Special Guest! Kristyn and Frank!!!

We received a great e-mail today from Kristyn and Frank, out in Jersey. After watching Lupica on the Sports Reporters (on ESPRSN - Entertainment & Sports Red Sox Nation-work), Frank was inspired to write the following, which I will now share with you (because I couldn't possibly have said this better myself.)

Mike Lupica, you are a pompous, privileged man who embodies everything that is wrong with sports reporters and the media. You talk down to fans with one snide remark after another. How DARE you say, “You’re forced to see Michael Kay’s stupid baseball team.” That is how you felt about going to the final baseball game at Yankee Stadium?

Real Yankee fans would have given anything to have to “suffer” like you did. Then you say your fondest moment is the 2001 World Series because it made the city feel better after 9/11.

Did you forget the articles that you wrote after Game 7 when you said the same fans were spoiled and how it’s not the law that the Yankees win every year? And you remind us every time you get the chance that the Yankees have not won since 2000!

It’s amazing how you can remind players when they talk out of both sides of their mouth, but I guess you should know because to see a spoiled hypocrite all you need do is look in the mirror.

Incredibly well said, Frank. And thanks again to Kristyn for sending it in to us!

Although, in Lupica's defense, I'm sure going to the last game in the history of the most storied ballpark in the history of professional sports forced him to miss new episodes of "Brooke Knows Best" and "I Love Money" on VH1. You know how much Lupica loves his reality TV.

Joba Owns Beckett And Red Sox; What Does Lupica Say?

Word up, Lupica haters!

This week, Lupica wrote another fucking column about Clemens, and how George Bush shouldn’t give him a pardon.

Who gives a shit, really?

The only person in the world who isn’t tired of Clemens is Lupica.

Give it a rest, Mike. The guy is a total tool. We get it.

Move the fuck on.

Blurbs…

It was pretty neat, I thought, that Charlie Manuel criticized Jose Reyes for being a hot dog on the same day Manuel's shortstop, Jimmy Rollins, couldn't make it to Shea Stadium on time.

Apples, meet Oranges.

A-Rod's friends now are out there saying the whole thing is Cynthia Rodriguez's fault, she drove the poor guy into the arms of other women, and I'm thinking these are the kinds of friends angling for a shot at "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?"

Sports, Lupica. Try covering it sometime.

Nice job plugging another worthless TV show.

You don't have to like Billy Wagner,

Good.

or the way he blows sky high sometimes, or everything he says, whether he is standing in front of his locker or talking on the radio.

And if you are a Mets fan, you can already be wondering about whether Frankie Rodriguez or somebody else could be the closer here before long.

But you still have to say that Wagner is one of the most interesting people to ever hold down the job of closer in New York.

He sucks in the clutch, and he’s a joke in the post season. He’s got a big mouth and he’s a team divider.

This is why he is “interesting” and deserving of space in Lupica’s dumb column.

You can have “interesting”; I’ll take Rivera.

On Saturday, Joba pitched the best game in his short career, beating the Red Sox in Boston, with Josh Beckett going for the Sox.

Josh Beckett, Mike Lupica’s wet dream from Boston.

Remember this quote by the dwarf?

"The Yankees have a lot. Just nobody like Beckett." - Lupica, 4.18.08

Every sports writer in New York wrote a story about Saturday's game.

Here’s what Lupica had to say…

The Yankee broadcasters kept saying that it made no "sense" for Joba to put a fastball up in Kevin Youkilis' eyes the other night, and I'm wondering what sort of "sense" it made when Joba put two over Youkilis' head last season.

That’s all, folks!

No story, no column, nothing. Just bullshit about Joba throwing at Youkilis again.

Imagine the sports media without Lupica…we’d never learn anything about the Yankees.

Or anything else relevant.

A tough young girl from Sunny Valley, Ore., named Camala (Cami) Million, won the fifth go-round rodeo at the Imus Cattle Ranch for Kids with Cancer last week, and turned in a record time of 19.62 seconds doing it.

Wow, did you snort a line of cocaine with Imus while discussing this story with him?

Even between one season and the next, it remains one of the most amazing things in sports that the Knicks and Rangers, combined, have won two playoff series in the last eight seasons at the Garden.

New York Mets: one playoff series win in the last seven seasons, with the highest payroll in the NL for the last five years.

But hey, at least they got two last places finishes under their belt during that time.

