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Monday, September 29, 2008

Russo makes me feel bad for Mets fans.

I was feeling all giddy about the Mets collapse, then I watched this stupid ass video.


What the hell is this guy on?

Are you serious, Russo? Look at yourself. You are acting like a complete asshole.

I hope your wife is happy with all that money from your new contract, because she sure can't be proud of being hitched to a loser like you.

It's (not) hard to believe Mets collapse again.

Here we go again, the Mets have another end of season collapse.

Let's see how Mike puts his stupid spin on it.

It was the last of the ninth now at Shea Stadium, last of the ninth in all ways, and they were all standing and begging for one last miracle out of the place.

Didn't happen.


They didn't want a big miracle now at Shea. Just a small one.

Two runs in the bottom of the ninth in a series in which they only scored FIVE runs total?

That's not a small miracle.

That's up there with walking on water.

They were playing to keep playing now, force a game against the Brewers at Shea tonight, see who would get the last playoff spot in the National League this year.

Ah, there's that Lupica Poetry we've all come to expect when Mikey tries to, once again, dress up a Mets collapse.

It had been 2-2 after Carlos Beltran hit one over the wall in left and toward Citi Field in the bottom of the sixth, made the place sound the way it had always sounded in big moments like this

All two of them.

But on the last weekend of the season and the last weekend of baseball Shea will ever have, the Mets scored a total of five runs.

One Friday, two Saturday, two Sunday.

It is a bit of a problem with the core Mets stars, Wright and Beltran and Jose Reyes and Carlos Delgado:

They all do just enough to break your heart in the end.

When the Yankees tank, it's "payroll", "not clutch", "ARod tabloids" and "soft Jeter."

When the Mets fall apart in epic fashion, two years in a row now to the lowly Marlins, with their $120 million less payroll than the Mets, it's a "bit of a problem."

Newsflash, Mike you midget genius - the Mets didn't get eliminated for lack of hitting.

Their bullpen is a fucking joke.

Omar Minaya is responsible for this putrid joke of a bullpen - why the hell are you giving him a pass?

They will just remember the Mets getting passed in the stretch, again, and that is why a lot of these players, and maybe at least one core player, have to go.

Yes, the Mets should pick players' names out of hat to determine who has to go.

Or they could get 2 relievers and win their division by 6 games.

Great things, magic things, had always happened in the late innings at Shea, hadn't they?

16 blown saves by the Mets bullpen.

Now that is some serious late inning "magic."

To the end, the 56,000 wanted to believe, tried to believe, that the Marlins couldn't do it to them again on the last day, the way they did last year.

If only the Marlins payroll was under $20 million.

If only.

So many of the 56,000 had come to see the goodbye ceremonies when the game was over. But really they had come to yell their heads off, make the place sound the way it was supposed to, for one more day.

Many came for the ceremonies; all came to yell their heads off.

No one came to see the Mets win - good thing.

The 56,000 still wanted one more day, because you always do in sports.

Actually, they wanted one more win.

But then Wright, whose numbers were better than he hit down the stretch, popped out and Endy Chavez grounded back to the pitcher. Two outs. It had been two outs and nobody on in Game 6 in '86 before Carter got a single.

22 fucking years ago.

Can you say, "stretch?"

Damion Easley walked now, and that made Ryan Church the tying run at the plate.

Just the way the Mets fans wanted it.

He put a good swing on the ball and for a moment you thought he'd gotten it,

Speak for yourself.

but he hadn't.

Nope, he hadn’t.

The ball ended up in the center fielder's glove and it wasn't just one season ending out there, it was all of them.


No roller from Mookie down the line. No game today.

The miracles always came easier at Shea when the Mets were good enough.

Twice in their history.

These Mets aren't.

Two years in a row, the Mets failed miserably against a team whose payroll was over $100 million less than theirs.

Two years in a row, Mike Lupica fails to mention the Mets payroll – all we get is Lupica Poetry.

Another job well done by the dwarf.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Let's Play "Guess The Season!"

Guess what season these pics were taken...

Was it 2007? 2008?

Fun for the whole family!

