Joba Owns Beckett And Red Sox; What Does Lupica Say?

Word up, Lupica haters!

This week, Lupica wrote another fucking column about Clemens, and how George Bush shouldn’t give him a pardon.

Who gives a shit, really?

The only person in the world who isn’t tired of Clemens is Lupica.

Give it a rest, Mike. The guy is a total tool. We get it.

Move the fuck on.

Blurbs…

It was pretty neat, I thought, that Charlie Manuel criticized Jose Reyes for being a hot dog on the same day Manuel's shortstop, Jimmy Rollins, couldn't make it to Shea Stadium on time.

Apples, meet Oranges.

A-Rod's friends now are out there saying the whole thing is Cynthia Rodriguez's fault, she drove the poor guy into the arms of other women, and I'm thinking these are the kinds of friends angling for a shot at "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?"

Sports, Lupica. Try covering it sometime.

Nice job plugging another worthless TV show.

You don't have to like Billy Wagner,

Good.

or the way he blows sky high sometimes, or everything he says, whether he is standing in front of his locker or talking on the radio.

And if you are a Mets fan, you can already be wondering about whether Frankie Rodriguez or somebody else could be the closer here before long.

But you still have to say that Wagner is one of the most interesting people to ever hold down the job of closer in New York.

He sucks in the clutch, and he’s a joke in the post season. He’s got a big mouth and he’s a team divider.

This is why he is “interesting” and deserving of space in Lupica’s dumb column.

You can have “interesting”; I’ll take Rivera.

On Saturday, Joba pitched the best game in his short career, beating the Red Sox in Boston, with Josh Beckett going for the Sox.

Josh Beckett, Mike Lupica’s wet dream from Boston.

Remember this quote by the dwarf?

"The Yankees have a lot. Just nobody like Beckett." - Lupica, 4.18.08

Every sports writer in New York wrote a story about Saturday's game.

Here’s what Lupica had to say…

The Yankee broadcasters kept saying that it made no "sense" for Joba to put a fastball up in Kevin Youkilis' eyes the other night, and I'm wondering what sort of "sense" it made when Joba put two over Youkilis' head last season.

That’s all, folks!

No story, no column, nothing. Just bullshit about Joba throwing at Youkilis again.

Imagine the sports media without Lupica…we’d never learn anything about the Yankees.

Or anything else relevant.

A tough young girl from Sunny Valley, Ore., named Camala (Cami) Million, won the fifth go-round rodeo at the Imus Cattle Ranch for Kids with Cancer last week, and turned in a record time of 19.62 seconds doing it.

Wow, did you snort a line of cocaine with Imus while discussing this story with him?

Even between one season and the next, it remains one of the most amazing things in sports that the Knicks and Rangers, combined, have won two playoff series in the last eight seasons at the Garden.

New York Mets: one playoff series win in the last seven seasons, with the highest payroll in the NL for the last five years.

But hey, at least they got two last places finishes under their belt during that time.

And that neither one of them, despite piles and piles of money spent, has made it past the second round of the playoffs.

Yet once again, no mention of the Mets payroll or lack of success in October.

Can Carlos Delgado win Comeback Player of the Year just for the way he's come back in the same season?

Ask Robinson Cano. He would have won it the last two seasons.

And possibly this season.

The bushier Giambi's mustache gets, the more he looks like a bouncer.

Uninteresting, unfunny and uninformative. Typical Lupica.

If Mike Pelfrey had an unusual nickname, people might get as excited about the way he's pitching for the Mets as Yankee fans are about Joba.

Joba’s ERA is 1.3 points lower than Pelfrey.
Joba’s WHIP is .2 lower than Pelfrey.
Joba has 20 more K’s in 45 less innings.
Joba just owned the Red Sox.
Joba was converted to a starter after every bitch in sports media said it was the wrong move.

Throw all that away; Yankees fans are excited for Joba because of…his unusual nickname?

Sports journalism at it’s finest.

If you're Brian Cashman, you have to make the trade he just made with the Pirates, no questions asked.

But there has never been a single time when the Yankees have traded prospects when we didn't hear that it was the greatest trade ever

So every time the Yankees have traded prospects, it was considered the greatest trade ever?

Typical Lupica: blowing things out of proportion to prove his point.

and the prospects they sent off to a team like the Pirates really didn't matter in the whole grand scheme of things.

Cashman quote : “We ended up paying a pretty steep price in terms of four useful players. But the deal makes a lot of sense for us on several levels.”

Never a single time, right Mike?

Fucking asshole.