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Sunday, February 24, 2008

Stop The Presses!!! Yankee Employees Expected To Do Their Job!!!

So here we are, a week or so after pitchers and catchers showed up for Spring Training, a month or so away from Opening Day, the last season ever for Yankee Stadium, and even that shit hole Shea Stadium, everyone is excited for the season, and what do we get from Lupica?

More fucking whiny bullshit.

What is the problem with this miserable little troll?

Is he upset because Reyes won’t swallow?

Is he sad that Johan isn’t into foreplay?

Am I bringing his wife home too late on the weekends?

Mike, lighten up – your undersized heart is gonna give up on your undersized body with all that misery.

This week, Mike cries about Hank, and how he is so much like his father (you know, always wanting to get the best players on his team, always wanting to win, etc…what a jerk!).

We already know that Hank Steinbrenner has inherited the spending gene from his father.

Yes, because he paid $151 million for Johan Santana…oh wait, that was the Mets.

Perhaps the strongest pull of heredity involves the area that was always George Steinbrenner's strong suit, at least back in the day:

Second-guessing his Baseball People.

Because when one of your employees fucks up, they shouldn’t be held accountable. Right Mike?

If you don't believe that, ask Brian Cashman sometime how often he heard the name "David Ortiz" after the Red Sox got him from the Twins and he turned into a Boston baseball legend known as "Papi."

George wanted Ortiz, Cashman wanted Giambi. Cashman, the GM, got who he wanted, and everyone knows how that deal turned out.

Who should be held responsible Mike? Fucking numb nuts.

So if Santana, another ex-Twin, the one the Mets finally got for a bag of balls,

A $151 million bag of balls…

pitches the Mets to the World Series this season,

Yes, the Mets plan on having Johan start every game of the season…and post-season.

pitches them all the way to the Canyon of Heroes, Hank has made it pretty clear that it won't be his fault.

It will be Cashman's.

Since that is the job of the GM, then yes, it will be Cashman’s fault.Is this hard to comprehend?

"Hopefully, (trading for Santana) is not a move we should have made that I'm going to be ticked off about," Hank Steinbrenner told the Daily News.

"If Santana could have made the difference for us and the young pitchers aren't ready, people have to be held accountable," Hank Steinbrenner told Newsday.

Those aren't just predictable quotes from a Steinbrenner, they're practically like a home movie.

These should be predictable quotes from any owner who is concerned with this thing called winning.

But since Lupica is a little miserable bitch, he had to turn this non-story into an article.

But here's a question: If Hank Steinbrenner thought Johan Santana was worth the money and the prospects, why didn't he overrule Cashman and tell him to go make the deal?

Maybe he depends on his GM to make baseball decisions. And if his GM made a bad decision, then he should be held accountable. What the fuck don’t you get Mike? Is this some crazy story that just had to be acknowledged? Stop the presses! Hank thinks his employees should be held accountable for their actions!!!

If only the Daily News felt this way, maybe we wouldn’t have to be exposed to any more of Lupica’s bullshit.

When Hank decided that all was forgiven with Alex Rodriguez and that he wanted to give A-Rod a contract that will eventually be worth $300 million, who stopped him?

That was strictly a MONEY DECISION, douche bag! And it’s Hank’s money to spend, ya dope.

Jeez Mike you are so fucking dumb.

Hank threw money at A-Rod and nobody got in his way, he did it with Posada, he did it with Rivera, even though it is fair, no matter how much you admire the last two guys, to wonder what kind of bang Hank is going to get on his buck at the back end of their deals.

Once again, it was a money decision. Did they have to trade away Kennedy or Hughes to keep Mo or Jorge?


Nice job comprehending, Lupicock.

Hank could have told Cashman to make the deal, thrown money at Johan Santana the way he did everybody else he wanted during this baseball winter, taken even a Yankee payroll to dizzying new heights.

See, asshole? It wasn’t just about the money for the Yankees. It was parting ways with Hughes and/or Kennedy.

