Lupica Sells Out, Stars In Commercial!

Look how this little bitch cashes in on his midgetry!



Like a circle of dopey bitches would be fighting over this little twerp.

Age Topic Getting Fucking Old!

In Lupidwarf's latest "Shooting From The Lip" article, MiniMike once again touches on the age of the Yankees, even though the Mets clearly have the older team.

This week, much like last season, Mike singles out the Yankee outfield, and how "old" they are, referring to them as "an outfield that sometimes looks older than disco."

Mike, you dumb confused little bitch. I guess we'll have to break out the stats again.

METS OUTFIELDERS

Moises Alou - 41 years old
Carlos Beltran - 30 years old
Ryan Church - 29 years old

AVERAGE AGE =33.3

YANKEES OUTFIELDERS

Hideki Matsui - 33 years old
Melky Cabrera - 23 years old
Bobby Abreu - 34 years old
Johnny Damon - 34 years old

AVERAGE AGE = 31

Any time you want to start knocking the Mets, please let us know.

Asshole.

Research By Fellow Lupica Hater Makes The Midget Look Like A Big Dick!

I got this email from fellow Lupica Hater Jeffrey R., who uses facts to make Lupica look like a dick.

Facts, Lupica - you should try them sometime.

Here's the email:

Just thought you'd wanna know this since Lupica sees fit to hammer the Yankees about the age of their team.

As seen in Adam Rubin's article in the Daily News today (March 7th) titled "Confident his Mets have healing power"…

Rubin cites the fact that the Mets are, in fact, the oldest team in ALL OF BASEBALL by "average age of players".

Evidently, the list is as follows:

Mets - 29.79
Red Sox - 29.75
Astros - 29.56
Tigers - 29.45

Furthermore, a simple look at ESPN.com provides the following:

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/stats/rosters , which lists the ten oldest as follows:

Red Sox - 30.01
Astros - 29.7
Mets - 29.5
Cards - 29.5
Phillies - 29.3
Tigers - 29.2
Dodgers - 29.2
Brewers - 29.1
Reds - 28.9
Blue Jays -28.7
And in 11th place…. The New York Yankees at 28.7.

So it's not like these teams are ranked 1 and 2 here. The Mets, according to Rubin are NUMBER FUCKING ONE ON THE LIST… and according to ESPN, rank 3rd.

The Yankees weren't listed by Rubin (although he only listed the top 4) and are FUCKING ELEVENTH on ESPN…. Which is probably why Rubin didn't list them… because THEY'RE NOT EVEN IN THE TOP FUCKING TEN!!!

If I were a betting man, I'd guess that the difference between Rubin's number and ESPN's is that ESPN probably used El Duque's listed age of 41.

Rubin, being a New Yorker and probably more familiar with Orlando
Hernandez probably cut him in half and counted the rings, coming out with the
logical conclusion that El Duque is actually 7,422 years old.

Or maybe Rubin also counted El Duque's bunion as a member of the team and the factored in that it's at least 50 years old.

Thought you'd like this information.

Yes, Jeffrey, we love the info.

Lupica has the fucking nerve to talk about the age of the Yankees, while the Mets are the top of the senior citizen list!

Are you gonna compare the average ages of Mets players to Yankees players, like you did last year during Spring Training? You douche bag midget fuck?

I didn't think so. What a short loser.

One Year Later, Mike Is Still Clueless

About a year ago, Lupica checked in with his annual pre-season “The Yankees Are Too Old!” article, comparing the average ages of the Mets and Yankees.

As usual, Lupica put his special anti-Yankee spin on the article, making the Yankees out to be senior citizens.

The Mets’ younger average age really helped out the Mets down the stretch last season, right Mike?

Apparently, Mike hasn’t learned anything from last year. This is the nonsense we got from him today...

“The Yankees better start getting younger with pitching, because it's sure not happening with the team they put on the field every day.”

The Yankees retained all of their position players, and they are all a year older.

Not a decade older.

How did this already old team do last season?

And how did the spring chickens over in Queens make out?

Let's compare!