And that neither one of them, despite piles and piles of money spent, has made it past the second round of the playoffs.

Yet once again, no mention of the Mets payroll or lack of success in October.

Can Carlos Delgado win Comeback Player of the Year just for the way he's come back in the same season?

Ask Robinson Cano. He would have won it the last two seasons.

And possibly this season.

The bushier Giambi's mustache gets, the more he looks like a bouncer.

Uninteresting, unfunny and uninformative. Typical Lupica.

If Mike Pelfrey had an unusual nickname, people might get as excited about the way he's pitching for the Mets as Yankee fans are about Joba.

Joba’s ERA is 1.3 points lower than Pelfrey.
Joba’s WHIP is .2 lower than Pelfrey.
Joba has 20 more K’s in 45 less innings.
Joba just owned the Red Sox.
Joba was converted to a starter after every bitch in sports media said it was the wrong move.

Throw all that away; Yankees fans are excited for Joba because of…his unusual nickname?

Sports journalism at it’s finest.

If you're Brian Cashman, you have to make the trade he just made with the Pirates, no questions asked.

But there has never been a single time when the Yankees have traded prospects when we didn't hear that it was the greatest trade ever

So every time the Yankees have traded prospects, it was considered the greatest trade ever?

Typical Lupica: blowing things out of proportion to prove his point.

and the prospects they sent off to a team like the Pirates really didn't matter in the whole grand scheme of things.

Cashman quote : “We ended up paying a pretty steep price in terms of four useful players. But the deal makes a lot of sense for us on several levels.”

Never a single time, right Mike?

Fucking asshole.

Shooting From The...*YAWWWWWWNNNN*

I'd be lying if I said that it didn't get a little bit tiring, constantly having to defend New York sports from the tyranny of the Keebler Elf Leader. Luckily for me, he actually picked a new topic for Sunday's Shooting from the Lip! Something he's never bitched or whined about!! The New York Knicks!!! Hooray!!!!

Also, we have another mention of Lupica's friends. He sure does seem to have a lot of them, doesn't he? Must be hard for him to remember all of their names and birthdays, not to mention his busy schedule of being a centerpiece in circle jerks all over the tri-state area. Well, before you shed a tear, let me assure you that none of Lupica's "friends" actually have names... because they don't fucking exist.

There is a Knicks fan I know, a big one, who happened to be in London this week.

Bullshit Mike. Who'd you bump into? Spike Lee? He wouldn't risk his street cred to talk to your midget ass! Don't even fucking lie to me. There are like 17 Knicks fans (including myself) in the entire world right now. You didn't find one of them in London.

The last time he attended the NBA draft in person was the night the Knicks traded away Marcus Camby and Nene, did all that and got Antonio McDyess' knee in return.

Yeah, that was a bad fucking trade. But now I know it's not Spike Lee, because there's no way he hasn't been to a draft in that long.

But the guy was sure interested in this one, and sure that he didn't want the Italian kid, Danilo Gallinari.

Of course your imaginary Knick Fan friend doesn't want Gallinari!! If he did, then you'd have no vehicle in which to drive this shitty article up the ass of the 17 actual Knick fans who give a shit.

The guy said that he had stayed with his team through everything, through what has become the worst era in Knicks history, stayed with them through Isiah Thomas, but that if Donnie Walsh drafted the Italian kid, he was done with the Knicks, that's it, goodbye, he'd wait to see if the Nets ever actually made it to Brooklyn.

This Knick fan sounds a lot like Mike Lupica, doesn't he? Lets be serious here. You're a Knick fan (one of the 17) and you've been through season after season of embarrassing, frustrating losses. You've been through Isiah Thomas, Eddie Curry, Larry Brown, Isiah Thomas, Starbury, Lenny Wilkens, Herb Williams, Isiah Thomas, Alan Houston's knees, Antonio McDyess's mummified corpse, Isiah Thomas's sexual harassment suit, Nate Robinson attacking Malik Rose in the shower and Isiah Thomas... and you're gonna quit on your team because they draft a guy that you don't like? Before you ever see the guy play a fucking game?

If this was actually said by a "Knick fan", and not made up in the dwarven brain of Mike Lupica, then whoever this "Knick fan" is... is the worst excuse for a bandwagon fan in the history of bandwagon fanhood. The Knicks haven't even HAD a bandwagon in at least 10 years... and this guy's just jumping off it now?

