Apparently Lupica Spit After He Sucked Calipari...

Because a day later, he's sucking the ballsacks of Bill Self and the National Champion Kansas Jayhawks. Not to brag, but a certain someone told you who was going to win that game. It's like I said, The Curse of Lupica!! The mere glance of Mike Lupica could turn Michael Jordan into Stephon Marbury in a big game. But lets get right to it.

This was only a shot to tie against Memphis … But everybody who saw Chalmers knock this one down knew that Memphis wasn't coming back even if Kansas had.

Which is why they stopped the game right then and there. It was fucking over. Memphis had no chance. Probably because John Calipari was out of witty quotes.

So there, one more time, the first of all the times Mario Chalmers' shot will be replayed from now on in college basketball, there he was, coming from his left, nearly losing control of the ball, but holding on to it, because there are times when the ball doesn't bounce away from you in a moment like this, because it is supposed to be in your hands.

This sentence is the Dirk Diggler of sports journalism. It's long and strong and bound to get the friction on. This sentence runs like a 78 pound Kenyan in the Boston Marathon. If Eliot Spitzer were as long as this sentence, Ashley Alexandra Dupre would have done him for free. In case you missed the point, this is a very long, run-on sentence…and so poetic and beautiful too.

There are times in a boy's life when he becomes a man, and Mario Chalmers was becoming and man and nobody in the world could stop him from reaching this pubescent right of passage. Nobody could take his ball away. Which is why the five Memphis defenders simply walked off the court as he drifted to his left and killed them from beyond the arc. I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

"Ten seconds to go and we think we're national champions," Memphis coach John Calipari would say. "Then a kid makes a shot and all of a sudden we're not."

Oh, now John's full of witty quotes again! Where was this witty quote when Kansas was coming back from a 9-point deficit and your team needed inspiration!! You were supposed to will them to win with your witty quotes!! And at the most critical time in the game, in the season, you choked like Mike Lupica when his nose hits scrotum in a 69!

Seriously though, feel free to congratulate me on being right about Kansas. Adios.

Lupica Sucks Off Calipari!

John Calipari is sticking it to his doubters. And Mike Lupica is right there with him to tell you all about it. They're holding hands around campus. Mike Lupica is inspiring Calipari to coach his butt off with the tale of a four-foot-nothing sports journalist who rose to power in the big city of New York. Calipari feels so inspired by the story of shortness, that he's going to start Derrick Rose at Center in the big game. Little folks can do anything!

He can talk his way through a Final Four the way only a handful of coaches ever have, the way Jimmy Valvano seemed to talk for a whole weekend in Albuquerque in 1983 before his North Carolina State team won it all.

You heard it here. The reason Valvano coached the biggest upset in college basketball history at N.C. State is because he was a big talker. Nothing to do with the players or his coaching ability. Jimmy V. talked his ass off that week! Thanks a lot, for diminishing the memory of a great, inspiring and now-deceased coach.

John Calipari already had the quote of the tournament before he got to San Antonio, talking about his star guard, Derrick Rose, saying that if Rose was going to do what was best for himself and his family, he would leave school after his freshman year for the pros.

The Apostle Peter had the best quote in the Bible, when he said, "Holy shit! That dude is walking on fucking water! People can't do that!"

He first made a Final Four with UMass 12 years ago when Marcus Camby was his center, took over the Nets and made the playoffs with them, when that was no small thing, and then they ran him out of Jersey a year later when they were 3-15.

He made his first Final Four when he had Marcus Camby, who was later drafted #2 in 1996, and would have gone #1 ahead of Tim Duncan if not for some fluky heart problem. Marcus Camby was an absolute beast in college, probably the best player in the NCAA that year (hence him winning the Naismith and Wooden Awards in 95-96.)

And to kill any notion that Calipari got a raw deal in New Jersey, here is his full record as an NBA coach.

NJ Nets - 1996-97 - 26 Wins, 56 Losses
NJ Nets - 1997-98 - 43 Wins, 39 Losses, Lost in First Round of Playoffs (0 - 3)
NJ Nets - 1998-99 - 3 Wins, 17 Losses

Nope, not a typo. Lupica didn't check his fucking facts. Or maybe he intentionally made this look less ugly, especially since he didn't mention the 1996-97 season. He wanted it to look like Calipari was a good coach who had a bad quarter-of-a-season and got canned. Probably because it's hard to get approval to verbally suck the dick of a below-average coach. And that "Memphis Dribble-Drive Motion Attack" offense was invented at Pepperdine by a guy named Vance Walberg. Calipari just stole it.