2007 Stats

Strapping Young Mets

Offense

Batting Average - 2nd (NL)
Hits - 5th (NL)
RBI's - 5th (NL)
Home Runs - 5th (NL)
SLG - 7th (NL)
OPS - 5th (NL)
Runs - 4th (NL)

Defense

Errors - 8th Best (NL)
Fielding Percentage - T6 (NL)

Crusty Old Yankees

Offense

Batting Average - 1st (MLB)
Hits - 1st (MLB)
RBI's - 1st (MLB)
Home Runs - 1st (AL)
SLG - 1st (MLB)
OPS - 1st (MLB)
Runs - 1st (MLB)

Defense
Errors - 3rd Best (AL)
Fielding Percentage - T3 (AL)

Wow! Those crusty old position players on the Yankees owned those younger Mets in batting and fielding!

Once again Mike, your stupid ass comments are just as worthless as ever.

Stop The Presses!!! Yankee Employees Expected To Do Their Job!!!

So here we are, a week or so after pitchers and catchers showed up for Spring Training, a month or so away from Opening Day, the last season ever for Yankee Stadium, and even that shit hole Shea Stadium, everyone is excited for the season, and what do we get from Lupica?

More fucking whiny bullshit.

What is the problem with this miserable little troll?

Is he upset because Reyes won’t swallow?

Is he sad that Johan isn’t into foreplay?

Am I bringing his wife home too late on the weekends?

Mike, lighten up – your undersized heart is gonna give up on your undersized body with all that misery.

This week, Mike cries about Hank, and how he is so much like his father (you know, always wanting to get the best players on his team, always wanting to win, etc…what a jerk!).

We already know that Hank Steinbrenner has inherited the spending gene from his father.

Yes, because he paid $151 million for Johan Santana…oh wait, that was the Mets.

Perhaps the strongest pull of heredity involves the area that was always George Steinbrenner's strong suit, at least back in the day:

Second-guessing his Baseball People.

Because when one of your employees fucks up, they shouldn’t be held accountable. Right Mike?

If you don't believe that, ask Brian Cashman sometime how often he heard the name "David Ortiz" after the Red Sox got him from the Twins and he turned into a Boston baseball legend known as "Papi."

George wanted Ortiz, Cashman wanted Giambi. Cashman, the GM, got who he wanted, and everyone knows how that deal turned out.

Who should be held responsible Mike? Fucking numb nuts.

So if Santana, another ex-Twin, the one the Mets finally got for a bag of balls,

A $151 million bag of balls…

pitches the Mets to the World Series this season,

Yes, the Mets plan on having Johan start every game of the season…and post-season.

pitches them all the way to the Canyon of Heroes, Hank has made it pretty clear that it won't be his fault.

It will be Cashman's.

Since that is the job of the GM, then yes, it will be Cashman’s fault.Is this hard to comprehend?

"Hopefully, (trading for Santana) is not a move we should have made that I'm going to be ticked off about," Hank Steinbrenner told the Daily News.

"If Santana could have made the difference for us and the young pitchers aren't ready, people have to be held accountable," Hank Steinbrenner told Newsday.

Those aren't just predictable quotes from a Steinbrenner, they're practically like a home movie.

These should be predictable quotes from any owner who is concerned with this thing called winning.

But since Lupica is a little miserable bitch, he had to turn this non-story into an article.

But here's a question: If Hank Steinbrenner thought Johan Santana was worth the money and the prospects, why didn't he overrule Cashman and tell him to go make the deal?

Maybe he depends on his GM to make baseball decisions. And if his GM made a bad decision, then he should be held accountable. What the fuck don’t you get Mike? Is this some crazy story that just had to be acknowledged? Stop the presses! Hank thinks his employees should be held accountable for their actions!!!

If only the Daily News felt this way, maybe we wouldn’t have to be exposed to any more of Lupica’s bullshit.

When Hank decided that all was forgiven with Alex Rodriguez and that he wanted to give A-Rod a contract that will eventually be worth $300 million, who stopped him?

That was strictly a MONEY DECISION, douche bag! And it’s Hank’s money to spend, ya dope.

Jeez Mike you are so fucking dumb.

Hank threw money at A-Rod and nobody got in his way, he did it with Posada, he did it with Rivera, even though it is fair, no matter how much you admire the last two guys, to wonder what kind of bang Hank is going to get on his buck at the back end of their deals.

Once again, it was a money decision. Did they have to trade away Kennedy or Hughes to keep Mo or Jorge?

No.

Nice job comprehending, Lupicock.

Hank could have told Cashman to make the deal, thrown money at Johan Santana the way he did everybody else he wanted during this baseball winter, taken even a Yankee payroll to dizzying new heights.