The Mets Payroll is $140 million...

...tops in the NL...

The Marlins payroll is $22 million, the lowest in the NL.

As Mike Lupica would say, I just thought you should know that.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Special Guest! Kristyn and Frank!!!

We received a great e-mail today from Kristyn and Frank, out in Jersey. After watching Lupica on the Sports Reporters (on ESPRSN - Entertainment & Sports Red Sox Nation-work), Frank was inspired to write the following, which I will now share with you (because I couldn't possibly have said this better myself.)

Mike Lupica, you are a pompous, privileged man who embodies everything that is wrong with sports reporters and the media. You talk down to fans with one snide remark after another. How DARE you say, “You’re forced to see Michael Kay’s stupid baseball team.” That is how you felt about going to the final baseball game at Yankee Stadium?

Real Yankee fans would have given anything to have to “suffer” like you did. Then you say your fondest moment is the 2001 World Series because it made the city feel better after 9/11.

Did you forget the articles that you wrote after Game 7 when you said the same fans were spoiled and how it’s not the law that the Yankees win every year? And you remind us every time you get the chance that the Yankees have not won since 2000!

It’s amazing how you can remind players when they talk out of both sides of their mouth, but I guess you should know because to see a spoiled hypocrite all you need do is look in the mirror.

Incredibly well said, Frank. And thanks again to Kristyn for sending it in to us!

Although, in Lupica's defense, I'm sure going to the last game in the history of the most storied ballpark in the history of professional sports forced him to miss new episodes of "Brooke Knows Best" and "I Love Money" on VH1. You know how much Lupica loves his reality TV.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

How Three Dumb Bitches Ruined The Last Game At Yankee Stadium

So I sat down to enjoy the last game at Yankee Stadium tonight, and I immediately noticed something that pissed me off - there were three dumb bitches sitting behind home plate - the best seats in the house, on the biggest night of the season - and they could not give ONE SHIT about the game.

I found myself watching them more than I was watching the game. It was like talking to someone who had a piece of shit stuck in their teeth, and you can't concentrate on what they are saying; you can only focus on that little piece of shit.

So instead of focusing on the game, I focused on those three pieces of shit behind the plate.

Thanks, bitches - I hope the loads you swallowed for those tickets tasted good.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Jeter Breaks Gehrig's Record; Lupica Shits On Him

It's been a long time since I posted, mostly due to the Yankees failing to make the playoffs. It's hard to knock a sports journalist when he knocks the Yankees, as bad as they've been playing. One thing I had to look forward to was Jeter breaking Lou Gehrig's record for most hits in Yankee Stadium.

So Jeter went berserk this week and broke the record. Good for him - Gehrig is my favorite Yankee, and it's great to have a guy like Jeter break his record.

So of course, Lupica had to do his best to ruin Jeter's latest feat by writing a "positive" Yankee article. He wrote this worthless piece of shit, "praising" Jeter, yet knocks him through the entire article.

Let's take a look.

- Knock #1

It is good being Jeter even now, when he didn't start hitting until it was too late.

Poor Jeter - not only did he start hitting too late, but he also gets a "positive" article written about him by Lupica, who points out all his shortcomings.

Haha.."Lupica" and "short"...

I bet you never thought you'd see those two words in the same sentence on this website.

It is good being Jeter even with this kind of ending to the Yankee season, and to this version of Yankee Stadium; it's good being Jeter even as the Yankees will be out of the playoffs for the first time in 15 years and this will be eight years since Jeter and the Yankees last won it all.

What the heck, may as well write something disparaging about the Yankees while knocking/praising Jeter.

Raise your hand if you think the phrase "15 years" will replace "$200 million" as Lupica's favorite.

- Knock #2

He didn't do much more than anybody else on the team when the Yankees still had a chance to make it to another baseball October.

Jeter leads the Yankees in hits (for the 5th year in a row) with 176.

Yeah. He's useless.

- Knock #3

He remains the star he has been for such a long time at the Stadium even if he is not the hitter or the shortstop he once was.

Gee, I seem to recall reading this article back in 2000. Or was it 2002?

Maybe 2004.

