This Week's Load Of Crap

I skipped Lupica's dumb column about Brett Favre and went straight for the blurbs...

I loved the All-Star Game the other night, from the Hall of Famers on the field, to George Steinbrenner on the field, to Michael Young's sac fly.

So I guess all that hype you complained about last week was all for nothing?

I ended up sitting in the stands for the last half of it,

Because security wouldn’t let you sit there for the first half?

stayed to the end,

Let’s hear it for Mike Lupica – he actually left his New Canaan house to witness a sporting event in person, and he stayed for the entire game!

I mean, wow.

and had as much fun watching it play out as I've had watching any All-Star Game in any sport.

Did you sit on Wilpon’s lap during the game?

Everybody always seemed to have the bases loaded and there were about four different times when you were sure it was over.

Only then it wasn't, and they played on.

Amazing how sports works like that – you never know how it will end.

Thanks for finally getting up to speed, Mike.

Tell you what, though: I wish I could have been with the commissioner of all baseball, my friend Mr. Selig,

It’s good to know that you aren’t above name-dropping at this point in your career.

Come to think of it, at your height, you aren’t really above anything, are you?

when his home plate umpire called Dioner Navarro out when he was clearly safe, and the game should have ended right there.

That might have been kind of neat.

Neat? Of all the adjectives the Midget of Media could have used, he went with “neat”.

What a dork.

Can somebody explain to me why there is this constant panic rush to write off the 2008 Yankees, who aren't just in the running for a wild card, but to still win the AL East?

Yes, Mike Lupica really wrote this.

It’s like when Dwight Gooden was doing those “Just Say No To Drugs” commercials in the ‘80s while snorting lines between takes.

I think it's sort of official that you're going to see me coming out of the bullpen for the Mets before El Duque does.

Considering when Wilpon says “jump,” you always respond with “how high?”

Actually, replace “jump” and “how high” with “swallow” and “how much.”

I do love it when the Yankees act surprised, and sometimes nearly get the vapors, when aging players start to break down on them.

You mean like El Duque, Pedro Martinez and Felipe Alou?

One more time, for those of you (Lupica) who haven’t been paying attention:

Yankees = 8th oldest team in the league.

Mets = 3rd oldest team in the league.

As always, the I-Team at this paper finds it pretty darn special when it breaks a story like the one it did this week about Kirk Radomski shipping HGH to Roger Clemens' house and then seeing the same news presented as breaking news somewhere else.

Coming from a guy who has never ONCE broken a story, yet will dwell on a topic until the end of time as if it was his own.

How quickly Lupica forgot the reason why Lisa Olsen quit.

Jonathan Papelbon may need a filter on his mouth sometimes, and will never be the darling of Yankee fans, but if there is one thing the young man is not, it is overrated.

Why single out Yankee fans?

The guy is a great pitcher, but he seems to love coming across as a total douche. You don’t have to be a Yankee fan to see this.

No wonder you are standing up for him – he’s your kind of guy!

No matter how much Yankee Stadium sang that to him the other night.

When a guy starts talking about being better than another player, when he clearly is not, then he is overrating himself.

So fuck you.

I'll be off for a week or so working on my second serve.

Second serving of what, “Load ala Wilpon?”

See you in August.

You’ll be missed.

Imus, Crappelbon, Pavano, the usual Yankee bashing crap

One down, two to go!

Now that Mike's coke buddy Imus got the boot from radio, we'll no longer have to hear him over the airwaves - thank god!

Now we just have to figure out a way to get him off TV and out of the newspapers.

This week's worthless piece of crap article by Lupica is all about the cokehead Imus and how the whole apology should have been between Imus and the Rutgers basketball team.

Did Imus get screwed? Yes.

Do I care? HELL NO!

Anything that's bad for Lupica is GOOD for me and good for the Yankees.

Imus had lost his career, at least for now.

Poor Mike - now he can't hear himself come across like a skirt-wearing jackass on the radio.

It was just one more part of this that was all wrong.

On the contrary, Mike - I did a little happy dance, knowing that your connection to the airwaves was cut off like Corzine racing to Imus' suck up session with Rutgers.

No one found his statements acceptable. No one will forget what happened

No one will care a week later, which is basically the case right now.