See, asshole? It wasn’t just about the money for the Yankees. It was parting ways with Hughes and/or Kennedy.

By the way, a few weeks ago, you said Santana wasn’t worth $150 million.

The Mets gave him MORE THAN THAT and you said it was a deal the Mets had to make.

What are you going to say when Johan starts landing on the DL?

Are you gonna start ripping him and the Mets like you did with the Yankees and Pavano? Or are you gonna keep reminding us of the Yankees payroll and your wet dreams about Reyes?

* * *

If Shaq and his new team are playing on television, I'm watching that game.

You mean you’ll be able to stop watching bad reality tv shows to watch sports?

Wow, how professional of you. The Daily News must be so proud.

I love it when people talk about the Knicks' lack of effort and then don't talk about their coach.

Yes, we know, Mike. You are the only sports reporter who talks about how bad Isiah Thomas is.

I’m just kidding. Everyone talks about how bad he is.

YOU are the only tool to mention it in every fucking article you write though.

Because it is the worst thing you can say about any coach in sports, that his team doesn't try hard enough.

We spend so much time talking about this dysfunctional team - if it's as talented as I keep hearing, how come nobody else in the league wants any of Isiah's players?

Who are these sports geniuses you are talking to? Is it your “friends”, who think the Knicks are talented? Are these same same assholes who told you it was a stupid idea for the Giants to keep Tom Coughlin?

Wasn't SpyGate supposed to have gone away by now?

This coming from a guy whose list of recent articles looks like this:


This asshole writes about steroids on a daily basis (after writing about the Yankees payroll on a daily basis for 8 straight fucking years) and now he’s crying about SpyGate?

What a fuck.

I want to let bygones be bygones with Andy Pettitte,

…but then you would have to write articles about actual sports?

but the idea that anybody would use HGH a couple of times is like thinking you can take antibiotics for one day and not be sick anymore.

Right. Since he’s a Yankee, he cant be trusted, right Mike?

Please retire, and go do something you are really good at, like being short and miserable.

Congratulations NEW YORK GIANTS!

"Maybe somebody needs to tell Tom Coughlin that he has absolutely no chance of keeping his job, and that bringing him back was the dumbest idea since 'Temptation Island.'" - Mike Lupica, October 7th, 2007

UPDATED February 2, 2008

"Oh my, that Tom Brady is such a strapping young man......he's no Jose Reyes though!"

The City's Best Teams, Santana Spin, and the End Of Lisa Olson!

How much bullshit can you handle…in one week?

1.29.08 - With Win Over Patriots, Giants Can Become City’s Best Champions

Ok, so if the Giants beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl, they will be remembered as a great team from NYC. I agree with that.

But look at the other “great” teams that Asshole Lupica refers to…and guess which team is conveniently missing?

…They go right to the top of the list with the '69 Mets …

The very first fucking team Lupica mentions, the city’s “best champions”, is the ’69 Mets!?!?
I can’t even make this shit up. What an utter tool.

But wait, it gets better…

…Joe Namath and Willis Reed, anything you want to talk about all the way back to Bobby Thomson.

OK now that’s more like it. Teams that will be remembered. Teams that were the city’s best champions.

Now let’s see what Yankees teams the little prick mentions…

The Rangers weren't magic because they beat Vancouver in the Stanley Cup Finals, it was because of 1940, and the way they had come back against the Devils.

The 1994 Rangers were awesome. No doubt.

So how about them Yankees? 26 titles? ONE of those teams had to become one of the city’s best champions, right?

The '86 Mets came back, too. They were also the best team that year.

Ok I agree, the Mets in ’86 were great, even though they barely won ONE championship.

So Mike, how about one of those Yankees teams?

Unreal. The little fuck doesn’t mention ONE Yankee team. Shock.

What a total dick.

1.30.08 - After long winter, Omar Minaya finally bowls over Twins

Anyone remember a few weeks ago, when the Yankees were still the favorites to get Santana, Lupica referred to Johan as “not somebody I would pay $150 million on a bet?”

What do you think the biased bitch said about Johan today, the day after the Mets traded for him?

The Mets finally showed up for the baseball winter, beat the Yankees and the Red Sox to Santana

The Mets didn’t beat the Yankees to Santana you dumb fuck! The Yankees didn’t want to give up their young guns for him! Are you retarded?

