Oh my god the BASHING NEVER ENDS!!!

Welcome back, Lupica haters!

Last Friday, the Yankees started a stretch in their schedule where they were going to start playing a bunch of playoff contenders for about a month. Let's take a look at how they made out so far.

8.10.07 - Beat first place Indians on the road - 6-1
8.11.07 - Beat first place Indians on the road - 11-2
8.12.07 - Beat second place Indians on the road - 5-3
8.13.07 - Beat Orioles at home - 7-6
8.14.07 - Lost to Orioles at home - 12-0
8.15.07 - Lost to Orioles at home - 6-3
8.16.07 - Lost to first place Tigers at home - 8-5
8.17.07 - Beat second place Tigers at home- 6-1
8.18.07 - Beat second place Tigers at home - 5-2
8.19.07 - Beat second place Tigers at home - 9-3

So what can we take from this?

1. The Yankees knocked TWO first place teams into second place.

2. So far, during this "rough stretch" of their schedule, they have played .700 ball.

3. Some douche bags (cough cough Sweeny Murti cough) said the rough stretch didn't start until they played Detroit. In that case, the Yankees are playing .750 ball.

4. Before this rough stretch started, the Yankees were six games out of first place...after 10 games, they are now FOUR games out of first (thanks Gagne, your check is in the mail).

You may be asking yourself, "well, this is all great news, but what does it have to do with that little bitch Mike Lupica?" Well guess what? The little fuck never mentions ONE THING about how the Yankees are completely tearing it up, even after wiping their asses with Cleveland and Detroit. We get the SAME BULLSHIT that Lupica thinks is important...payroll, Giambi, payroll, Pavano, payroll...

Gee, Giambi just makes you believe in happy endings all over again, doesn't he?

Oh my GOD give it a fucking rest with Giambi!

He did steroids, he apologized for it, he met with Mitchell about it, he got a nice pat on the back and he is back to playing again.

By the way, you know who DOESN'T make me believe in happy endings?

Mike's little bitch Guillermo Mota; you know, Public Enemy Number One over in Flushing? He got busted for roids, got suspended, got RE-SIGNED by the Mets, and now he is blowing games left and right for Tom Glavine. Come to think of it, Mota's stupid resigning by the Mets IS a happy ending.

Joe Torre is too old to have to answer questions about Gary Sheffield.

Old? Is that the best adjective Lupica could come up with?

How about "smart"?

How about not even asking Torre about Sheffield, since Sheffield is a fucking moron?

God forbid the NY media sticks to things that NY sports fans actually care about.

There was all this thought after the Red Sox got Eric Gagne that the race in the American League East was over.

But now that he's blown three games in his last nine, Red Sox fans are sort of thinking that the race would be over if they'd never gotten the big guy.

This is as close as Lupica gets to giving the Yankees props. God forbid he actually comes right out and says the Yanks are playing great. Lupica dumps all the credit on Gagne.

What a dick.

And now, the moment we've all been waiting for - the weekly "Mention How Much Money The Yankees Like To Spend" moment!

You want to know the difference between the Yankees economy - still - and everybody else's?

They not only spend $52 million on Johnny Damon and $40 million on Carl Pavano and $26 million on Kei Igawa, but when the time comes to write them off, whatever the reasons, it's like some kind of check-writing speed bump.

He could have mentioned how the Yankees filled in open roster spots more than adequately with farm guys like Melky, Shelley Duncan, Hughes, and Chamberlain.

He could have made a favorable comparison to the Yankees trade deadline moves versus the Red Sox getting Gagne.

Haha holy shit! What was I thinking? This is Mike Lupica we're talking about! Haha!

Thank god for Lupica - without him, I would never know anything about Carl Pavano.

There has always been a fair amount of rooting on YES, because that's what you get on all state-run baseball television.

But this year, as the Yankees have come back, there has been more than ever.

I guess this is Lupica's new angle. Since he can't knock the surging Yankees, he'll knock the fucking announcers!?

What the hell, he was bashing the Yankee announcers a few weeks ago too - jeez, who knew that Lupica likes to repeat himself, over and over?

And over?

What a shocker.

I guess it's wrong for the YES announcers to root for the Yankees, but it's ok for a bitch like Lupica to slam them on a weekly basis.

Please.

By the way, while the guys on YES are "rooting" for the Yankees, what the hell is going on in the Mets broadcast booth?

They are an 8-ball and a Wally Backman away from having the entire 1986 team up in there.

Which is kind of ironic - what do the current Mets and the '80s Mets have in common?

They are both massive underachievers.

Yet another topic Lupica wouldn't dare touch on.