Speaking of riding dead horses, they just loaded Eight Belles into the starting gate at Belmont for the 1st race. Velazquez thinks he can get one more good run out of her.

He doesn't play any defense, and if we're ever going to get good again in my lifetime, we're eventually going to have to play some defense, right?

Did D'Antoni make them play defense in Phoenix? How'd they do out there? Oh, that's right. Better than the Knicks. And how do you know how much defense Gallinari plays? WE'VE NEVER FUCKING SEEN HIM IN THE NBA!!!!!

The drafting of the Italian kid - and that's if Walsh and D'Antoni are right about him - is the start of the team's extreme makeover.

Because what's a Mike Lupica article without some reference to Reality TV?! Extreme Makeover - Knicks Edition!

The Knicks aren't just the worst team in town, they are the one furthest from being something.
I think the Mets are fucked a lot more than the Knicks, no offense Met fans. The Knicks have some young guys that have shown improvement with Nate Robinson, David Lee, Renaldo Balkman, Wilson Chandler, and now Gallinari. They've got Marbury's expiring contract as a massive trading chip.

Lupica's boyfriends, the Mets, pillaged their minor league system for Johan, who already looks like he doesn't want to be here. Oliver Perez and Aaron Heilman also can't wait to get the fuck out of town. Beltran plays baseball 5 years older than he is. Castillo's locked up for 4 years. That team is basically "David Wright or Bust!" for the foreseeable future... and by the time they can do something serious to fix that, David Wright's probably going to want out too. But at least Reyes can dance... when he's not prompting the manager to threaten to cut him.

***

But Bill Clinton was here the other day and seems to be almost as big in England as Jerry Lewis is in France.

More important than the reality TV reference, is the veiled shot at guy who hasn't been the President in 7 1/2 years. Got any good Reagan jokes? How about Lincoln! Lincoln jokes are a gas!!

There's this sausage they sell at Wimbledon called a Dutchee and it's pretty good.

Mike Lupica loves the sausage.

Not bratwurst-in-Milwaukee good, but close enough

I mean, really fucking loves the sausage. Rather than pasting the rest of this, just trust me when I say that he goes on for another half a page about the sausage. How they poke it with a needle to make sure it's ready to be stuck in your mouth. How slow the line is. How he was as excited as a virgin on prom night about wrapping his lips around some big, hot, thick, juicy, British Sausage...

Bondy would have been a lot more impressed about my soccer knowledge if my 6-to-1 bet on Turkey against Germany had paid off, I can tell you that right now.

If any Turkish people are reading this, please note than this is the reason your team lost! Mike Lupica bet on them. I don't know how hardcore you guys are about soccer, but if you want to assassinate somebody for causing the loss to zee Germans, you should target Mike Lupica. He cursed them.

What part of "contract year" is Oliver Perez not getting so far?

The part where he's supposed to win games when his offense doesn't score any runs. If you had ever actually WATCHED a baseball game, you'd understand what I mean.

Who would have thought at the start of the season that Mike Mussina would come back and pitch the way Mets fans want Pedro to pitch?

Mike Mussina's ERA+ is 104 right now. That means he's basically league-average. He's got 10 wins because his team scores runs. That's not to say that he hasn't pitched well, but the bottom line is that he's not chasing a Cy Young or anything.

If Mussina was pitching for the Mets, he'd be 6-10 instead of 10-6, because the Mets don't have the offense to get a guy the win if he gives up 4 runs. And Lupica would bitch about wanting Pedro.

Red Sox fans have probably forgotten all that "Nancy Drew" stuff on J.D. from last season by now, I'm guessing.

Why? He's still a fucking faggot. And he's on pace to miss 28 games this season. He's currently played in 71/85. People call him "Nancy Drew" because he's softer than a newborn baby's ballsack! Not because he can't hit.

Twelve-year-old Shannon Hamilton, from Albuquerque, N.M., won the third go-round's ranch rodeo at the Imus Cattle Ranch for Kids with Cancer, and set the 2008 roping record in the process.

Welcome to the latest installment of "Using Don Imus's Charitable Deeds to Justify the Fact that He's a Fucking Racist!!"

I'm just hoping the Rev. Al doesn't have any problem with that.