Look at who the Mets gave up for Santana: Gomez (who?) Humber (who?) and 2 pieces of pocket lint. The Twins wanted Arod, Jeter, and DiMaggio’s monument! Why the hell would the Yankees make that deal?

Fucking moron!

This is one deal the Mets have to close.

That’s right Mike – and how much is this deal going to cost the Mets?

…it is going to cost between $110 million and $120 million in the end…

HAHAHA try $151 million you deluded douche! You are right, you won’t have to pay $150 million for him…you’ll be paying $1 million more!

I can’t wait to see your spin on this deal on Sunday.

I have a feeling you are going to say it’s the best signing ever!

So when are you going to start talking about the Mets payroll, and how it’s the highest in the NL, and it still can’t get the loser Mets in the post season???

UPDATE 2.2.08

Lupica posted his article today about the signing of Santana - do you think he mentions Santana's new contract ONCE!?

Any mention of the $151 million, A full million more than Lupica would ever sign this guy for?

Did they overpay for Santana? You bet.

Why do I have the feeling Lupica will excuse the Mets for overpaying Santana, instead of hammering them for months to come, like he does every time the Yankees sign a player?

So does everybody when the player they want and the player they need and the one they think can put them over the top is sitting right there, practically begging to come to their team.

Santana was begging to come to the Mets? Give me a fucking break. Santana would have went anywhere that got him out of Minnesota, you jackass.

Next you are gonna tell us Beltran was begging to come to the Mets.

Oh wait. Nevermind; he was begging to come to the Yankees.

Look how desperate Lupica is, trying to justify spending all that money for a pitcher...he quotes George Young:

"One of the realities of this business," George Young said, "is that your economics always change if you think you need the player to win."

You can quote all the GMs in all of sports, Mike. The fact remains that the Mets overpaid for a pitcher (a pitcher!) and now you look like a dick for the $150 million comment you made 3 weeks ago, when you thought the Yankees would get him.

Keep backpedalling, asshole.

And by the way, I know you are an idiot Mike, but what the fuck is up with this line...

(The Mets) think they can win their first World Series in 22 years right after the Red Sox win their second in three.

Newsflash, you midget shithead...

2004 - Red Sox win

2005 - White Sox win

2006 - Cardinals win

2007 - Red Sox win

It was the Red Sox second World Series in FOUR years, you dumb ass!

1.30.08 - Lupica Ends Lisa Olson’s Career With The Daily News!

This is fucking great. I heard about this story on the Boomer and Carton Show on WFAN, where Carton was expressing his disgust in Lupica (shock) after he told this story about how Lupica was a dick and pissed off Lisa Olson so bad that she quit.

This is from a website called The Big Lead, where they apparently also hate Lupica (shock)…

“The story we’re hearing: The Daily News sent several writers to cover the Packers/Giants playoff game. After the Giants stunning overtime victory, the crew decided what they were going to write, and then conducted interviews in the locker room and returned to their computers. Standard newspaper stuff. Apparently, after everyone had begun writing, Lupica decided to switch topics, effectively screwing Olson. This caused her to turn her column in late, irritating the New York office - even though it was Lupica’s fault for switching on the fly late on a Sunday night, with deadline looming. Because the entire staff lives in fear of the little man, nobody spoke up on Olson’s behalf.

Days go by. The paper finally comes to a decision on whom to send to the Super Bowl. Over 35 names are on the list. Amazingly, that list does not include Olson, who many believe to be the paper’s best writer. We are told she quit on the spot. Allegedly the paper is trying to get her to return, but she has stood firm.”

Good For you Lisa Olson, although next time we’d appreciate it if you kicked the crap out of that little fucking bitch.

Or at least break his fingers next time so he can no longer type.

A "New" Topic For Lupica...Steroids!!!

If you look to the right of Lupica’s article today on the Daily News website, you’ll see an area labeled “Most Recent Columns.” Here are their titles:

“Recording latest misfire from Rocket”
“Truth will set Rocket free”
“Fed up with the Rocket”
“When vacation ends, Roger Clemens' fight to save legacy begins”
“Let's salute baseball fans”
“Roger peddles Tour de Farce”
“House should play hardball”
“If Roger Clemens wants to tell his story, he should tell it to Congress”
“Scott Boras supplies dirty cover-up”

So in Lupica’s last nine articles, eight of them are about Clemens and/or steroids.

EIGHT of them!

Tell me this loser doesn’t sit around recycling the same old shit on a weekly basis!