Which brings us to a little-known fact in sports. The "Lupica Curse." No team who's coach or players directly interact with Mike Lupica has ever won a championship. Ever. Mike Lupica is believed to be directly responsible for the following tragic sports events:

1) Luis Gonzalez's broken-bat bloop single in Game 7 of the 2001 World Series.
2) Buckner booting the ball in the 1986 World Series.
3) Barbaro breaking his leg during the 2006 Preakness Stakes.
4) Lou Gehrig's Disease. Yes, the entire disease.

There are others too, however, Mike Lupica was NOT responsible for Yadier Molina's home run in the 2006 NLCS or the Mets historic collapse in September 2007. Those events are simply proof that God is a Yankee fan.

It is with the Lupica Curse in mind that on this Seventh day of April, 2008, I, Mister Six, of sound mind and body, do predict that Kansas will upset John Calipari's Memphis team. Yup, you heard it here first. Kansas is going to win. (Note: I haven't watched any NCAA basketball this year, and I know nothing about either of these teams except the research I did to write this article. I'm just picking against Lupica, because he's wrong about 95% of the time.)

Has Lupica Infected The Entire Daily News Sports Department!?

OK, now I'm SURE Lupica is in charge of the entire sports department over at the Daily News!

At 9PM on Saturday, 4.5.08, after the Yankees lost to the Rays and the Mets lost to the Braves, their fucking bitter division rival Braves, this is what the Daily News front page looked like on their website...



Holy CHRIST! The Yankees losing to the Rays is the THIRD MOST important story today!? And the Mets...the fucking Mets, who get owned on a GAME-BY-GAME BASIS by their rival, get seriously fucking owned by the Braves AGAIN, and the Daily News put the Mets "headline" more than halfway down the page!?

What the fuck do you think is going to happen if the Yankees lose a game to the Red Sox next weekend? There will be a dozen stories about it, including Lupica's usual three articles about how the Yankees suck, their payroll is too high, Red Sox are the new dynasty, etc...

The only way we'll get any reprieve is if Lupica and his little band of writer bitches are too busy having a "post-Yankee-loss-circle-jerk" to write anything nasty about our Yankees.

Fuck The Daily News!

First Posts by Mister Six

I find myself wanting to write in more and more often about this little midget fuck, and I just can't help it. It's not even so much the fact that 99% of his articles are either:

A) The same.
B) Bashing the Yankees for Steroids/Spendings/Age.
C) Neglecting to mention that our cross-town rivals have all the same issues.

I think it's more because he's such an unapologetic HACK of a writer. I mean… what's with the constant string of sentence fragments man? Is that supposed to be fucking poetic? I feel like I'm reading Bill Platschke but doesn't he write on the West Coast? This has led me to an undeniable conclusion. Are you ready for this? Mike Lupica came from Bill Platschke. But not like they're related or anything. More like that Mike Lupica was spewed from Bill Platschke's fat ass after a night of Tequila and Taco Bell binging.

Onto what pisses me off about this article though.

Melky Cabrera had made two spectacular plays in the outfield, top of the fourth against the Blue Jays, the best back-to-back plays any Yankee center fielder could ever make in that outfield, the Grand Concourse of baseball.

Loopy, please… stop it, you're so poetic. I think I'm about to cry. I was wrong. I just had to fart. How old is Mike Lupica? How many Yankee games has he been to since migrating here from Boston? How many Yankee games has this man seen? I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that he's seen about 7. I'm guessing the Bucky Dent game was one of them. How the fuck does this midget Yankee-basher know that DiMaggio or Mantle never made two better plays? This is a veiled fucking slap in the face of Bernie Williams, who won multiple Gold Gloves (not that they mean much, but still). It's a veiled slap at DiMaggio, Mantle, even Mickey Rivers. Melky's plays were great, but don't compare shit from April 1st, 2008 to the WHOLE of Yankee fucking HISTORY. Yankee history isn't made on April 1st Mike, its made in October.

Met history is made in April, unless they’re shitting the bed in September and choking away their playoff spot again.