Whenever Jeter has an "off" year, the sports "experts" love to talk about how Jeter is done.

What a surprise, Lupica is once again driving that bandwagon.

Mo Rivera also hears the kind of cheers that Jeter does at the Stadium. Jeter hears them more often, not just for the records he sets, but because he is still here.

When did Rivera get traded?

- Knock #4

He is not the hitter Alex Rodriguez is, or even close.

Are you trying to say that Jeter isn't one of the best hitters of his generation!?

Jeez, next he's probably gonna compare him to Joe DiMaggio!

(Yes, he really does.)

- Knock #5

At 34, not able to drive the ball the way he did or produce the numbers he did in his glory years

Jeter's OPS+ in his first 3 full seasons
1996 - 101
1997 - 103
1998 - 127

Jeter's OPS+ in his last 3 seasons
2006 - 132
2007 - 121
2008 - 107

While Jeter's OPS+ has been declining, it's clear his last three seasons are better than his first three.

There's only one reason Lupica didn't mention (again) Jeter's 2007 post season failure.

He forgot.

And he still knows how Yankees are supposed to act. The night of the All-Star Game, you looked over in the 14th inning, long after A-Rod had disappeared into the night, there were two people on the top step of the American League dugout: Boston's Terry Francona, managing the game, and Jeter, who'd been out of the game for hours.

ARod left the game before it ended in the 14th inning - it's pretty obvious he left early for one reason…to score some crack!

That is NOT how a Yankee is supposed to act.

- Knock #6

He is not the Yankee that Joe DiMaggio was

This is like saying Mike Lupica isn't tall. It's a given. It doesn't need to be said.

But hey, what's a positive article about a Yankee without unnecessarily putting him down?

He goes across the street with the rest of them next season. It will still be called Yankee Stadium.

Why couldn't they be like every other team and sell out their naming rights…to a company that rhymes with "shitty", for example?

- Knock #7

The new place won't be as good for Jeter

Because, in the new stadium, the bases will be 300 feet apart, and the outfield wall will be 200 feet high!

Poor Jeter.

Lupica can only hope that Reyes will have half the career that Jeter has had.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Really Bob Raissman? Lets Take a Better Look...

So here's the article. More or less, my issue is that Raissman wants Girardi and Cashman to bite the bullet for this season's failures. And he waxes poetic about how Joe Torre could have fixed it all and seen us through to the post-season... and I'm not buying. Lets get started...

Monday night, with the Angels on their way to a 12-1 romp, Michael Kay decided it was safe to lower the boom. Gee, it only took him 144 games to - on Al Yankzeera - figure out the time was right to express disdain for this poorly constructed, underachieving team.

So wait... you mean, they waited until it's basically a mathematical impossibility to really criticize a team that, up until 2 or 3 weeks ago, still could have made the playoffs, and ultimately won the World Series? God forbid! Maybe their job isn't to be sensational and sell newspapers like say... your job. And "poorly constructed" how? Hughes and Kennedy pitched great last year and looked ready to make the jump. Chamberlain was a lock to give them great innings. Wang was a back-to-back 19 game winner. Melky had a nice year in CF in 2007. A-Rod, Jeter, Cano and Giambi were probably the best offensive infield in baseball. Abreu and Matsui can mash. And Posada was coming off a career year. Morgan Ensberg was on the bench, a former 30-homer guy... Betemit had "loads of potential." Damon was our 4th outfielder for crying out loud. Mussina was supposed to be our 5-starter! Who was more stacked than us?

That's why, as the Yankees play out the string, don't expect Kay, or any other Yankees mouthpiece, to mention the name Joe Torre and speculate about what his presence would have meant to this team.

Why is this about Joe Torre? The fucking Dodgers have a WORSE RECORD THAN THE YANKEES!! THEY'VE WON LESS GAMES!! You're telling me that if Joe Torre was the manager, the Yankees would be in the NL West this year? Not to mention that Joe Torre's Dodgers were a below .500 team until they hijacked Manny Ramirez and he batted .400 for a month in the middle of their lineup!!!!

