Let's Salute Baseball Fans

Question: What do you get when you get high-fived by a midget?

Answer: A giant smack in the balls.

This one is for the baseball fans of New York City, who keep coming no matter what

Tell me, in what city have fans decided to stop coming to games?

who sometimes are even a bigger story than the teams they come to watch.

Like the stupid Mets fans, who still think they are a great team.

Everybody talks about the 1950s in New York…

I know what you’re saying! I mean, on Christmas Eve at the in-laws, all everyone talked about was the 1950’s in New York! I kinda felt bad for all the other decades that were left out of the conversation.

At one point I even said “that reminds me about this one time in the 1940’s…”

All I got were dirty looks.

You want to pick the real Sportsman of the Year in New York? It is those eight million strong, men and women and children.

They stayed with their teams until the very end

Uh oh…I sense a small diss regarding the historical collapse of the playoff-less 2007 Mets, and a book about the failures of the Yankees.

stayed even past that dreadful first inning from Tom Glavine on that last Sunday at Shea Stadium, stayed as the inevitable for the Mets — everything that had been happening for the past 16 games - became truly inevitable against the Marlins.

So many Mets fans stayed all the way until the bitter end, and there had never been a baseball ending this bitter for a New York team, at least not since the Dodgers finally blew it all to the Giants in 1951.

But you wouldn’t know it from reading Lupica’s column, considering he chalked up the collapse to “bad luck”, not “bad team”.

The Yankees did better than the Mets

Wow, that had to hurt.

At least it sounds like Loopy is going to at least acknowledge the Yankees amazing comeback from an awful first half.

Or Arod’s amazing season.

Or the emergence of Joba.

then couldn’t get past the first round of the playoffs again, couldn’t get past the first round for the third year in a row, couldn’t win one round with another $200 million team.

So instead of talking about the best comeback this city has seen in years, we get the same bullshit about first round exits and $200 million payroll.

How many years do you think Lupica would get if plagiarizing yourself was illegal?

In Boston they are now convinced that Fenway Park, the scene of an amazing celebration of baseball for every home game the Red Sox play, has now become the de facto capital of the sport. The Red Sox have now won two World Series since 2004, won two since the Yankees won their last in 2000 and seem set up to win more than that over the next few years.

Wow, when I read the first sentence of this article (“This one is for the baseball fans of New York City”) I kind of assumed it would be an article about the baseball fans of New York City.

Anyone think Lupica mentioned how many more World Series the Marlins had won than the Mets in 2003, since the Mets last won in 1986?

No, but I bet the number 200 million was mentioned at least twice in that 2003 October article.

So it was not just the history of this rivalry that changed after the Yankees were ahead 3-0 in the American League Championship Series of ’04, it was the current history of baseball. It is one reason that Hank Steinbrenner has come out of the gate spending money like this, spending as much in any offseason as the old man ever did, would be willing to spend more on Johan Santana. He wants to take something back from the Red Sox.

Seriously, can this asshole EVER write ANYTHING positive about a team that has made the postseason THIRTEEN FUCKING YEARS IN A ROW!?

Saluting baseball fans in New York City?!

Thanks Mike.

Just kick us in the nuts next time.

They sell out the whole season in Boston.

Under 39,000 seats and the only baseball team in town? How is this worth mentioning?

They sell the tickets they sell and would probably sell as many as the Yankees if they had a ballpark as big as the old Yankee Stadium, or the new one.

“Sell…sell…sell!?!?” Ever see “Marathon Man”?

Their teams break their hearts - and, in the case of the 2007 Mets, their legs, too - and they keep coming.

Um, you forgot to mention the 2006 Mets.
The 2005 Mets.
The 2004 Mets.

Oh fuck it, all TWENTY (!!!) Mets teams since 1986.

Is it time to say $200 million again, Mike?

The Sportsman of the Year isn’t A-Rod. It’s the people who watch him play. And pay his salary. This one is for them.

Once again, thanks Mike, we appreciate the compliment.

By “compliment”, I mean “smack in the balls”.

* * *

Just hearing George Carlin on Imus the other week with his unique - and screamingly funny - take on steroids in baseball has me ready for his next HBO special already.

OH hahhaha that old bag Imus sure is funny…

Did they give their take on their overdoses of cocaine and booze too?

If I were the people making the decision for the Mets about who should work with Howie Rose on radio next season, the star search would end with a great young guy named Jon Schiambi, whom I first heard doing Marlins games.

And thanks for the great insight on WHY you would hire him.

Way to expand on your opinion. Dick.