Rev. Al doesn't have a problem with that. Rev. Al has a problem with Imus going on the radio and screaming racial slurs and stereotypes about black people to boost his fucking ratings. Unless you really believe that he was implying that "Pacman was unfairly targeted." Are you that stupid? I didn't think so. I'm not either.

They're not nearly as interested in the Subway Series here as you might think.

I wouldn't think that people in London give a shit about the Mets or Yankees. They have their own sports to worry about.

I had heard London was expensive. What I didn't know was that I was going to need a summer job when I got home.

Don't worry little boy. I'm sure the Daily News will set you up with a paper route to make extra money.

What?! You're a 53 year old man?! Can't they get you some growth hormones or something?!I guess you could be a chimney sweep! Maybe Santa needs help making the toys!!

New York Baseball Blows! Reality TV Rules!

I finally figured it out.

Mike wants to score with Simon Cowell.

It all came to me today when I read this article, that not only bashes the Yankees (shock), but the Mets too!

I guess he gave up on Reyes and is moving on to bigger and better (and British) things.

The New York baseball season hasn't happened yet, has it?

Wow, that American Idol really sucked you in, Mike.

Unless you think this is all the Yankees and Mets have.

Really, this is what the baseball season in New York has been so far:

One start for Joba.

All the talk about Willie Randolph's job.

Actually, if you were a fan (which you obviously are not) you would know there is a lot going on.

About 120 games between the two teams; some good, some bad, some ugly.

This is why fans watch baseball – because we never know what’s going to happen.

Kind of like how you watch reality TV, except in our case, there is talent on our TVs.

And Hank Steinbrenner talking, constantly, almost every day, every news cycle, as if somebody has injected him with truth serum, talking about everything and everybody as if talking can turn him into his old man.

An owner is disappointed in his incredibly high payrolled team. He’s not allowed to talk about it? How come it’s only you who is allowed talk? No one even listens to your sorry ass. They just read your dopey articles, shake their heads in disappointment, then line their birdcage with your weekly garbage.

There is so much that we don't know about these two teams after more than two months of the season.

Exactly, you douche bag! We don’t know if they are going to stay at .500, or if they are going to face each other in the world series.

This is why fans watch the games. We are into it. You, obviously, are not.

So fuck off.

… I always go into the men's final at the French thinking my man Federer has a chance to beat Nadal.

Your man. Please. We all know there is more than one man.

Be proud of your homosexuality, Mike. Embrace it.

You wonder if all the other baseball networks covered Jason Giambi's checked swing Friday night as if it were part of some vast right-wing conspiracy.

You have a problem with YES questioning a possible game-changing bad call? It was a shitty call; they talked about it.

You call this journalism, Mike? You couldn’t come up with anything better? Not even a reality TV comparison, or a comparison to Obama beating Clinton?

Jeez you are slipping.

Although I do like how you always compare a Yankee story to some national event.

So predictable...and stupid.

Their personalities couldn't be more different, but there are a lot of nights during the baseball season when Keith Hernandez is as fun and unpredictable and occasionally as loopy as Scooter used to be.

Yeah, like when he went off about a girl being in a dugout instead of at home washing dishes.

Fun, unpredictable, and loopy, indeed.

Maybe you can add in "drunk" and "high on coke," like he was in the '86 Mets dugout.

Go suck his cock and get it over with.

You keep thinking the networks have reached new bottoms when it comes to their reality-show choices, but now here comes, "I Survived a Japanese Game Show."

What do you call a reality TV addict?

I call them assholes.

No one would ever call me a hockey guy…

Newsflash – no one would ever call you a guy.

I sort of had a feeling that Paul Pierce hadn't suffered some sort of compound fracture of the right knee when he went down Thursday night.

Because you are such an athlete Mike.

My second son, Alex, graduated on Friday.

I wonder if Mike remembers life before Tivo…imagine all the family shit he must have missed because of his reality TV schedule.

More Clemens bullshit

Here is Mike's take on Clemens pitching tonight.

Oh Christ, does anyone still care about his opinion on the Yankees, since it's just an unbelievably biased load of HORSE SHIT????

Clemens gets the ball against the Indians tonight. Even in the first round, it is the biggest game he has ever pitched for the Yankees, the one he made sound like it was practically his civic duty to come back and pitch when he announced his Yankee comeback, to all manner of Yankee foofaraw and fanfare, one Sunday afternoon at the Stadium.

