Finally, a writer shits on the Mets!

Ever wonder what an objective article about the Mets looks like? (This question is for Lupica.)

This article by Phil Mushnick of the Post warmed my heart, especially after the Mets beat us yesterday.

Let's count how many time he takes a steaming dump on these slackers...

The Mets, since at least the Mike Piazza days, have been a minimalist team.

One.

It's the least they can do.

Two.

And though it's a recidivist and self-evident truth, what you see is apparently just your imagination, yours and a few in the media.

No doubt directed at Lupica.

Mets are always on first base when they should be on second;

Three.

they seldom pressure outfielders to make a frantic throw, the wild one that would place that Mets runner, the one who should have been on second, on third.

Four.

Win or lose, they regularly get out-hustled and out-fundamentaled.

Five.

They neither play nor think hard.

Six.

And then, older but no wiser, they go out there and do it again.

Seven.

The Mets attach the names of precious metals to their ticket pricing - platinum, gold, silver - but they mostly play with hearts and heads of tin.

Eight.

Last season, they colossally blew the season because they lost games to indifferent and thoughtless play.

Nine.

At season's end, Willie Randolph dismissed such an assessment as "media fodder." But what Randolph calls fodder is real.

In the top of the first of Game 1 of this season, there were two out when Carlos Delgado's wind-blown fly to center fell. But as SNY's Gary Cohen and Keith Hernandez duly noted, Luis Castillo, jogging from first, already had surrendered, thus he made third instead of home. Here we go again.

Ten.

And here we are again. If there's a game-winning, season-changing lesson to be learned, it's always lost on the Mets.

Eleven.

Thursday, in a 0-0 game, two outs and Castillo at first, David Wright hit a high fly down the right-field line. Castillo and Wright jogged it out. And when the ball was dropped and the play ended, Wright was at first instead of second, and Castillo, again, was at third instead of scoring. Mets baseball, the Mets being Manny.

Twelve.

Hernandez, who six weeks ago noted that Castillo's two-out jog cost the Mets a 1-0 lead, this time said, "It's a lesson learned." No it isn't.

Thirteen.

And in SNY's post-game, Cohen, Hernandez and Ron Darling incredibly joined Randolph in semi-absolving Castillo, all suggesting that he might not have scored anyway. Good grief, he could have scored skipping hard!

Fourteen.

Regardless, neither Castillo nor Wright minimally forced the last-place Nationals to panic, to make an act-fast throw.

With one out in the bottom of the ninth, the game ended when Carlos Beltran was doubled off third after a line drive to first. Why, with one out, he was heading home on a line drive as opposed to only a ground ball to the right side - if a line drive gets through, he easily scores - never even came up.

There was no fundamentally good reason for Beltran to be breaking for home on a line drive. New York Mets lost, 1-0. Yeah, media fodder.

Holy shit! That was fucking brutal! Watch out Phil, Lupica's gonna go Van Gundy on you!

Thank you for making my day, Phil! There's at least one writer in NY that isn't full of shit!