Whenever we go more than few days without hearing from Hank Steinbrenner, I just assume he forgot to get his flu shot.

Oh hahaha! I see you still suscribe to the Imus “book of humor”, which states “being funny is optional’.

Happy New Year.

Fuck you, midget.

The difference between the Yankees and Red Sox

Welcome back, Lupica haters!

You knew it wouldn't be long until Lupicock would start crying about Yankee payroll, since they committed the ultimate sin by signing players!

The evil Empire strikes again!!!!

The Yankees have already spent $400 million the past few weeks and you know what that means, right?

It means 400 million will replace 200 million as the most overused number in Mike's weekly piece of shit article?

They're ready to spend more!

I’ll laugh my ass off if the Red Sox make the deal for Santana.

Lupica won’t say anything about it, except how much of a “magician” Theo Epstein is.

They're ready to break the bank for Johan Santana and thereby go against all the data on signing starting pitchers to longterm deals.

Right – and I remember when you wrote that article slamming the Red Sox for breaking the bank for Dice K.

Haha, just kidding. You never wrote that article.

$51 million just to talk to him.

Please.

Why?

Because they want him.

Genius.

Why else?

Because the Red Sox do.

So again, why slam just the Yankees? Why not lump the Red Sox in too? What happens if the Red Sox get him? Will you just ignore it, like every other time you’ve fucked up with your stupid assumptions?

Why won't Santana break down sometime during the length of his contract?

Because he's going to be a Yankee, that's why.

Yes, let’s assume every player who gets a longterm contract is gonna break down. That’s why your Mets didn’t go after Vlad Guerrero. How’d that work out for your Flushing bitches?

You want to know why the Yankees lose money on their baseball operation despite drawing 4 million fans a year to Yankee Stadium, why they need to be propped up by their network?

Now Mike is concerned the Yankees lost money this season? Aww, thanks Mike! Who knew you cared, ya filthy midget fuck!

Because of an offseason like this, when they are prepared to spend half-a-billion dollars on four baseball players:

A-Rod.
Posada.
Rivera.
Santana.

Three of those four are Hall of Famers, and two of those four are in their prime.

I know they’re not as good as, say, Brian Schneider and Ryan Church (for Lastings Milledge HAHA!!!) but they aren’t exactly chopped liver.

By the way, didn’t the Mets look into trying to get Santana and Posada?

Didn’t Mets fans have visions of Arod in that putrid blue and orange uniform?

If the Mets had any money or any players worth trading, they could have made all these deals too. And you would have loved it.

Johan Santana is a great pitcher, no doubt.

So SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY.

He isn't the Bionic Man just because the Yankees want him, and the Red Sox might get him.
See? There’s a difference – the Yankees want him, the Red Sox only might get him.

Red Sox, good…Yankees, BAD!!!

I've got a friend I write about sometimes,

Bullshit. You have no friends.

called Sweeney the Yankee Guy.

Sounds like a douche.

He sent me this e-mail the other day, when he found out what the Yankees were willing to give up in young guys for Santana:

Again, look at what the Red Sox are willing to give up, you stupid dick!

"The Yankees will never rebuild from within until this Steinbrenner is suspended."

Ask your retard of a “friend” when was the last time the Yankees starting pitching staff was made up of 3 to 5 homegrown guys? Wang, Joba, Kennedy, Hughes, and if you want to add Pettitte, that’s FIVE. If you take out Pettitte and Hughes, that’s still THREE.

That’s not building from within?

Your “friend” is an asshole.

And so are you Mike.

Article by some other Yankee hating bitch.

Look! It's a writer who aspires to be as stupid and annoying
(and anti-Yankees) as Mike Lupica!

While we’re waiting for Lupica to dislodge his foot from his mouth after Arod told Boras to take a hike, we found a new asshole to bust on.

Here’s an article by Tim Brown, a brainiac from Yahoo! Sports…

Yankees' horror show looking like a sequel

A lot of fans considered the Yankees’ 2007 season to be one of the most exciting.

Glad to know you thought it was a horror show.

The horror show was actually playing at a different baseball stadium not too far away.

On the occasion of Alex Rodriguez's third American League MVP award and with his contract negotiations by now presumably in the seventh-inning stretch, this is a good time to consider what it is A-Rod so desperately desired to come back to.

How about the best chance at getting to the playoffs all ten years of his new contract?

The New York Yankees have lost 13 of their last 17 playoff games and basically dismissed their iconic manager because of it,

They didn’t “dismiss” Torre, you numbnuts, Torre turned down their more than generous offer.

and they just spent nearly $400 million to put the same product back on the field, only with potentially less pitching.