First Melky had run a mile to his left in right-center and reached his glove across his body and taken at least a double away from Lyle Overbay…

Melky ran a mile and reached with his glove and sweated from his mighty brow and took away a double and Lyle Overbay cried and wailed and walked back to the dugout and sat down and Melky went back to his spot in Centerfield and adjusted his cap!!!! Hey Mike… you can write more than one sentence. Also…at least a double? Have you ever seen Lyle Overbay run? Lyle Overbay is to running, what Eliot Spitzer is to Family Values. Lyle Overbay runs like he just shit himself and he doesn't want to make it stain. Melky robbed a double. Nothing more.

"This place was absolutely awesome tonight," Johnny Damon would say later. "Jazzed," Brian Cashman would say.

Jazzed? That's the whole quote? Wow, they really save all the good quotes for Lupica, don't they? That's what a grade A, terrific sportswriter gets for his story. You're trying to tell me that the ONLY thing of value that Brian Cashman said about last night's game was, "Jazzed?" And you printed it? I'd have pretended he said nothing.

Then Melky, the kid who nearly went to the Twins for Johan Santana, hit a 3-2 pitch down the right-field line in the sixth, a high shot that seemed to go up as high as the lights at the top of the place before landing in the first row of the stands, just inside the right-field foul pole. It is 314 feet out there. Maybe this one went 315. Or 316. Whatever. It was Yankees 2 and Blue Jays 2 on Opening Night.

Cashman never wanted to move Melky. He doesn't believe in mortgaging his entire farm system for one player that he's going to have to pay an astronomical sum of money for, unlike say… Omar Minaya, the GM of the Oldest Team in Baseball.

Also… you know, had that ball gone 317 it would have been worth TWO runs instead of only one. Only Lupica knows this. Whatever. Doesn’t "Whatever" imply that whatever was said before it is unimportant? If it's not important then why did he fucking WRITE it? Why not… *gasp*… delete it! Simple! Because it's all about sentence fragments. Fragments. And. Lots. Of them. It's like. William Shatner. Is writing this. And pretending. To be Captain. Kirk.

Jason Giambi in looking for a bunt, helped keep it that way, making this amazing leap and catch of a line drive hit by Marco Scutaro.

Can't you just FEEL Lupica resisting the urge to add something like, "The kind of amazing leap and catch that a man, a man like Giambi, who's taken so much money, millions upon millions of dollars, hand over fist, and still disgraced his team by taking steroids and cheating like a damned cheating Yankee, ought to make in a big game. The kind he's never made in October for them." Doesn't it sound like something he would say? I think he said it and the editor removed it.

Now it was 9:07 at Yankee Stadium, first night of the last season on this side of the street, and the blue doors opened out in front of the monuments and here came Joba Chamberlain.

There goes Mike again. This is the kind of fucking poetry that can only be written by a certified member of the Keebler Elf crew. It was 9:07 at Yankee Stadium, and it's a good thing that it was 9:07 and not 9:09. Because if it were 9:09 then LaTroy Hawkins would have come into the game instead and fucking blown it. The monuments are coming with them. The blue doors are probably fucking coming with them. They're moving across the street, not to fucking Pango Pango! It's really not that big of a deal.

Jorge Posada was asked if he'd called for a 97-mph fastball.

Posada smiled. "Actually, I asked him to throw a screwball, but he didn't know how. And we haven't worked on the knuckler enough yet. So I just told him to do whatever felt right." Are you fucking retarded?! If Jorge Posada could just ASK pitchers to throw 97-mph fastballs and they do EXACTLY THAT, then he really should start calling for 97-mph fastballs when Mike Mussina's on the fucking hill.

Just like that, the Stadium dialed itself all the way up on Opening Night, jazzed itself up. RBI double from A-Rod in the bottom of the first, a ball that must have sounded like a police siren coming off his bat.

The kind of thing a player with a nickname like A-Rod ought to do at a big moment unless he wants people to call him F-Rod and not in the good way that people use it for Francisco Rodriguez either. In the way that you would call him F-Rod if he was a miserable failure like he is in the entire month of October and probably also in November and December but we'll never know because nobody plays baseball then but A-Rod should have to because he makes so much money. And does steroids. Jose Canseco says so. So it's true. Plus A-Rod clearly knows Giambi. So A-Rod must be using steroids between innings. Especially if he hits a home run off John Maine during the Subway Series this year.

Okay, okay… maybe Lupica didn't write that last paragraph, but admit it. You got like HALF WAY THROUGH IT before you realized it. Didn't you? No? Bullshit, you know you did.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If I were Lupica, I'd be less concerned with the dates of birth of members of various New York Teams outfields, and a bit more concerned with how the Mets ended up with the outfield they've got.