The only article not about steroids is a puff piece “saluting” New York baseball fans, when in reality he uses the article to bash the Yankees, praise the Red Sox, and give the Mets yet another pass regarding their epic 2007 collapse.

So, when I saw today’s article’s headline, “Athlete’s Lies Worst Of All,” I knew it was going to be another snooze fest full of steroids bullshit.

But apparently Lupica feels this is a very important topic, so I will provide a public service by giving you today’s article – word for word – right here on our website.

Here is Lupica’s January 13 article, in its entirety:

Blah blah blah steroids blah blah Mitchell blah blah McGwire blah blah Congress blah blah Clemens blah blah Hall of Fame blah blah blah Marion Jones blah blah Bonds blah blah flaxseed oil blah blah BALCO blah blah blah McNamee blah blah blah.

Creative, original, exhilarating.

***

Just by playing the way he did against Tampa Bay and getting the Giants out of the first round, Eli Manning has already had a better postseason than A-Rod and Jeter combined.

Well why not compare Eli to what Reyes or Beltran or Wright or Wagner did in the post season?

Oh, right.

Put me down as somebody who thinks that Johan Santana is a wonderful pitcher, but not the second coming of Sandy Koufax and not somebody I would pay $150 million on a bet.

He forgot to add “unless the Mets or Red Sox get him” at the end of that sentence.

Let me sum up the rest of Lupica’s blurbs from this weeks article, because it's basically the same bullshit that he writes every week…

Blah blah blah Isiah Thomas blah blah Dolan blah blah blah Knicks blah blah Marbury blah blah blah Giuliani blah blah even more Clemens shit (unreal) blah blah blah…

Creative, original, exhilarating.

Again.

Let's Salute Baseball Fans

Question: What do you get when you get high-fived by a midget?

Answer: A giant smack in the balls.

This one is for the baseball fans of New York City, who keep coming no matter what

Tell me, in what city have fans decided to stop coming to games?

who sometimes are even a bigger story than the teams they come to watch.

Like the stupid Mets fans, who still think they are a great team.

Everybody talks about the 1950s in New York…

I know what you’re saying! I mean, on Christmas Eve at the in-laws, all everyone talked about was the 1950’s in New York! I kinda felt bad for all the other decades that were left out of the conversation.

At one point I even said “that reminds me about this one time in the 1940’s…”

All I got were dirty looks.

You want to pick the real Sportsman of the Year in New York? It is those eight million strong, men and women and children.

They stayed with their teams until the very end

Uh oh…I sense a small diss regarding the historical collapse of the playoff-less 2007 Mets, and a book about the failures of the Yankees.

stayed even past that dreadful first inning from Tom Glavine on that last Sunday at Shea Stadium, stayed as the inevitable for the Mets — everything that had been happening for the past 16 games - became truly inevitable against the Marlins.

So many Mets fans stayed all the way until the bitter end, and there had never been a baseball ending this bitter for a New York team, at least not since the Dodgers finally blew it all to the Giants in 1951.

But you wouldn’t know it from reading Lupica’s column, considering he chalked up the collapse to “bad luck”, not “bad team”.

The Yankees did better than the Mets

Wow, that had to hurt.

At least it sounds like Loopy is going to at least acknowledge the Yankees amazing comeback from an awful first half.

Or Arod’s amazing season.

Or the emergence of Joba.

then couldn’t get past the first round of the playoffs again, couldn’t get past the first round for the third year in a row, couldn’t win one round with another $200 million team.

So instead of talking about the best comeback this city has seen in years, we get the same bullshit about first round exits and $200 million payroll.

How many years do you think Lupica would get if plagiarizing yourself was illegal?

In Boston they are now convinced that Fenway Park, the scene of an amazing celebration of baseball for every home game the Red Sox play, has now become the de facto capital of the sport. The Red Sox have now won two World Series since 2004, won two since the Yankees won their last in 2000 and seem set up to win more than that over the next few years.

Wow, when I read the first sentence of this article (“This one is for the baseball fans of New York City”) I kind of assumed it would be an article about the baseball fans of New York City.

Anyone think Lupica mentioned how many more World Series the Marlins had won than the Mets in 2003, since the Mets last won in 1986?

No, but I bet the number 200 million was mentioned at least twice in that 2003 October article.