“Potentially less” pitching?

I don’t see Pavano or Igawa anywhere near Yankee Stadium, do you?

I see Joba, Kennedy and Hughes…I didn’t see them in the beginning of 2007.

By the way…

…anyone with half a brain knows that “potentially less” is the same thing as saying “potentially more”. It can go either way.

You just chose to put a negative spin on it to suit your less than stellar article.

Oh, and you also hate the Yankees. Which makes you a biased dick.

So, for the seventh consecutive winter the Yankees are working their way back from something less than a parade.

Along with about twenty five other teams.

Where’s your article about the Mets, yet again doing NOTHING with the NL’s highest payroll, for the 5th consecutive year?

Yes, the champion – again – is in Boston.

Again?

And here I thought the Cardinals won the year before.

Silly me.

The manager is in L.A.

Newsflash, asshole – Joe Torre, the guy who brought NO titles to the Yankees in the last seven years, IS NOT THE MANAGER OF THE YANKEES.

I love it. The Yankees don’t win the series for seven years and it everyone's fault except Joe Torre's, just because he decided to leave.

The ace of the staff – in standing if not numbers – is in Houston.

Roger Clemens is, too.

If they brought Clemens back, you would have thought it was a GOOD idea?

Jeez you are a dumb confused bitch.

They haven't been among the top five earned-run average staffs for four years, and in those four consecutive playoff series losses have had an ERA under 5 once. Their ERA against the Cleveland Indians this October was nearly 6.

Wait a minute! Are you trying to say there is a direct correlation between playoff series losses and poor pitching?!?!

NO WAY.

So THAT’S how you got a job writing about sports!

Hughes had a 2.73 ERA in September (beware the September numbers)

What the fuck does that even mean?

Chamberlain was sensational when not shellacked in insects.

True

Kennedy was great in three September starts, against Tampa Bay, Kansas City and Toronto.

Great! This all suggests that we’ll be better off than we were in the beginning of 2007, where our starting pitchers in the first month were:

Pavano
Pettitte
Mussina
Igawa
Rasner
Pavano
Wright
Karstens
Wang
Hughes

(Arod) being there will help.

Arod will "help"?

Ya think, genius?

The Yankees had better hope he brings his bat, though.

What…the…fuck…

Tim Brown, you are a stupid asshole.

Youth served as Phil Hughes bails out Roger Clemens

Low-paid rookie saves Joe Torre's job and Yankees' season.

This stupid ass article is about how Phil Hughes supposedly saved Joe Torre from extinction by putting forth a great effort in relief of Roger Clemens, whose hamstring wouldn't allow him to pitch more than 3 innings.

Phil Hughes, because he is a "low paid rookie".

Because, you see, a high priced veteran is not worthy of being called a hero in Mike Lupica's beady little eyes.

I'm not taking anything away from Phil Hughes; he did a great job in relief.

But...Where are the kudos for Johnny Damon? The guy went 3 for 4 with FOUR RBI!!

He basically hit a back-breaking three run home run, the one lone offensive bright spot in this series. The entire article was about Phil Hughes, and Johnny Damon, the one with the big contract who gets smacked around all the time by Lupica, barely gets a mention.

It was 2-0 for Cleveland by then, and long since obvious at Yankee Stadium that Clemens, pitching with a bad hamstring, pitching with an old man's legs and an old man's rag arm on this night, wasn't going to save Torre or the season or anything else.

This was before Johnny Damon tried to hit one to Gerard Avenue, before Damon hit the 3-run homer that really changed everything in Game 3 against the Indians.

What was that Lupica? What did Damon do?

Damon hit the 3-run homer

A three run homer!? Wow! That must have had quite an impact on the game Mike!

that really changed everything

Everything?

everything

Oh, but he gets paid a lot of money, so let's just gloss over what he did.

It's okay to give credit where credit's due, even if the player is due millions of dollars.

More Clemens bullshit

Here is Mike's take on Clemens pitching tonight.

Oh Christ, does anyone still care about his opinion on the Yankees, since it's just an unbelievably biased load of HORSE SHIT????

Clemens gets the ball against the Indians tonight. Even in the first round, it is the biggest game he has ever pitched for the Yankees, the one he made sound like it was practically his civic duty to come back and pitch when he announced his Yankee comeback, to all manner of Yankee foofaraw and fanfare, one Sunday afternoon at the Stadium.

Er, how is Game 3 of the 2007 ALDS more important than Game 7 of the 2001 World Series?

Retard.

