Yup, that's what we're callin' this today! Bloggin' from the Lip! We're gonna shoot down Mike Lupica's fun facts and random comparisons like fish in a barrel! Woo hoo! Aren't you excited? Lets get right to brass tacks gentlemen (and all 3 ladies who are reading this):
Bill Belichick talking about an old video assistant of his named Matt Walsh suddenly sounds like Roger Clemens talking about an old trainer of his named Brian McNamee.
Are you sure Mike? Are you sure he didn't sound like Jason Giambi giving "The Apology"? Or like Andy Pettitte confessing about using a little bit of HGH when he really used a lot? You know who Bill Belichick definitely DOESN'T sound like? Darryl Strawberry and Doc Gooden apologizing for snorting the Mets chance at a dynasty in the late 1980's. Because they never talked about that.
Matt Walsh may not be one of nature's noblemen. Neither was Jose Canseco.
Lupica's entire premise here is to compare Belichick videotaping defensive signals to steroids in baseball. Because everything is about fucking steroids in baseball. Literally everything. Here's an average conversation between Mike Lupica and one of those so-called "friends" he always claims to have.
Imaginary Friend: Hey Mike Lupica!
Mike Lupica: Hi Imaginary Friend!!
IF: So what do you think of those Tampa Bay Rays! In first place! Ha ha!!
ML: Yeah! It's like they're on steroids or something!!
IF: *sigh* Lets talk about something else... you see that Matt Walsh came out of the closet?
ML: Yeah! Just like when Jose Canseco told us about steroids in baseball!!
IF: *bangs head into wall* Yeah... so Hillary still won't drop out of the Democratic primaries...
ML: She's just like Roger Clemens... refusing to admit that he took steroids!
IF: *kills self with imaginary gun*
ML: Dammit! That's the fourteenth imaginary friend this week! They're dropping like baseball players on steroids!!
Now Belichick goes after Walsh the way Clemens went after McNamee, the way Clemens is still after McNamee.
Really? Belichick is suing Walsh for defamation of character? No? Then I guess it's nothing like the way Clemens is going after McNamee.
No one is suggesting that this kind of cheating is as systemic as drug cheating became in baseball over the last 15 years.
No one is suggesting that I go and masturbate on the salad bar at Wendy's either. What's your fucking point? And what's so "systemic" about a bunch of guys taking steroids? Do you think it was some kind of covert operation? Like a Rambo movie? To liberate the Stanozolol from North Vietnam? Hahaha... you can't have Stanozolol without a great big LOL!!
People can bounce Billy Wagner all over town for some of the things he's said in the past and some of the things he said this week.
Oh, you mean because he tore up a teammate for the second time in like 2 weeks? And he's basically got a reputation as the White Gary Sheffield? And that he's throwing teammates under the bus to boost rating for his radio show?
But there is a little bit of Yogi in Wagner, in this way:
No matter how it comes out, you always know exactly what he means.
Umm... what? Fuck... you're really going to defend him again? Seriously?
The bottom line here is that the Mets need more guys like Wagner, not fewer.
More guys like Wagner? I want to help. So here's a list of team-first guys who are currently out of work. I'm sure each of them could help the Mets despite their age and injuries, because it's about personality!
Rickey Henderson, Albert Belle, Carl Everett, Jose Offerman (Once his probation ends), Roger Clemens, John Rocker, Jose Canseco.
That's seven more guys like Wagner. The Mets will never lose again. Unless Albert Belle eats David Wright... then it could get ugly.
Hillary Clinton is no longer running for President, she's running for Vice President.
I really think we're about a week away from learning that Hillary Clinton took steroids. There's no other reason for Lupica to talk about her so much. Look at the guys he talks about: Clemens, Giambi, Pettitte, Isiah Thomas, A-Rod, Hillary Clinton. Steroids, Steroids, Steroids, Crack-Rock, accused of steroids (by Canseco, who might be motivated to lie by money, the fact that A-Rod fucked his wife, etc.), ???
So she took 'roids, right Mike?
It comes out now that Jason Giambi likes to wear a gold thong when he's trying to come out of a hitting slump, and I'm pretty sure Congressman Vito Fossella does the same thing.
Mike? Are you upset that they don't make thongs in your size? I think you are. I think you're just jealous because while Jason Giambi and Vito Fossella get to try on big boy underwear, you're still stuck wearing your Batman Underoos.
But yeah... the thong story was a little weird. Especially that he shares it with other guys. I don't share a TAXI with other guys...
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