I vaguely remember talk of a potential deal a couple of years ago that involved one Manny Ramirez possibly coming to the Metsies. Omar wanted to add him. Boston wanted to move him. There was concern over whether he was approaching decline, but the money wasn't an issue for the Mets (and their now-$140M payroll). And as for decline, here are Manny's last 2 years in Boston.

.321/.439/.619, 35 HR, 102 RBI in 130 games.
.296/.388/.493, 20 HR, 88 RBI in 133 games. (And he batted .340 in the post-season with 4 HR and 16 RBI)

So what could have derailed such a monster trade as to send a guy with a career .313/.409/.593 line and 490 homers to Queens?

Yup… you guessed it. Omar Minaya's absolute fucking refusal to trade Lastings Milledge. Giving up Milledge for Manny Ramirez was abso-fucking-loutly out of the question.

Now… if Minaya were getting back something better for Milledge… like say… a 29 year old lefty outfielder with career numbers of .271/.348/.462, 35 career homers and an OPS+ of 113, especially if that guy OPS'd a cool .723 for his career against left-handed pitching… THAT'S a deal old Omar would have to consider.

Two years ago, Milledge for ManRam was out of the question. In 2008, Milledge nets Ryan Church and if you ask me, that's a worse move than Kazmir-for-Zambrano. Nobody will kill you in the media for the "trade you don't make"… and most people forget them. But if the Mets had Manny Ramirez in their lineup, there's NO FUCKING WAY they lose that series to the Cardinals in 2006 and probably go on to win the World Series over a shitty Tiger team that couldn't pitch without pine tar. And there's also NO FUCKING WAY they blow that lead in September 2007.

So what would you rather have? Manny Ramirez and a Ring? Or the young, virile and "Under-30 for 12 more months" Ryan Church? I rest my case.

Lupica Sells Out, Stars In Commercial!

Look how this little bitch cashes in on his midgetry!



Like a circle of dopey bitches would be fighting over this little twerp.

Age Topic Getting Fucking Old!

In Lupidwarf's latest "Shooting From The Lip" article, MiniMike once again touches on the age of the Yankees, even though the Mets clearly have the older team.

This week, much like last season, Mike singles out the Yankee outfield, and how "old" they are, referring to them as "an outfield that sometimes looks older than disco."

Mike, you dumb confused little bitch. I guess we'll have to break out the stats again.

METS OUTFIELDERS

Moises Alou - 41 years old
Carlos Beltran - 30 years old
Ryan Church - 29 years old

AVERAGE AGE =33.3

YANKEES OUTFIELDERS

Hideki Matsui - 33 years old
Melky Cabrera - 23 years old
Bobby Abreu - 34 years old
Johnny Damon - 34 years old

AVERAGE AGE = 31

Any time you want to start knocking the Mets, please let us know.

Asshole.

Research By Fellow Lupica Hater Makes The Midget Look Like A Big Dick!

I got this email from fellow Lupica Hater Jeffrey R., who uses facts to make Lupica look like a dick.

Facts, Lupica - you should try them sometime.

Here's the email:

Just thought you'd wanna know this since Lupica sees fit to hammer the Yankees about the age of their team.

As seen in Adam Rubin's article in the Daily News today (March 7th) titled "Confident his Mets have healing power"…

Rubin cites the fact that the Mets are, in fact, the oldest team in ALL OF BASEBALL by "average age of players".

Evidently, the list is as follows:

Mets - 29.79
Red Sox - 29.75
Astros - 29.56
Tigers - 29.45

Furthermore, a simple look at ESPN.com provides the following:

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/stats/rosters , which lists the ten oldest as follows:

Red Sox - 30.01
Astros - 29.7
Mets - 29.5
Cards - 29.5
Phillies - 29.3
Tigers - 29.2
Dodgers - 29.2
Brewers - 29.1
Reds - 28.9
Blue Jays -28.7
And in 11th place…. The New York Yankees at 28.7.

So it's not like these teams are ranked 1 and 2 here. The Mets, according to Rubin are NUMBER FUCKING ONE ON THE LIST… and according to ESPN, rank 3rd.

The Yankees weren't listed by Rubin (although he only listed the top 4) and are FUCKING ELEVENTH on ESPN…. Which is probably why Rubin didn't list them… because THEY'RE NOT EVEN IN THE TOP FUCKING TEN!!!