Now Clemens, who hasn't pitched since Sept. 16, who was paid a million bucks a start to come back and has produced exactly six victories so far and a 6-6 record, isn't asked to put the Yankees ahead of the Indians. He is asked to keep the Yankee season, one he pledged to come back and save, very much alive.

Pedro Martinez 2007 "Fun Facts!"
Starts – five
Wins – three
Salary - $14 million
Pay per start - $2.8 million

Owned.

The Yankees look to him, and he has won big October games for the Yankees before - remember Game 2 against the Mets in the Subway Series of 2000?

Wha??

Game 2 of the World Series is huge? After winning Game 1?

Talk first about Clemens, asked to win the Geezer Game that Tom Glavine could not win for the Mets one week ago.

Tom Glavine couldn’t win, Pedro Martinez couldn’t win, El Duque couldn’t win…

Can they come back? After everything that has happened since the Yankees last won it all, I still think they will.

But don’t worry – if the Yankees blow it, good ole Mikey will be writing articles about it until the end of time.

One of the most famous starters in all of baseball history is supposed to save a season tonight.

Well, here’s the thing.

Clemens had to leave the game due to an injury.

DUE TO AN INJURY.

He didn’t fail because he sucked.

But…let’s look at players who DID fail, not because of injury, but because they SUCKED…

Jose Reyes, September 2007 - .205 BA. A total loser when he’s needed.

Pedro Martinez, September 27 – Needed a win against the lowly Cardinals, Pedro gets the loss.

Tom Glavine, September 30 – Got lit up like a dirty bitch in the last game of the season, effectively ending the Mets year.

* * *

How's Kaz Matsui looking these days?

Looks to me like he’s still playing, something I can’t say about Jose Reyes.

While we're on the subject of the Mets…

FINALLY, Mike is finally going to rip them to shreds, for folding at the end of the season like little bitches, for having the highest payroll in the NL and not even making the playoffs, for Jose Reyes playing worse than, well, worse than Kaz Matsui…

Before the business of next season begins in earnest, there is still a lot of work to be done this past season.

And that means Fred Wilpon, Jeff Wilpon, Omar Minaya and Willie Randolph - just the four of them, nobody else from the front office - have to get together in a room and sort things out.

That’s all we get?

Actually Mike said some more shit, but it was lame, and it CERTAINLY wasn’t knocking the Mets.

Jose Reyes went from being called the most exciting player in baseball, and even a possible MVP candidate…

Well, who was the dumb midget turd who said something stupid like that?

Please Mike, don’t act like it wasn’t you who was trying to get a reach-around from Reyes.

Jeez, you never say anything bad about Reyes – what’s the matter, he didn’t swallow last night?

…to being the third-best shortstop in his own DIVISION.

Well that’s what happens when you are in a powerhouse division like, uh, the, uh, NL East.

Oh, and that’s also what happens when you OVERRATE a player.

And it all seemed to happen faster than Reyes can go from first to third.

Ah - I knew you would sneak a compliment in there somehow. Nice touch – maybe he’ll swallow now.

Speaking of which – remember when Mr. Lupica said the following about Jose Reyes?

"In the first week of March, there is nothing better than turning on the television in the afternoon and seeing Reyes at the plate." – Shooting From The Lip, 3.4.07

Check out what was in today’s column…

there is still nothing better on a Sunday afternoon than watching Brett Favre - the Cal Ripken of his sport and the Henry Aaron of his sport - throw a football around the way he is right now for the Packers.

If you have Brett Favre in fantasy football, I think it’s time to unload him.

Maybe somebody needs to tell Tom Coughlin that he has absolutely no chance of keeping his job, and that bringing him back was the dumbest idea since "Temptation Island."

Dude, get the HELL out of your house. These reality TV references are getting creepy.

Go play ball or something outside with your kids…

…if they aren’t too embarrassed to be seen with you in public.

Enough Bullshit About Payroll

For years we've had to endure the same payroll bullshit from Mike The Douche Lupica.

The Yankee payroll is $200 million - every week, every month, every year, every article we have to hear about it. We get it. We did a little research about the Mets payroll - and guess what? Time to shove it up your ass, Mike.

You see, while the Yankees have had the highest payroll in the league, they have also made the playoffs every year.

Here's a quick breakdown for those of you (Lupica) who don't fucking get it.

(Click on the image, dumbass.)

Now, here's a breakdown of what the Mets have done since they last made the world series. I can't go all the way back to when they last WON the world series, for fear of crashing my hard drive.

(Click again, genius.)

So that's about three-quarters of a BILLION DOLLARS, and ONE PLAYOFF APPEARANCE!?

ONE DIVISION TITLE!?