By the way, a few weeks ago, you said Santana wasn’t worth $150 million.

The Mets gave him MORE THAN THAT and you said it was a deal the Mets had to make.

What are you going to say when Johan starts landing on the DL?

Are you gonna start ripping him and the Mets like you did with the Yankees and Pavano? Or are you gonna keep reminding us of the Yankees payroll and your wet dreams about Reyes?

* * *

If Shaq and his new team are playing on television, I'm watching that game.

You mean you’ll be able to stop watching bad reality tv shows to watch sports?

Wow, how professional of you. The Daily News must be so proud.

I love it when people talk about the Knicks' lack of effort and then don't talk about their coach.

Yes, we know, Mike. You are the only sports reporter who talks about how bad Isiah Thomas is.

I’m just kidding. Everyone talks about how bad he is.

YOU are the only tool to mention it in every fucking article you write though.

Because it is the worst thing you can say about any coach in sports, that his team doesn't try hard enough.

We spend so much time talking about this dysfunctional team - if it's as talented as I keep hearing, how come nobody else in the league wants any of Isiah's players?

Who are these sports geniuses you are talking to? Is it your “friends”, who think the Knicks are talented? Are these same same assholes who told you it was a stupid idea for the Giants to keep Tom Coughlin?

Wasn't SpyGate supposed to have gone away by now?

This coming from a guy whose list of recent articles looks like this:

This asshole writes about steroids on a daily basis (after writing about the Yankees payroll on a daily basis for 8 straight fucking years) and now he’s crying about SpyGate?

What a fuck.

I want to let bygones be bygones with Andy Pettitte,

…but then you would have to write articles about actual sports?

but the idea that anybody would use HGH a couple of times is like thinking you can take antibiotics for one day and not be sick anymore.

Right. Since he’s a Yankee, he cant be trusted, right Mike?

Please retire, and go do something you are really good at, like being short and miserable.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Congratulations NEW YORK GIANTS!

"Maybe somebody needs to tell Tom Coughlin that he has absolutely no chance of keeping his job, and that bringing him back was the dumbest idea since 'Temptation Island.'" - Mike Lupica, October 7th, 2007

UPDATED February 2, 2008

"Oh my, that Tom Brady is such a strapping young man......he's no Jose Reyes though!"

The City's Best Teams, Santana Spin, and the End Of Lisa Olson!

How much bullshit can you handle…in one week?

1.29.08 - With Win Over Patriots, Giants Can Become City’s Best Champions

Ok, so if the Giants beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl, they will be remembered as a great team from NYC. I agree with that.

But look at the other “great” teams that Asshole Lupica refers to…and guess which team is conveniently missing?

…They go right to the top of the list with the '69 Mets …

The very first fucking team Lupica mentions, the city’s “best champions”, is the ’69 Mets!?!?
I can’t even make this shit up. What an utter tool.

But wait, it gets better…

…Joe Namath and Willis Reed, anything you want to talk about all the way back to Bobby Thomson.

OK now that’s more like it. Teams that will be remembered. Teams that were the city’s best champions.

Now let’s see what Yankees teams the little prick mentions…

The Rangers weren't magic because they beat Vancouver in the Stanley Cup Finals, it was because of 1940, and the way they had come back against the Devils.

The 1994 Rangers were awesome. No doubt.

So how about them Yankees? 26 titles? ONE of those teams had to become one of the city’s best champions, right?

The '86 Mets came back, too. They were also the best team that year.

Ok I agree, the Mets in ’86 were great, even though they barely won ONE championship.

So Mike, how about one of those Yankees teams?

Unreal. The little fuck doesn’t mention ONE Yankee team. Shock.

What a total dick.

1.30.08 - After long winter, Omar Minaya finally bowls over Twins

Anyone remember a few weeks ago, when the Yankees were still the favorites to get Santana, Lupica referred to Johan as “not somebody I would pay $150 million on a bet?”