..and also includes a firing that never should have happened, and solves nothing...
Actually, it solves TWO things -

1. Getting that no-talent corpse Imus off the air, and
2. Getting YOU off the air.

We're all taught as kids to answer bad talk with good talk.

Actually, I was taught "If you dont have anything nice to say, dont say it at all"

I just start websites where I say nasty shit.

The bottom line is this - Imus was a no-talent, and Lupica kissed his ass on the radio and in his piece of crap Sunday column.

That says a lot about the great Mike Lupica.

***

There are some nights when a Billy Wagner ninth inning is more exciting than the last five minutes of '24'

Translation : "I'm too much of a loser to give Mariano Rivera any props".

If you watched Jonathan Papelbon of the Red Sox come out of the bullpen against the Texas Rangers last Sunday night on ESPN, you saw one of the most dominating efforts by a closer you're going to see all season.

Yeah, and if Lupica bothered to mention Opening Day at Yankee Stadium, he could have commented on Rivera striking out the side in the 9th inning.

I think Lupica spent that day getting high on Jose Reyes dirty jock strap, instead of reporting on the Yankees.

You know, the team that OWNS New York?

Well, you could have picked me up off the floor when I found out Pavano was getting pushed back a couple of days with a sore arm.

I'd love to comment on this blurb, but I'm in too much shock...Lupica wrote about Pavano...AGAIN!?!?

How on the money was I with the Carl Pavano joke book?

Get used to it people - we are gonna be reading this shit ALL SEASON.

Sometimes my hamstrings get tight just watching the Yankees play.

Oh, HAHAHAHA I get it!

And sometimes people have the following reaction from reading Mike's column...


Where were the props for ARod?

Oh thats right - Mike cant say anything good about the Yankees.

Just wait until ARod goes hitless in 2 games.

Mike will mention that, and ARod's relationship with Jeter, ARod's fielding, etc, you know, the usual Lupica bullshit slams on the Yankees.

James Dolan again, ARod again, Rivera again...

Sorry about the delay, my hard drive crashed this weekend...

This week's petcage lining was all about how James Dolan is sinking the Garden. Dolan's been doing this for about 6 years now, but somehow Lupica thinks it's headline news.

Once again, leave it to Lupica to rehash an old story!

I guess Lupica can't bash the Yankees because the Mets are looking so sad down in Florida. But, of course, he can slide in a Yankee payroll jab, even when discussing James Dolan!

Call it around a billion dollars spent on basketball and hockey. It is up there with what the Yankees have spent since they last won the World Series

Say it isn't so, Mike! Did you actually mention the "billion dollars" line, again, when referring to the Yankees?

So sad and predictable.

***

I'm not nearly as interested in daily updates on Carl Pavano as I originally thought I was going to be.

Really? Well then maybe you can spare us the mention of his name on a weekly basis?

By the way, you can call me a cockeyed optimist, but I think these recent "no comments" from A-Rod - on Derek Jeter, on Brian Cashman - are a sign of tremendous personal growth.

This coming from a man who stopped growing in the 5th grade.

What the hell does Lupica know about "growth"?

I don't care what Joe Torre's outfield rotation is this season, I just want Melky to play.

That's why you are a writer and not a manager of a sports team.

The Yankees probably were hoping Jonathan Papelbon - the MVP of the first half of the A.L. season a year ago - stayed in the rotation.

Because if Papelbon really was Plan A for the back of the Red Sox bullpen all along, there really was no Plan B. But then, there's no Plan B with the Yanks if anything ever happens to Mo.

What a genius.

Papelbon, aka "Plan A", was, as Lupica puts it, was the MVP of the first half of the season last year. What happened to the second half?

Injury - 22.1 innings pitched.

The Red Sox "Plan B" got them into 3rd place.

What happened to Rivera in the second half of last season?

Injury - 29 innings pitched.

The Yankees "Plan B" won them the division.

So Mike, ENOUGH WITH THE PLAN "A" - PLAN "B" CRAP!

Two weeks in a row we had to read about this - give it up already!!

Worry about the Mets "Plan A" - Wagner is getting smacked around like a little bitch in Spring Training.

Jeez if Rivera had a 5.73 ERA right now like Wagner, Lupica would write an article about it every day for a month!

The same exact article, no less, because Lupica writes the same crap all the time.