TWO LAST PLACE FINISHES!?

And yet we have to hear, on a weekly fucking basis, how much the YANKEES LIKE TO SPEND!?

Mike, you are a fucking joke.

Go tell your golf buddy, Fred Wilpon, we said hi.

May be A-Rod's last shot to help Bombers opt into Series

Hello Lupica haters! Well look at this - no kissing the ass of Reyes, so you know what THAT means...

It's October Baseball time!

That's right! The time of year when the Yankees are getting ready to play and the Mets are getting ready to play golf.

It's also the time of year when Lupica starts to really hammer the Yankees, because his Mets are, once again, left out.

This article is all about, surprise, ARod!

In three Octobers with the Yankees, Alex Rodriguez has won nine postseason games.

Total.

You mean the Yankees won nine postseason games. Total.

Last time I checked, baseball is a team sport, numbnuts. One player cannot win a game by himself. Not even your butt buddy Jose Reyes, as we all saw this past September.

The most expensive baseball player in this world, the most famous this side of Barry Bonds because of the season he just had, now tries to do much better than that, starting tomorrow night against the Indians. So do the Yankees.

So wait - you are trying to say the Yankees AND Arod are trying to do better this postseason?Get the hell out of here - what a job uncovering that incredible story!

Mike is like Clark Kent, a newspaper writer who has the ability to turn into a super hero!!!

LOOK!!! Up in the sky!!!

It's a bird…

it's a plane…

it's…Repetitive Man!

Their payroll is always around $200 million.

Faster than a speeding bullet!!!

…we will see how aging starting pitching stands up for the Yankees at this time of year.

More powerful than a locomotive!!!

We will see about Roger Clemens, if and when he pitches, if the Family Guy can win the kind of postseason game for the Yankees that Randy Johnson - who was supposed to be the lefthanded Clemens here - never did in his 40s.

Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound!!!

What a douche. The same shit, over and over.

Is everything (Arod's) fault? Not on your life. No one has ever suggested that it is.

This coming from a guy who (more than) once said this -

…here is the progression for A-Rod, such as it is, since the Yankees made the big trade for him:

2004: Lose in the ALCS to the Red Sox, blowing a 3-0 lead in the process, the most epic calamity in the history of the organization.

2005: Lose in the first round of the playoffs to the Angels.

2006: Lose in the first round of the playoffs to the Tigers.

Tell me again how this is NOT suggesting it's ARod's fault?

But it is also fair to say that if he had done anything against the Angels, if he had somehow provided one huge offensive game against the Tigers - and why shouldn't we expect that from him? - then everything might have been different and the Yankees might already have their 27th world championship.

Maybe if ANYONE did ANYTHING MORE in those series, you wouldn't be writing this dumb fucking article, for the tenth time.

We know you love to lay the blame on Arod, because the Yankees made a great deal to get him, and because he has outperformed your bitch over in Flushing.

By the way, we're all waiting for the article(s) where you dump on Reyes for blowing the 2007 season for the Mets.

No one ever thought after the Subway Series of 2000 that the Yankees, spending the way they did, adding Randy Johnson in that time and Mussina and Johnny Damon and Hideki Matsui and Jason Giambi and Gary Sheffield, could ever go six years without winning it all.

The Mets spent more than everyone in the NL since they lost the World Series in 2000 - how has all that spending worked out for them?

Nobody thought Alex Rodriguez could go three years as a Yankee without a ring.

That's why people watch baseball - anything can happen.

Arod could go three years as a Yankee without a ring, the Mets can outspend all NL teams for SEVEN YEARS and only have ONE POSTSEASON to show for it.

Funny how you only mention the Yankees.

Fuck you.

Who Else Hates Mike Lupica?

I'm always doing research on this little punk ass bitch, hoping to find something I can use against him, other than the obvious (shortness, always hammering the Yankees, being in love with Reyes, shortness, etc) and I recently stumbled upon some funny shit.I've heard about former ESPNer Jason Whitlock talking shit about Mike Lupica. In case you missed it, here is what he said about Lupidouche...

Q: In one of your most memorable appearances on The Sports Reporters, you got into a tiff with Mike Lupica and Mitch Albom when you said sports was just ‘entertainment.’ Lupica told you to go work on ‘Entertainment Tonight.’ You haven’t appeared with either of them since. Have the three of you kissed and made up?

