First and foremost, I want to say that I'm surprised at the topic of this week's "Shooting from the Lip." There's a new Clemens scandal, and we all know about Lupica's "Roger" fascination. But instead, he decides to write about the prices at Yankee Stadium. Screw the long intro, here we go.
There is a very good reason why most Yankee fans don't care how much their team spends on baseball players.
26 World Championships? 39 Pennants? 47 Playoff Appearances? George Steinbrenner winning the National Football Foundation's Gold Fucking Medal? Come on, you thought I wasn't going to reference that every chance I got?
One of the best reasons is that their team keeps asking them - at least the most well-heeled of them - to spend more and more to help pay the freight.
Umm... what? We don't care how much our team spends on players because the team asks us to pay the freight? This makes no fucking sense. These two sentences mean: I don't care how much you spend on players... as long as I'm the one actually paying for it!!! Please, if anybody understands the correlation Lupica's trying to make... e-mail me and explain it. I'm fucking lost. Seriously. And it's upsetting me.
There is a guy I know who has tickets behind the Yankee dugout, has had them for awhile.
Come on Mike, tell us who he is. Give us a name, I dare you for two reasons. (1) I think you're full of shit. I don't think you know anybody who goes to Yankee games. I think you googled some prices so you could bitch about them. (2) If you do, in fact, have a 'friend' sitting behind the plate at Yankee games, I want to know his identity so we can have security ban him from the building. He's fucking up our karma.
Lupica writes a bunch more, detailing the cost increases of Yankee premier ticket plans... but really, what's the fucking point of all this?
Are you telling me that the Mets didn't raise prices after inking Santana to $151M? And they're not going to raise them even more when they move into Shiti Field next year? The Mets have been a laughing stock in baseball for longer than they've been respectable, they're coming off the biggest collapse in late-September history, and they still raised prices.
Part of what you're paying for at Yankee Stadium, is the brand. The New York Yankees are the Calvin Klein Versace Tommy Hilfiger Prada Jackie Chan Marlon Brando D&G of baseball.
The Mets are something like this.
Point is, Lupica meanders on about the prices of seats around the new Yankee Stadium for a page and a half... and then drops this nugget again.
You wonder why Yankee fans don't care what Johan Santana or anybody else on the field costs?
The seats closest to the field are as good place to start as any.
So again, Lupica's entire point is: Yankee fans don't care how much players cost... because the more money the Yankees spend on players, the more expensive tickets will get. You nailed it on the head Mike. I hope the Yankees sign Darren Erstad to a 80 year, $6.4 Trillion dollar contract! Then I can spend the GNP of Liechtenstein on bleacher seats! Hooray!!!
You know, Clemens isn't the only Roger that Lupica is obsessed with. For the record though, how is it Rusty Hardin's fault that Clemens did steroids and boffed a 15-year old girl? Are you trying to tell me that this is the sort of legal advice that Rusty Hardin gives?
Clemens: I'm totally going to get sued Rusty. I just hit a parked car. What should I do?
Rusty: Well Roger, if I were you, I'd do some steroids and boff a 15-year old girl.
Clemens: How's that going to help with me getting sued for hitting a parked car?
Rusty: How the hell should I know. I just want to do steroids and boff 15-year old girls! Giggity-giggity-goo!!! Alllllright!!!
The hot romance between Phil Hughes and a whole bunch of Yankee fans has cooled at a record pace, even for the big bad city.
Yeah, I know, right? The fucking nerve of that scumbag Phil Hughes to have a shitty April and break a rib! Phil Hughes is a selfish douchebag! And to think, just two weeks ago I got slapped with a restraining order for masterbating outside his apartment because I was so in love with him!!
You know what Billy Wagner did when he spoke up about Oliver Perez the other day?
Created a gigantic clubhouse rift? Fucked up team chemistry? Earned the nickname, "The White Gary Sheffield"? Made the author of this page cry?
He spoke for pretty much all Mets fans.
Fuck the heck!?
Next week The Today Show is going to do a week-long series called, "Where in the world is Robinson Cano?"
He's in Liechtenstein with Carlos Beltran! As reader, Mark P. was kind enough to point out, Cano has only 3 hits less than Beltran (and the same number of homers). Except that Beltran earns enough money to sit in the premium seats at the New Yankee Stadium! Carlos Delgado's really tearing it up lately too.
Maybe it's April, and Cano is traditionally a slow starter. Or maybe he's hiding in a cave in Uzbekistan.
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