Er, how is Game 3 of the 2007 ALDS more important than Game 7 of the 2001 World Series?

Retard.

Now Clemens, who hasn't pitched since Sept. 16, who was paid a million bucks a start to come back and has produced exactly six victories so far and a 6-6 record, isn't asked to put the Yankees ahead of the Indians. He is asked to keep the Yankee season, one he pledged to come back and save, very much alive.

Pedro Martinez 2007 "Fun Facts!"
Starts – five
Wins – three
Salary - $14 million
Pay per start - $2.8 million

Owned.

The Yankees look to him, and he has won big October games for the Yankees before - remember Game 2 against the Mets in the Subway Series of 2000?

Wha??

Game 2 of the World Series is huge? After winning Game 1?

Talk first about Clemens, asked to win the Geezer Game that Tom Glavine could not win for the Mets one week ago.

Tom Glavine couldn’t win, Pedro Martinez couldn’t win, El Duque couldn’t win…

Can they come back? After everything that has happened since the Yankees last won it all, I still think they will.

But don’t worry – if the Yankees blow it, good ole Mikey will be writing articles about it until the end of time.

One of the most famous starters in all of baseball history is supposed to save a season tonight.

Well, here’s the thing.

Clemens had to leave the game due to an injury.

DUE TO AN INJURY.

He didn’t fail because he sucked.

But…let’s look at players who DID fail, not because of injury, but because they SUCKED…

Jose Reyes, September 2007 - .205 BA. A total loser when he’s needed.

Pedro Martinez, September 27 – Needed a win against the lowly Cardinals, Pedro gets the loss.

Tom Glavine, September 30 – Got lit up like a dirty bitch in the last game of the season, effectively ending the Mets year.

* * *

How's Kaz Matsui looking these days?

Looks to me like he’s still playing, something I can’t say about Jose Reyes.

While we're on the subject of the Mets…

FINALLY, Mike is finally going to rip them to shreds, for folding at the end of the season like little bitches, for having the highest payroll in the NL and not even making the playoffs, for Jose Reyes playing worse than, well, worse than Kaz Matsui…

Before the business of next season begins in earnest, there is still a lot of work to be done this past season.

And that means Fred Wilpon, Jeff Wilpon, Omar Minaya and Willie Randolph - just the four of them, nobody else from the front office - have to get together in a room and sort things out.

That’s all we get?

Actually Mike said some more shit, but it was lame, and it CERTAINLY wasn’t knocking the Mets.

Jose Reyes went from being called the most exciting player in baseball, and even a possible MVP candidate…

Well, who was the dumb midget turd who said something stupid like that?

Please Mike, don’t act like it wasn’t you who was trying to get a reach-around from Reyes.

Jeez, you never say anything bad about Reyes – what’s the matter, he didn’t swallow last night?

…to being the third-best shortstop in his own DIVISION.

Well that’s what happens when you are in a powerhouse division like, uh, the, uh, NL East.

Oh, and that’s also what happens when you OVERRATE a player.

And it all seemed to happen faster than Reyes can go from first to third.

Ah - I knew you would sneak a compliment in there somehow. Nice touch – maybe he’ll swallow now.

Speaking of which – remember when Mr. Lupica said the following about Jose Reyes?

"In the first week of March, there is nothing better than turning on the television in the afternoon and seeing Reyes at the plate." – Shooting From The Lip, 3.4.07

Check out what was in today’s column…

there is still nothing better on a Sunday afternoon than watching Brett Favre - the Cal Ripken of his sport and the Henry Aaron of his sport - throw a football around the way he is right now for the Packers.

If you have Brett Favre in fantasy football, I think it’s time to unload him.

Maybe somebody needs to tell Tom Coughlin that he has absolutely no chance of keeping his job, and that bringing him back was the dumbest idea since "Temptation Island."

Dude, get the HELL out of your house. These reality TV references are getting creepy.

Go play ball or something outside with your kids…

…if they aren’t too embarrassed to be seen with you in public.

Yanks to blame if they miss playoffs...NO SHIT!

Big news, Lupica haters…This week, Lupica decided to write about something other than bashing the Yankees.

Just kidding! It’s the same bullshit that Lupica has been writing about for the last month or so…if the Yankees don’t make the playoffs, it's on the heads of Torre, Cashman, and the players!

No shit!? I thought the tee shirt vendors across the street were to blame!

