Steroids, proposing to Jose Reyes, Pavano bashing

It’s every Yankee fan’s favorite day of the week – Sunday! Because Sunday means another stupid Shooting From The Lip column by our favorite dwarf, Mike Lupica.

This week, Lupica talks about the steroid bombshell that exploded all over the news last Wednesday. As usual, Lupica waits until Sunday to write about it, long after its been covered to death.

Lupica (of course) has to mention Giambi in the article, because he admitted using steroids…3 friggin years ago!

If it is true about Sarge Matthews' kid, he goes in the headlines now, with Barry Bonds and Mark McGwire and Gary Sheffield and Jason Giambi and all the rest of them.

I guess Mike didn't get the memo that Sheffield has been traded.

Where’s the mention of New York’s latest steroid user, Guillermo Mota? Oh, right, I forgot - Lupica doesn't have time to bash the Mets, only the Yankees.

But of course Lupica has to add a little post-Valentine's Day love note to his new boyfriend, Jose Reyes…

In the first week of March, there is nothing better than turning on the television in the afternoon and seeing Reyes at the plate.

Of course you want to see Reyes at the plate - it's gotta be better than having to stomach their ancient pitching staff.

I wonder how Curt Schilling took it when Lupica dumped him for Reyes?

Speaking of Curt Schilling, isn't it funny how Lupica totally fell for Schilling’s bloody sock, but still has NO CLUE what Giambi apologized for?

Interesting.

Now look at all this work Lupica has to do to come up with a cheap shot at Carl Pavano…

You probably have heard by now that a journeyman pitcher named Matt White, trying to earn a job with the Dodgers, has found out there is 24 million tons of stone ledge on some property he bought.

And that stone ledge like this, used for building faces and sidewalks and stone walls, is insanely valuable and can go for as much as $100 a ton.

While nobody thinks they can get all of this stone ledge out of the ground and make White a billion or so dollars, there is plenty enough to make him a millionaire many times over.

And the way I look at it is this:

This guy could end up richer than Carl Pavano!

Ho ho ho! That's a good one, Mike!

Carl Pavano is the butt of just about every Yankee joke, and Lupica had to check in with his "humor".

Way to be original.

So Lupica thinks Pavano's been overpaid?

How about Daisuke "I've never pitched in the MLB" Matsuzaka?

How about Lupica's last boyfriend from the Red Sox, Josh Beckett? Remember how Mike basically proposed to him? Didn't hear too much about him last season, except when NASA complained about all the homeruns he gave up and are now orbiting around the Earth.

Pavano had injuries; what's Lupica's excuse for Beckett?

Oh, that's right...he just sucks.