Whitlock: I don't have a problem with Mitch Albom. Lupica is an insecure, mean-spirited busybody. He's upset because I put a clown suit on him on that show and in a follow-up column I wrote for ESPN. His little disingenuous overreaction to an opinion I'd stated previously on the show was staged to try to put me in a bad light. I guess no one had ever informed Mike that the 'E' in ESPN stood for Entertainment. The Little Fella probably won't let the producer (Joe Valerio) have me back on the show again. That's cool. They're mostly upset that I wouldn't participate in their Barry Bonds witch hunt and help them single Bonds out as the creator of steroids. Lupica doesn't like to be disagreed with, and he's spoken so abusively to that producer for years that the producer probably doesn't realize people are allowed to disagree with Lupica. I enjoyed my time on the show. But if the price of admission is stepping to Lupica's drum, I'm more than happy to go without.

Pretty funny shit!

Anyway, here's another sports reporter dishing the dirt on turd burglar Lupica...New York Post's very own Mike Vaccaro...I have no idea who asked him this question, but who gives a shit...

Q: We have to ask about Lupica. There are at least two other NY-area writers who wanted to do interviews with us, but wouldn’t because of the Lupica question. Are you and Lupica on speaking terms? We’ve got our own theories as to why the masses detest the guy, but do you have any idea as to why he’s so loathed? At the same time … how much of a rivalry is there between the sports guys at both papers?

Vaccaro: I can only speak for myself here, but there are two problems I have with what’s become of him. First, and foremost, is that he simply doesn’t put nearly as much time or effort into the column as he once did. That’s indisputable. He does TV. He writes books, sometimes two a year. He writes his left-wing screeds in the Daily News on Wednesdays. So it’s clear the column suffers for that. He hardly ever travels. He hasn’t covered one Knicks game in person this year, despite ripping them every week. And that’s just the obvious symptoms. Beyond that, I’ve heard him give his explanation for why he doesn’t show up as often anymore, and it’s essentially this: After nearly 30 years writing a column in New York, he’s not going to see anything he hasn’t already seen before. And to me, that not only insults those of us who do think it’s worthwhile to get to the ballpark and the arena—specifically the other columnists at the News who have to make up for the work he finds so unnecessary and inconsequential—but it’s an affront to the very essence of column writing, which is to be accountable and available, to be there.The other issue I have, frankly, is the way he treats people. I’ve been around too many good, talented people who also write columns for a living—Dave Anderson leaps to mind, and Harvey Araton, and Filip Bondy, and Mark Kriegel, and Bob Ryan, Steve Serby, and Bill Plaschke; it’s a substantial list—who believe that treating others properly is just as much a part of having a high-profile job as anything else. They won’t throw a public fit if they don’t like the seat they’ve been given. They won’t threaten to have people fired in a hissy fit. One of the great ironies, to me, is that Mike made his bones in this business by standing up to Dick Young, who in his declining years became a bitter ideologue who took great pleasure in ripping other writers in his columns. Young, I have to believe, is having a great laugh right now whenever he reads Lupica writing about “the coverage” of the local teams from high atop his Connecticut perch.

As for our relationship, we have none. It ended when I came to the Post, he started lobbing subtle, stupid shots at me in his “Lip” column and I started returning fire in my Sunday column. It’s unfortunate. The guy used to be a hero of mine.

Holy SHIT!! That is GOLD, JERRY!!! If anyone else finds any dirt on butt pirate Lupica, please email it to me.

We'll all have a good laugh at his expense!

From: JTPYX 1977:

I'm at college and the guy in the room next door is a jounalism major. He's writing a paper on Sports Journalism and he calls a young Daily News columnist, Mike Lupica. Believe it or not, Lupe is cool and helps my dorm-mate out.

1987:As a Jet fan, I travel to CLE to watch the JETS play the Browns in the playoffs. It was a SATURDAY game. The Giants are playing the next day so the whole NY press corps is on the plane with us the next morning....heading back to NY at 7:30. I see Lupica struggling to put something in the overhead (he's actually so short he'd have trouble putting something UNDER his seat) and I say, "You look a lot like Mike Lupica." Ever gracious, he fucking ignores me....(I'm 2 feet away)....so, I follow up with, "Dont'cha?" He snottily replies, "Yeah, I'm his twin brother." Turns out the shithead has the seat right next to me, so he's stuck with the "reader" for 2 hrs or so. What a douchebag.

1997: I get a job in media and I have the chance to go to JET games in the press box. Lupe doesn't make it out to too many things but one day....there he is....front and center in the press box at the M'lands. He's so attention-starved that he never shuts the fuck up. Talking loudly and constantly he just makes a pest of himself to the 50 people w/in earshot. I've been to about 20 games in the press box and he's the only one with the "look at me - look at me" diva-vibe going on. What a punk.

