Clemens, comparing Yankees and Mets, the ARod/Jeter non-issue...

What a surprise – Lupica wasted his entire article space on Roger Clemens and what it would do to the Yankees average age if they signed him, and how it would compare to the Mets, who are opening their new stadium, Jurassic Park, within the next few years.

How is this a story again, in February? I must have missed the press conference where the Yankees introduced Clemens as their ace.

This is a topic Lupica has touched on a dozen times before, and he can’t seem to let it go. He also can’t seem to stop bashing the Yankees, but this comes as a surprise to no one. As usual, Lupica just regurgitates the same old crap and somehow still collects a paycheck.

Let’s take a look at some excerpts from this week's “Shooting From The Lip” column…

…we read about the old guys, too, because the Yankees and Mets, both of them, will rely mightily on old guys this season: Glavine, El Duque, Pedro, Mussina, Pettitte.

Nobody is relying mightily on Pedro Martinez this season you jackass – he’s going to be out until September.

Let’s examine what’s left of Lupica’s comparison…

Tom Glavine – 41 years old
El Duque – 41 years old (or more)
Average – 41 years old

Mike Mussina – 38 years old
Andy Pettitte – 35 years old
Average – 36.5 years old

Nice comparison, Mike.

Imagine how the average age of everything would go up if the Yankees had hung on to Randy Johnson…

Imagine if the Yankees traded him…oh right, they did. Another moot point – typical Lupica garbage.

We have a lot of fun with how old the Mets are because of Glavine and El Duque and Moises Alou. But the Yankees won't have a starting outfielder under the age of 32.

Another misleading comparison.

Bobby Abreu - 33 years old
Johnny Damon - 33 years old
Hideki Matsui - 33 years old
Average - 33 years old

Shawn Green - 34 years old
Carlos Beltran - 30 years old
Moises Alou - 40 years old
Average - 34.7 years old

See Mike? I can use stats to work in the Yankees favor - thanks for being unbiased!

By the way Mike, can you try to sound more like an adult newspaper columnist and less like an 8 year old arguing with his mother for the last lollipop? “Waah! But you said I could have the last one!”

Clemens told his son Koby, an Astros farmhand, that he was "80-20" against pitching again this season.

Anyone notice how “80-20” has made it’s way onto Lupica’s list of favorite numbers?

Mike Lupica’s Official List of Favorite Numbers:

1. 200 million
2. 80-20

Cashman seems ready to let go of 1996. Not everybody is, apparently.

Yeah, and Yankees fans seem ready to let go of the payroll issue.

Not everybody is, apparently.

When you were reading about the silliness between A-Rod and Capt. Jeter, starting this time when A-Rod got the first word in, didn't you feel as if it were like some sort of baseball, guy sequel to "Mean Girls"?

Oh I see, the A-Rod/Jeter non-story is now considered “silliness”? That’s why you wrote an entire article about it? (“Bombers Best Not Buddies”, 8.19.06) I guess since it’s considered “silliness”, you aren’t going to bring it up again? Yeah, right!

Nice reference to a Lindsay Lohan movie that no self-respecting sports fan would comprehend. (I had to look it up).

Ya think Mike got a discount at the movie theater because he’s the same height as an average 10 year old?