If I were a betting man, I'd guess that the difference between Rubin's number and ESPN's is that ESPN probably used El Duque's listed age of 41.

Rubin, being a New Yorker and probably more familiar with Orlando
Hernandez probably cut him in half and counted the rings, coming out with the
logical conclusion that El Duque is actually 7,422 years old.

Or maybe Rubin also counted El Duque's bunion as a member of the team and the factored in that it's at least 50 years old.

Thought you'd like this information.

Yes, Jeffrey, we love the info.

Lupica has the fucking nerve to talk about the age of the Yankees, while the Mets are the top of the senior citizen list!

Are you gonna compare the average ages of Mets players to Yankees players, like you did last year during Spring Training? You douche bag midget fuck?

I didn't think so. What a short loser.

One Year Later, Mike Is Still Clueless

About a year ago, Lupica checked in with his annual pre-season “The Yankees Are Too Old!” article, comparing the average ages of the Mets and Yankees.

As usual, Lupica put his special anti-Yankee spin on the article, making the Yankees out to be senior citizens.

The Mets’ younger average age really helped out the Mets down the stretch last season, right Mike?

Apparently, Mike hasn’t learned anything from last year. This is the nonsense we got from him today...

“The Yankees better start getting younger with pitching, because it's sure not happening with the team they put on the field every day.”

The Yankees retained all of their position players, and they are all a year older.

Not a decade older.

How did this already old team do last season?

And how did the spring chickens over in Queens make out?

Let's compare!

2007 Stats

Strapping Young Mets

Offense

Batting Average - 2nd (NL)
Hits - 5th (NL)
RBI's - 5th (NL)
Home Runs - 5th (NL)
SLG - 7th (NL)
OPS - 5th (NL)
Runs - 4th (NL)

Defense

Errors - 8th Best (NL)
Fielding Percentage - T6 (NL)

Crusty Old Yankees

Offense

Batting Average - 1st (MLB)
Hits - 1st (MLB)
RBI's - 1st (MLB)
Home Runs - 1st (AL)
SLG - 1st (MLB)
OPS - 1st (MLB)
Runs - 1st (MLB)

Defense
Errors - 3rd Best (AL)
Fielding Percentage - T3 (AL)

Wow! Those crusty old position players on the Yankees owned those younger Mets in batting and fielding!

Once again Mike, your stupid ass comments are just as worthless as ever.

Stop The Presses!!! Yankee Employees Expected To Do Their Job!!!

So here we are, a week or so after pitchers and catchers showed up for Spring Training, a month or so away from Opening Day, the last season ever for Yankee Stadium, and even that shit hole Shea Stadium, everyone is excited for the season, and what do we get from Lupica?

More fucking whiny bullshit.

What is the problem with this miserable little troll?

Is he upset because Reyes won’t swallow?

Is he sad that Johan isn’t into foreplay?

Am I bringing his wife home too late on the weekends?

Mike, lighten up – your undersized heart is gonna give up on your undersized body with all that misery.

This week, Mike cries about Hank, and how he is so much like his father (you know, always wanting to get the best players on his team, always wanting to win, etc…what a jerk!).

We already know that Hank Steinbrenner has inherited the spending gene from his father.

Yes, because he paid $151 million for Johan Santana…oh wait, that was the Mets.

Perhaps the strongest pull of heredity involves the area that was always George Steinbrenner's strong suit, at least back in the day:

Second-guessing his Baseball People.

Because when one of your employees fucks up, they shouldn’t be held accountable. Right Mike?

If you don't believe that, ask Brian Cashman sometime how often he heard the name "David Ortiz" after the Red Sox got him from the Twins and he turned into a Boston baseball legend known as "Papi."

George wanted Ortiz, Cashman wanted Giambi. Cashman, the GM, got who he wanted, and everyone knows how that deal turned out.

Who should be held responsible Mike? Fucking numb nuts.

So if Santana, another ex-Twin, the one the Mets finally got for a bag of balls,

A $151 million bag of balls…

pitches the Mets to the World Series this season,

Yes, the Mets plan on having Johan start every game of the season…and post-season.

pitches them all the way to the Canyon of Heroes, Hank has made it pretty clear that it won't be his fault.

It will be Cashman's.

Since that is the job of the GM, then yes, it will be Cashman’s fault.Is this hard to comprehend?