What of Cashman's decision to put all his faith in two young pitchers, Phil Hughes and Ian Kennedy?

It backfired. We get it. There was no reason to think these kids would be so bad, and so hurt. They were both great in 2007 and looked ready to make the jump to being front-line starters, which they still may become. People have whined for 10 years about the Yankees free-spending ways... and when they go with homegrown kids instead of $20M Santana, you wanna bash them? Pick a side of the fence guys.

Here's the deal: Rewind to spring training. There was all this hype, coming out of YES and other media outlets, contrasting Girardi's style to that of Torre's.

No, Bob Raissman, here's the fucking deal. Everybody got hurt. Everybody. Lets look at who got hurt, and what that cost the Yankees based on 2007 production, or in the case of youngsters, reasonable 2008 projections.

Chien-Ming Wang - 19 wins, 218 innings at a 124 ERA+ in 2007.
Phil Hughes - 10 wins, 150 innings at about a 120 ERA+ projected.
Ian Kennedy - 8 wins, 150 innings at about a 110 ERA+ projected.
Joba Chamberlain - 150 innings at about a 150 ERA+, 180 K's and about 10 wins projected.
Jorge Posada - .338/.426/.543 with 20 HR and 42 doubles in 506 ABs in 2007.
Hideki Matsui - .285/.367/.488 with 25 HR and 28 doubles in 547 ABs in 2007.

Chien-Ming Wang - 8 wins, 95 innings. (Loss of 11 wins, 123 IP)
Phil Hughes - 0 wins, 22 innings (Loss of 10 wins, 128 IP)
Ian Kennedy - 0 wins, 40 innings (Loss of 8 wins, 110 IP)
Joba Chamberlain - 4 wins, 93 innings (Loss of 6 wins, 57 IP)
Jorge Posada - .268/.364/.411 with 3 HR and 13 doubles in 168 ABs (Loss of 338 ABs of OPS .969)
Hideki Matsui - .297/.375/.430 with 9 HR and 17 doubles in 330 ABs (Loss of 217 ABs of OPS .805)

So again, in summation, show me a team that can lose 418 innings of above-league-average pitching, about 35 wins, about 30 homers, 200 RBIs, 50 doubles and 500 at bats of OPS .800+ and still play even .500 baseball. I beg you to do this.

Yes, the Sox lost Ortiz for a while, and Schilling for the year. Beckett and Matsuzaka missed little stretches. Lowell went down for a little while. But their losses don't come CLOSE to what the Yankees have lost this year.

Mussina's overachieved like a mad man. We've gotten half-serviceable innings for Sidney Ponson, Darrell Rasner and Dan Giese. Xavier Nady's been a man on a mission since coming back to the Big Apple. And A-Rod's been his usual freak of nature. Those are the prime reasons that this isn't an 85-90 loss team with the guys that have gone down.

For the sake of comparison, imagine if the Mets lost Santana, Perez and Pelfrey for the year in May, then lost Maine for 2 months starting in July. And also lost Reyes and Delgado for half the year, and Wright for a month. Where would they be right now?

Or for the D-Rays, picture if Kazmir, Shields and Sonnanstine went down for the year in May, then Matt Garza lost 2 months... and then Pena, Navarro missed half the year, and Crawford missed a month.

Yes, I realize that Crawford, Percival and Longoria are out with injuries. By the time they went down, the Rays had what? A 6-game lead? Aside from Kazmir missing a few starts in April, they haven't had an injury in their rotation or bullpen all year. And aside from Baldelli's genetic condition, they've been VERY healthy.

It's a down year for the Yankees. Jeter struggled all year. Melky was terrible. A-Rod and Giambi have struggled with RSIP. There are aspects where people have underachieved... but the bottom line is... that as a whole, this team has overcome a TON just to be above .500. It's not a championship, but it should be a little bit of a moral victory.

And on the bright side, we'll have Mark Teixeira and C.C. Sabathia next year...

So our top 3 in the rotation should be Sabathia, Chamberlain and Wang. And we'll have A-Rod, Teixeira, Nady, Abreu, Matsui and Posada mashing in the lineup. The future is bright.