Mets' last stop on the 7 train

Mets come up with unlucky 7's everywhere.

Unlucky.

This is how the Mets got to where they are - as in, “out of the playoffs”.

It had nothing to do with their 17 game free fall.

It had nothing to do with Reyes turning into Rafael Santana in September.

It had nothing to do with Glavine being “disappointed” in the Mets final game of the season, where he gave up 7 runs in the first inning.

It had nothing to do with Omar Minaya carelessly spending $115,231,663 on a team that couldn’t beat the lowly Marlins and Nationals in the last two weeks of the season.

No, in the sad lonely world of Mike Lupica, the Mets are now officially out of the playoffs because of bad luck.

Can you imagine the nasty article we would have gotten if the Yankees folded?

How many times were we reminded by Lupicock that this season would be on the head of the players, coaches, and management if they didn’t make the playoffs?

How often did we have to hear these two numbers – 200 million, and 1 billion?

The Yankees have spent a billion dollars in the last 6 years, and what do they have to show for it?

At least they make the fucking playoffs.

The Mets spent ¾ of a billion dollars in the last 6 years.

What did they get for that?

One division title.

One.

One second place finish. (The most money ever spent without making the playoffs).

One third place finish.

One fourth place finish.

TWO LAST PLACE FINISHES.

Will Mikey mention the payroll in this final Mets article?

Will he talk about how they are now the proud owners of the worst collapse in MLB history?
This wasn't what the Mets were supposed to be on the last day of the season." Considering they absolutely SUCKED the last two weeks, why is Mikey surprised?

This wasn't supposed to be the end of baseball at Shea.

Newsflash – baseball ended at Shea on September 14.

There was at least supposed to be another game in Philadelphia, one more chance to win the National League East.

No, bitch.

No.

When you have a 7 game lead and cough up EIGHT games, it’s over Johnny… OVER!

But that chance was gone after the top of the first inning yesterday, gone when it was 7-0 for the Marlins against Tom Glavine; now these last innings were the last part of it for the Mets, as bad an ending as any New York sports team has ever had.

Let’s be honest – the WORST ending any New York sports team has ever had.

Now it was officially ending for them inside Shea an inning at a time and an out at a time, even though you knew it had really ended in the top of the first yesterday.

Please.

You counted the Yankees out in May.

You waited till the last day of September to count the Mets out, even though they mailed it in 2 weeks ago?

So observant.

Now down the steps in the top of the seventh came Giana Luca of Whitestone. She is 75 and was with her family, and goes all the way back with her Mets, can still tell you all about the day, a much better baseball day than this, when Gary Carter came into the candy store she used to own in Corona.

You know why Lupica had to interview a 75 year old?

Because the Mets HAVEN’T WON A WORLD SERIES IN 21 YEARS - NO ONE ELSE THERE WAS OLD ENOUGH TO REMEMBER IT.

She came in with the Mets at the Polo Grounds and has had all these years at Shea, and now here she was outside what will be her team's new home, a spectacular new home, in 2009.

Spectacular new home!?

Your team just FOLDED LIKE FUCKING CARDBOARD IN THE LAST TWO WEEKS OF THE SEASON, AND YOU ARE CALLING THEIR NEW BALLPARK “SPECTACULAR”!?!!?

What a giant dick!

What’s the chance the new Yankee Stadium would have gotten a Lupica endorsement like that, had they never made it back to the playoffs?

What total bullshit.

She smiled. "They gave me some ride for two whole years and then everything went wrong in two weeks. But that's baseball, isn't it?"

Two whole years?

She must mean 1969 and 1986.

When the Yankees seemed to have fallen apart this year, when they were 14 games behind the Red Sox, it was still May. The Mets did it all wrong, the worst way, falling apart when they did in September, falling apart the way no other team had ever fallen apart with 17 to play in baseball.

And therein lies the difference:

2007 Mets – fell apart.

2007 Yankees – playoff bound.

And when the Mets got one last chance, winning their Saturday game big on a day the Phillies lost, they showed up with nothing yesterday.

Fuck, they had TWELVE CHANCES in TWO WEEKS, you jerkoff!

"At least they gave me yesterday," Giana Luca said, then she walked slowly toward the parking lot, the shell of Citi Field on her right, Shea and her team's season behind her, quiet everywhere.

A seven-game lead gone forever. 7-0 Marlins in the top of the first. Last stop on the 7 train.

Great, so where’s the knock on Reyes completely shitting a brick in September?

Where’s the diss of Milledge, jogging after Willis’ double, turned into a triple?

Where’s the diss of Delgado, who fell off the face of the earth?