Thanks for the heads up, Master of the Obvious!

If the Yankees had won a game against the Tigers that started late Friday night and ended at 3:30 Saturday morning, nobody would have been blaming Major League Baseball because of when it started and when it finished, or looking to point fingers as soon as Carlos Guillen's 3-run dinger cleared the fence.

Nobody would have been mad at anybody and Joe Torre wouldn't have been at a loss for words when it was over. Are you kidding? It would have been a brand new episode of "Yankeeography"!

Actually, the Yankee announcers were complaining about it before the game even started…remember, the announcers that YOU keep ripping for being "homers"?

Oh sure. If a Yankee had hit the home run Guillen hit for the Tigers, the whole thing would have been classified as an instant pinstriped classic.

Newsflash: the ending time of a game does not dictate whether or not the game is a classic, you clueless bitch.

The Yankees want to be the late show of this baseball season, here and everywhere. Want to be, should be.

For a columnist who blasts us with run-on sentences on a weekly basis, this is probably the BEST run-on sentence he has ever written.

Give them all props for coming back the way they have...

Practice what you preach, you stupid midget.

But remember something as they make one last run: This isn't "The Little Engine That Could." Or even close.

Uh oh, do I smell a team salary comment coming up?

This is another $200 million team…

BINGO!!!

Mike Lupica, leading the charge in bringing us new and exciting facts about our favorite New York sports teams…well, that, and regurgitating THE SAME BULLSHIT FOR YEARS…

The reality of this Yankee team is that if it doesn't make it to the postseason, which would mean the first Yankee team since 1993 not to make it to the postseason…

1993? That would mean the Yankees made the postseason in 1994.

Wow, remember how great that postseason was?

Me neither.

The Yankees have their team now. If they don't win with it, then the deal is the same as it's been all along: Somebody over there ought to have some explaining to do.

Just because the deal is the same doesn’t mean your column has to be the same, every week, for two months.

Have they had to overcome a lot? They have.

Uh oh…here comes the Mets comparison!

You think the Mets haven't?

I swear to god, you can set your watch to Mike Lupica.

The Mets haven't had Pedro Martinez since last summer. What comparable long-term pitching loss have the Yankees had since then?

Holy shit, cry me a river, Mike!

Go cry to the Mets for not picking up a pitcher in the offseason to fill in for the hurt Pedro.

Torre has his team. It is a team that has fought back, over the last three months, as well as any he has had. Now that team is supposed to finish the job. No medals for trying. At least not at these prices.

That’s right Mike - the season shouldn’t even be played, because the Yankees have the highest payroll, they should automatically be in the postseason.

Funny - I don’t recall Mike going ape shit like this when the Mets were dying in last place with the highest payroll in the National League.

***

I will watch "Big Brother 8" before I watch another single minute of NFL preseason football.

Shouldn’t sports columnists be more into things like, you know, SPORTS, rather than outdated reality TV shows?

I'm thinking now that I should have gotten with Roger Clemens' trainer when I turned 45.

Please Mike, you were a lost cause back when you were in elementary school…remember, when you always got picked last for pick up games?

When David Ortiz hits the way he has hit the last couple of weeks, the Red Sox are better.

So let me get this straight...when Ortiz is better, the Red Sox are better?

Quality insight right there.

Did you know, the team win the most runs after nine innings, wins?

I can't lie: I wasn't watching when Bonds hit No. 761 the other night.

Oh Mike, you are such an outstanding sports fan.

NO ONE outside of San Francisco was watching either.

I have a feeling that Bonds homerun was only one of many baseball events that Lupica has missed.

Seeing there is so much bad reality TV to watch.

95 lb Lupica takes on 90 lb Victoria Beckham

Well let's see what's new…the Mets lead in the NL East is dwindling, the Red Sox are starting to implode, the Yankees won 11 of their last 14 games…so of course Lupica did what every self-respecting New York sportswriter would do…

…he wrote a very important article...bashing POSH SPICE!!?!?

Yes, our heroic media midget has stooped to a new low. After months of nauseating us with his public affection for his boyfriend, Jose Reyes, he now decides to play the tough guy and drop the hammer on that super evil woman, Posh Spice, and her super evil TV show, "Victoria Beckham: Coming to America."

Look, we know the woman isnt a rocket scientist, but jeez, does her silly little reality show justify a snotty review, by a sports columnist no less!?