What do you think the biased bitch said about Johan today, the day after the Mets traded for him?

The Mets finally showed up for the baseball winter, beat the Yankees and the Red Sox to Santana

The Mets didn’t beat the Yankees to Santana you dumb fuck! The Yankees didn’t want to give up their young guns for him! Are you retarded?

Look at who the Mets gave up for Santana: Gomez (who?) Humber (who?) and 2 pieces of pocket lint. The Twins wanted Arod, Jeter, and DiMaggio’s monument! Why the hell would the Yankees make that deal?

Fucking moron!

That’s right Mike – and how much is this deal going to cost the Mets?

…it is going to cost between $110 million and $120 million in the end…

HAHAHA try $151 million you deluded douche! You are right, you won’t have to pay $150 million for him…you’ll be paying $1 million more!

I can’t wait to see your spin on this deal on Sunday.

I have a feeling you are going to say it’s the best signing ever!

So when are you going to start talking about the Mets payroll, and how it’s the highest in the NL, and it still can’t get the loser Mets in the post season???

UPDATE 2.2.08

Lupica posted his article today about the signing of Santana - do you think he mentions Santana's new contract ONCE!?

Any mention of the $151 million, A full million more than Lupica would ever sign this guy for?
Did they overpay for Santana? You bet.

Why do I have the feeling Lupica will excuse the Mets for overpaying Santana, instead of hammering them for months to come, like he does every time the Yankees sign a player?

So does everybody when the player they want and the player they need and the one they think can put them over the top is sitting right there, practically begging to come to their team.

Santana was begging to come to the Mets? Give me a fucking break. Santana would have went anywhere that got him out of Minnesota, you jackass.

Next you are gonna tell us Beltran was begging to come to the Mets.

Oh wait. Nevermind; he was begging to come to the Yankees.

Look how desperate Lupica is, trying to justify spending all that money for a pitcher...he quotes George Young:

"One of the realities of this business," George Young said, "is that your economics always change if you think you need the player to win."

You can quote all the GMs in all of sports, Mike. The fact remains that the Mets overpaid for a pitcher (a pitcher!) and now you look like a dick for the $150 million comment you made 3 weeks ago, when you thought the Yankees would get him.

Keep backpedalling, asshole.

And by the way, I know you are an idiot Mike, but what the fuck is up with this line...

(The Mets) think they can win their first World Series in 22 years right after the Red Sox win their second in three.

Newsflash, you midget shithead...

2004 - Red Sox win
2005 - White Sox win
2006 - Cardinals win
2007 - Red Sox win

It was the Red Sox second World Series in FOUR years, you dumb ass!

1.30.08 - Lupica Ends Lisa Olson’s Career With The Daily News!

This is fucking great. I heard about this story on the Boomer and Carton Show on WFAN, where Carton was expressing his disgust in Lupica (shock) after he told this story about how Lupica was a dick and pissed off Lisa Olson so bad that she quit.

This is from a website called The Big Lead, where they apparently also hate Lupica (shock)…

“The story we’re hearing: The Daily News sent several writers to cover the Packers/Giants playoff game. After the Giants stunning overtime victory, the crew decided what they were going to write, and then conducted interviews in the locker room and returned to their computers. Standard newspaper stuff. Apparently, after everyone had begun writing, Lupica decided to switch topics, effectively screwing Olson. This caused her to turn her column in late, irritating the New York office - even though it was Lupica’s fault for switching on the fly late on a Sunday night, with deadline looming. Because the entire staff lives in fear of the little man, nobody spoke up on Olson’s behalf.

Days go by. The paper finally comes to a decision on whom to send to the Super Bowl. Over 35 names are on the list. Amazingly, that list does not include Olson, who many believe to be the paper’s best writer. We are told she quit on the spot. Allegedly the paper is trying to get her to return, but she has stood firm.”

Good For you Lisa Olson, although next time we’d appreciate it if you kicked the crap out of that little fucking bitch.

Or at least break his fingers next time so he can no longer type.