How about Omar?

And where the FUCK is the mention of the payroll!?!?!

We’re always getting how much the Yankees spent since their last world championship, well what the fuck – how much have the fucking Mets spent since 1986!?

I AM PISSED OFF.

Pedro is GOD OF THE METS!!!!

Look at how Lupicock is still in spin mode, this time for Pedro, as the rest of the team completely falls on their face.

No Reyes to squeal about, no Glavine, no Beltran.

Just Pedro.

The lone bright spot for the Mets.

He is 3-1.

HAHAHAHAAHA The ONE GREAT pitcher for the Mets – THREE AND ONE!

Please.

He started 13 fewer games than Roger Clemens and still has half as many wins.

1. Only fools judge a pitcher’s worth on their number of wins.

2. Pedro is 35 and Clemens is 44 – who had less starts this year due to injuries?

3. Who had less starts in the last THREE years due to injuries?

4. I forgot – who’s going to the post season?

If one other big guy on the Mets pitching staff had shown up like this, the Mets would have won the NL East already and be setting things up so that Pedro, who wasn't around all summer, could pitch Game 1 against somebody this week.

What the hell is this idiot talking about?

Shown up like Pedro? Pedro LOST his last start, you dopey moron!

AND someone else DID show up to pitch. Maine threw a one-hitter on Saturday, and the Mets STILL didn’t win the NL East.

You even wrote a FUCKING ARTICLE ABOUT MAINE'S GAME, YOU DOUCHE. YOU FORGOT ALREADY!?!? Jeez, Reyes chokes down the stretch, and you start singing the praises of Pedro, who lost his last start. Holy Christ this shithead is amazing.

He worked harder than ever and came back and the other night, when he gave his team the seven innings he did, he could have helped save the Mets if he had gotten any help from all those who are supposed to be hitting stars on this team: Reyes, Wright, Beltran, Delgado.

Look genius…if Pedro was such a hero, he wouldn’t have to rely on his hitters to get him a win.

Three runs in 7 innings is hardly the work of a hero.

He missed the end of last year and saw his team fall one game short of the World Series, really one pitch short - the one to Yadier Molina in Game 7 - and didn't get the chance to close his New York deal.

At 34 years old, he went 9-8, then bowed out of the season due to an injury.

A true hero, indeed.

He came back this September, ready to deal. He pitched 28 innings and struck out 32 with that repaired right shoulder and had a 2.57 September ERA. He was every bit the star he was supposed to be.

Except for the last game he pitched.

Who else, of the Mets stars, can say the same right now?

Since their season is over?

No one.

* * *

You have to say there is at least the possibility Red Sox vs. Yankees wouldn't have been this close if Manny Ramirez hadn't missed an entire month down the stretch.

Yes, let’s all give the Red Sox a big gay hug for somehow managing to hold on to a division lead that went from 14.5 games to 1.5 games.

Fascinating.

It would only have been like the Yankees losing Jeter for a month.

In 2003 Jeter was out for a month and a half with a dislocated shoulder; Yankees easily won the division by 6 games.

I’m quite sure you made no mention of that back in 2003.

Every time I see a picture of Lindsay Lohan's old man, or read more quotes from him, I imagine him having to go 12 rounds with one of the Klitschko brothers.

First one.

Then the other.

Wave the three-knockdown rule.

Why does Lupica have such a hard-on for Lindsay Lohan? I don’t even get what the hell he said about her dad. Does he find it funny to knock her all the time? She’s old news, and cracking on her and her family has gotten old.

Really.

Old.

Say it again: The Yankees better win the World Series and Family Guy Clemens better have a hand in doing that, or the pro-rated $28 million salary is as big a waste of money as Kei Igawa.

Say THIS again, or even ONCE…The 2007 Mets – the all-time biggest waste of $115,231,663.

Wow, doesn’t that have such a pleasant ring to it?

Oh yeah, he better give them a bang for their buck in October.

Or else what?

He was a big part of the Yankees getting to the post-season.

Pedro was a big part of getting the Mets to the October golf course, whether you like it or not.

I still think the Yankees should start David Cone in Game 3 of any series.

Well, he certainly can’t start for the Mets in Game 3 of any postseason series, now can he?

At least not this year.

The Yankees had to play their division series in Cleveland the last time they were a wild card, which didn't exactly work out so great exactly 10 years ago.

And Yankees fans should be concerned about that, because the 2007 Indians are the SAME EXACT TEAM as the 1997 Indians.

Jeez, even the 2007 Mets resemble their 1997 team better, due to neither team MAKING THE PLAYOFFS.