So it was not just the history of this rivalry that changed after the Yankees were ahead 3-0 in the American League Championship Series of ’04, it was the current history of baseball. It is one reason that Hank Steinbrenner has come out of the gate spending money like this, spending as much in any offseason as the old man ever did, would be willing to spend more on Johan Santana. He wants to take something back from the Red Sox.

Seriously, can this asshole EVER write ANYTHING positive about a team that has made the postseason THIRTEEN FUCKING YEARS IN A ROW!?

Saluting baseball fans in New York City?!

Thanks Mike.

Just kick us in the nuts next time.

They sell out the whole season in Boston.

Under 39,000 seats and the only baseball team in town? How is this worth mentioning?

They sell the tickets they sell and would probably sell as many as the Yankees if they had a ballpark as big as the old Yankee Stadium, or the new one.

“Sell…sell…sell!?!?” Ever see “Marathon Man”?

Their teams break their hearts - and, in the case of the 2007 Mets, their legs, too - and they keep coming.

Um, you forgot to mention the 2006 Mets.
The 2005 Mets.
The 2004 Mets.

Oh fuck it, all TWENTY (!!!) Mets teams since 1986.

Is it time to say $200 million again, Mike?

The Sportsman of the Year isn’t A-Rod. It’s the people who watch him play. And pay his salary. This one is for them.

Once again, thanks Mike, we appreciate the compliment.

By “compliment”, I mean “smack in the balls”.

* * *

Just hearing George Carlin on Imus the other week with his unique - and screamingly funny - take on steroids in baseball has me ready for his next HBO special already.

OH hahhaha that old bag Imus sure is funny…

Did they give their take on their overdoses of cocaine and booze too?

If I were the people making the decision for the Mets about who should work with Howie Rose on radio next season, the star search would end with a great young guy named Jon Schiambi, whom I first heard doing Marlins games.

And thanks for the great insight on WHY you would hire him.

Way to expand on your opinion. Dick.

Whenever we go more than few days without hearing from Hank Steinbrenner, I just assume he forgot to get his flu shot.

Oh hahaha! I see you still suscribe to the Imus “book of humor”, which states “being funny is optional’.

Happy New Year.

Fuck you, midget.

The difference between the Yankees and Red Sox

Welcome back, Lupica haters!

You knew it wouldn't be long until Lupicock would start crying about Yankee payroll, since they committed the ultimate sin by signing players!

The evil Empire strikes again!!!!

The Yankees have already spent $400 million the past few weeks and you know what that means, right?

It means 400 million will replace 200 million as the most overused number in Mike's weekly piece of shit article?

They're ready to spend more!

I’ll laugh my ass off if the Red Sox make the deal for Santana.

Lupica won’t say anything about it, except how much of a “magician” Theo Epstein is.

They're ready to break the bank for Johan Santana and thereby go against all the data on signing starting pitchers to longterm deals.

Right – and I remember when you wrote that article slamming the Red Sox for breaking the bank for Dice K.

Haha, just kidding. You never wrote that article.

$51 million just to talk to him.

Please.

Why?

Because they want him.

Genius.

Why else?

Because the Red Sox do.

So again, why slam just the Yankees? Why not lump the Red Sox in too? What happens if the Red Sox get him? Will you just ignore it, like every other time you’ve fucked up with your stupid assumptions?

Why won't Santana break down sometime during the length of his contract?

Because he's going to be a Yankee, that's why.

Yes, let’s assume every player who gets a longterm contract is gonna break down. That’s why your Mets didn’t go after Vlad Guerrero. How’d that work out for your Flushing bitches?

You want to know why the Yankees lose money on their baseball operation despite drawing 4 million fans a year to Yankee Stadium, why they need to be propped up by their network?

Now Mike is concerned the Yankees lost money this season? Aww, thanks Mike! Who knew you cared, ya filthy midget fuck!

Because of an offseason like this, when they are prepared to spend half-a-billion dollars on four baseball players:

A-Rod.
Posada.
Rivera.
Santana.

Three of those four are Hall of Famers, and two of those four are in their prime.

I know they’re not as good as, say, Brian Schneider and Ryan Church (for Lastings Milledge HAHA!!!) but they aren’t exactly chopped liver.

By the way, didn’t the Mets look into trying to get Santana and Posada?

Didn’t Mets fans have visions of Arod in that putrid blue and orange uniform?

If the Mets had any money or any players worth trading, they could have made all these deals too. And you would have loved it.

Johan Santana is a great pitcher, no doubt.

So SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY.

He isn't the Bionic Man just because the Yankees want him, and the Red Sox might get him.
See? There’s a difference – the Yankees want him, the Red Sox only might get him.

Red Sox, good…Yankees, BAD!!!

I've got a friend I write about sometimes,

Bullshit. You have no friends.

called Sweeney the Yankee Guy.

Sounds like a douche.

He sent me this e-mail the other day, when he found out what the Yankees were willing to give up in young guys for Santana:

Again, look at what the Red Sox are willing to give up, you stupid dick!

"The Yankees will never rebuild from within until this Steinbrenner is suspended."

Ask your retard of a “friend” when was the last time the Yankees starting pitching staff was made up of 3 to 5 homegrown guys? Wang, Joba, Kennedy, Hughes, and if you want to add Pettitte, that’s FIVE. If you take out Pettitte and Hughes, that’s still THREE.

That’s not building from within?

Your “friend” is an asshole.

And so are you Mike.

Article by some other Yankee hating bitch.

Look! It's a writer who aspires to be as stupid and annoying
(and anti-Yankees) as Mike Lupica!

While we’re waiting for Lupica to dislodge his foot from his mouth after Arod told Boras to take a hike, we found a new asshole to bust on.

Here’s an article by Tim Brown, a brainiac from Yahoo! Sports…

Yankees' horror show looking like a sequel

A lot of fans considered the Yankees’ 2007 season to be one of the most exciting.

Glad to know you thought it was a horror show.

The horror show was actually playing at a different baseball stadium not too far away.

On the occasion of Alex Rodriguez's third American League MVP award and with his contract negotiations by now presumably in the seventh-inning stretch, this is a good time to consider what it is A-Rod so desperately desired to come back to.

How about the best chance at getting to the playoffs all ten years of his new contract?

The New York Yankees have lost 13 of their last 17 playoff games and basically dismissed their iconic manager because of it,

They didn’t “dismiss” Torre, you numbnuts, Torre turned down their more than generous offer.

and they just spent nearly $400 million to put the same product back on the field, only with potentially less pitching.

“Potentially less” pitching?

I don’t see Pavano or Igawa anywhere near Yankee Stadium, do you?

I see Joba, Kennedy and Hughes…I didn’t see them in the beginning of 2007.

By the way…

…anyone with half a brain knows that “potentially less” is the same thing as saying “potentially more”. It can go either way.

You just chose to put a negative spin on it to suit your less than stellar article.

Oh, and you also hate the Yankees. Which makes you a biased dick.

So, for the seventh consecutive winter the Yankees are working their way back from something less than a parade.

Along with about twenty five other teams.

Where’s your article about the Mets, yet again doing NOTHING with the NL’s highest payroll, for the 5th consecutive year?

Yes, the champion – again – is in Boston.

Again?

And here I thought the Cardinals won the year before.

Silly me.

The manager is in L.A.

Newsflash, asshole – Joe Torre, the guy who brought NO titles to the Yankees in the last seven years, IS NOT THE MANAGER OF THE YANKEES.

I love it. The Yankees don’t win the series for seven years and it everyone's fault except Joe Torre's, just because he decided to leave.

The ace of the staff – in standing if not numbers – is in Houston.

Roger Clemens is, too.

If they brought Clemens back, you would have thought it was a GOOD idea?

Jeez you are a dumb confused bitch.

They haven't been among the top five earned-run average staffs for four years, and in those four consecutive playoff series losses have had an ERA under 5 once. Their ERA against the Cleveland Indians this October was nearly 6.

Wait a minute! Are you trying to say there is a direct correlation between playoff series losses and poor pitching?!?!

NO WAY.

So THAT’S how you got a job writing about sports!

Hughes had a 2.73 ERA in September (beware the September numbers)

What the fuck does that even mean?

Chamberlain was sensational when not shellacked in insects.

True

Kennedy was great in three September starts, against Tampa Bay, Kansas City and Toronto.

Great! This all suggests that we’ll be better off than we were in the beginning of 2007, where our starting pitchers in the first month were:

Pavano
Pettitte
Mussina
Igawa
Rasner
Pavano
Wright
Karstens
Wang
Hughes

(Arod) being there will help.

Arod will "help"?

Ya think, genius?

The Yankees had better hope he brings his bat, though.

What…the…fuck…

Tim Brown, you are a stupid asshole.