn’t go after Vlad Guerrero. How’d that work out for your Flushing bitches?

You want to know why the Yankees lose money on their baseball operation despite drawing 4 million fans a year to Yankee Stadium, why they need to be propped up by their network?

Now Mike is concerned the Yankees lost money this season? Aww, thanks Mike! Who knew you cared, ya filthy midget fuck!

Because of an offseason like this, when they are prepared to spend half-a-billion dollars on four baseball players:


Three of those four are Hall of Famers, and two of those four are in their prime.

I know they’re not as good as, say, Brian Schneider and Ryan Church (for Lastings Milledge HAHA!!!) but they aren’t exactly chopped liver.

By the way, didn’t the Mets look into trying to get Santana and Posada?

Didn’t Mets fans have visions of Arod in that putrid blue and orange uniform?

If the Mets had any money or any players worth trading, they could have made all these deals too. And you would have loved it.

Johan Santana is a great pitcher, no doubt.


He isn't the Bionic Man just because the Yankees want him, and the Red Sox might get him.
See? There’s a difference – the Yankees want him, the Red Sox only might get him.

Red Sox, good…Yankees, BAD!!!

I've got a friend I write about sometimes,

Bullshit. You have no friends.

called Sweeney the Yankee Guy.

Sounds like a douche.

He sent me this e-mail the other day, when he found out what the Yankees were willing to give up in young guys for Santana:

Again, look at what the Red Sox are willing to give up, you stupid dick!

"The Yankees will never rebuild from within until this Steinbrenner is suspended."

Ask your retard of a “friend” when was the last time the Yankees starting pitching staff was made up of 3 to 5 homegrown guys? Wang, Joba, Kennedy, Hughes, and if you want to add Pettitte, that’s FIVE. If you take out Pettitte and Hughes, that’s still THREE.

That’s not building from within?

Your “friend” is an asshole.

And so are you Mike.