Prime-time programming in the summer months is dumber than usual by half.

Wait, The Sports Reporters is going prime-time this season!?

It was probably inevitable that television would get around to a ditz like Mrs. Beckham.

You go Mikey!!! If you jump high enough, you might be able to punch her…right in the kneecap!!!

Maybe the best moment of all was when she got all teary-eyed talking about how much she missed her husband and her kids

There's nothing more exhilarating than kicking a woman when she's down - ain't that right Mikey?

There are two things I find so god damn annoying about this article, besides the fact that an asshole like Mike Lupica wrote it.

1. Look in the mirror - Mike Lupica is so busy writing a worthless article knocking a silly TV show, meanwhile he appears on a weekly TV show on ESPN, the MOST WORTHLESS CABLE CHANNEL OF ALL TIME! You want sports? Don’t put on ESPN! You'll get X Games (worthless) Sportscenter (worthless) Pardon The Interruption (suicide is more fun) and, oh yeah, poker tournaments (kill me now).

If you want to bash what's on TV, Mike, why don’t you point your crusty little midget finger at the network you collect a weekly paycheck from!? It’s a friggin EMBARRASSMENT to sports fans.

2. Check your gender - Mike Lupica spends every moment fantasizing, then writing, about his dream date Jose Reyes. It’s beyond the point of admiration - let's be honest. It's painfully obvious he wants to have a physical relationship with that strapping young Mets shortstop.

So, while he's not jumping all over his inflatable Jose Reyes doll, Mike Lupica takes the time to shit his venom all over this…


"Light in the Loafers" Lupica strikes again.

Grow some balls, you tool.

Steinbrenner, ARod AGAIN, fawning over Reyes...AGAIN

Happy April Fools Day everyone! Let's kick the day off right by slamming New York's biggest fool, Mike Lupica.

This week's Shooting From The Lip is all about how Steve Swindal is most likely getting the boot from the Yankees family and the person next in line after George Steinbrenner COULD be like James Dolan.

...if it is a member of the Steinbrenner family who eventually has the final say around the Yankees, no one knows if they will turn out to be some kind of first-rate sportsman and businessman.

Or if the Yankees might end up with their very own Dolan.

Yes, people, it took this pencil neck turd a week to come up with an article about something that COULD happen.

Not something that WOULD happen or DID happen.

A week's pay for writing about a hypothetical question.

So this is where we are with the Yankees, where they try to turn "King Lear" into some kind of modern reality TV show

Really, is this the best he can come up with? Total crap, just to piss off Yankees fans?

Oh sure, it COULD happen, but not likely, considering there is no one in sports who is as stupid as James Dolan.

Thanks for the informative article, Mike.

***

When people started calling Alex Rodriguez a "great" third baseman a couple of years ago, I always wondered, relative to what?

This comes from a guy who once said this...

A-Rod is having a wonderful season, and might end up MVP of the American League, even if David Ortiz has clearly been the MVP in the season played so far

Ortiz, MVP?

Is it just me, or dont you think the Most Valuable Player should own, oh, I don't know, a GLOVE?

So a guy plays for about a total of 5 minutes a night on offense and its ok to call him an MVP, but dont you DARE call a converted gold-glove winning shortstop to third base during an MVP season "great".

Shame on you, Yankees fans.

I was reminded during an idle hour the other afternoon that "Spin City" is still one of the most underrated sitcoms of all time.

And reminded again how brilliant Michael J. Fox was in it.

Very valuable information.

Just like everything else Mike writes about - worthless crap.

I think Mike took a ride on the Larry King Bus Of Stupidity.

And the moment we've all been waiting for...yes, its the Weekly Mets Ass Kissing Comment...

You know the best part about the Mets having a game tonight?

It means Jose Reyes is back in season.

This is a wonderful time to be a New York baseball fan.

There are so many players to watch, and so many of them are great players, and some of those great players have a lot of World Series rings.

I would rather watch Reyes play baseball than any of them.

Jesus Christ Mike, keep it in your pants!

I hope you are enjoying his 1 for 4 night and getting doubled up off first on a line drive as much as I am.

How about that baserunning on the error out in left field? Wasn't that exciting, watching Reyes jog to first, expecting to be out?

And how about getting picked off first in the 9th inning?

Fascinating player, that Reyes!