"Hopefully, (trading for Santana) is not a move we should have made that I'm going to be ticked off about," Hank Steinbrenner told the Daily News.

"If Santana could have made the difference for us and the young pitchers aren't ready, people have to be held accountable," Hank Steinbrenner told Newsday.

Those aren't just predictable quotes from a Steinbrenner, they're practically like a home movie.

These should be predictable quotes from any owner who is concerned with this thing called winning.

But since Lupica is a little miserable bitch, he had to turn this non-story into an article.

But here's a question: If Hank Steinbrenner thought Johan Santana was worth the money and the prospects, why didn't he overrule Cashman and tell him to go make the deal?

Maybe he depends on his GM to make baseball decisions. And if his GM made a bad decision, then he should be held accountable. What the fuck don’t you get Mike? Is this some crazy story that just had to be acknowledged? Stop the presses! Hank thinks his employees should be held accountable for their actions!!!

If only the Daily News felt this way, maybe we wouldn’t have to be exposed to any more of Lupica’s bullshit.

When Hank decided that all was forgiven with Alex Rodriguez and that he wanted to give A-Rod a contract that will eventually be worth $300 million, who stopped him?

That was strictly a MONEY DECISION, douche bag! And it’s Hank’s money to spend, ya dope.

Jeez Mike you are so fucking dumb.

Hank threw money at A-Rod and nobody got in his way, he did it with Posada, he did it with Rivera, even though it is fair, no matter how much you admire the last two guys, to wonder what kind of bang Hank is going to get on his buck at the back end of their deals.

Once again, it was a money decision. Did they have to trade away Kennedy or Hughes to keep Mo or Jorge?

No.

Nice job comprehending, Lupicock.

Hank could have told Cashman to make the deal, thrown money at Johan Santana the way he did everybody else he wanted during this baseball winter, taken even a Yankee payroll to dizzying new heights.

See, asshole? It wasn’t just about the money for the Yankees. It was parting ways with Hughes and/or Kennedy.

By the way, a few weeks ago, you said Santana wasn’t worth $150 million.

The Mets gave him MORE THAN THAT and you said it was a deal the Mets had to make.

What are you going to say when Johan starts landing on the DL?

Are you gonna start ripping him and the Mets like you did with the Yankees and Pavano? Or are you gonna keep reminding us of the Yankees payroll and your wet dreams about Reyes?

* * *

If Shaq and his new team are playing on television, I'm watching that game.

You mean you’ll be able to stop watching bad reality tv shows to watch sports?

Wow, how professional of you. The Daily News must be so proud.

I love it when people talk about the Knicks' lack of effort and then don't talk about their coach.

Yes, we know, Mike. You are the only sports reporter who talks about how bad Isiah Thomas is.

I’m just kidding. Everyone talks about how bad he is.

YOU are the only tool to mention it in every fucking article you write though.

Because it is the worst thing you can say about any coach in sports, that his team doesn't try hard enough.

We spend so much time talking about this dysfunctional team - if it's as talented as I keep hearing, how come nobody else in the league wants any of Isiah's players?

Who are these sports geniuses you are talking to? Is it your “friends”, who think the Knicks are talented? Are these same same assholes who told you it was a stupid idea for the Giants to keep Tom Coughlin?

Wasn't SpyGate supposed to have gone away by now?

This coming from a guy whose list of recent articles looks like this:


This asshole writes about steroids on a daily basis (after writing about the Yankees payroll on a daily basis for 8 straight fucking years) and now he’s crying about SpyGate?

What a fuck.

I want to let bygones be bygones with Andy Pettitte,

…but then you would have to write articles about actual sports?

but the idea that anybody would use HGH a couple of times is like thinking you can take antibiotics for one day and not be sick anymore.

Right. Since he’s a Yankee, he cant be trusted, right Mike?

Please retire, and go do something you are really good at, like being short and miserable.

Congratulations NEW YORK GIANTS!

"Maybe somebody needs to tell Tom Coughlin that he has absolutely no chance of keeping his job, and that bringing him back was the dumbest idea since 'Temptation Island.'" - Mike Lupica, October 7th, 2007

UPDATED February 2, 2008

"Oh my, that Tom Brady is such a strapping young man......he's no Jose Reyes though!"

The City's Best Teams, Santana Spin, and the End Of Lisa Olson!

How much bullshit can you handle…in one week?

1.29.08 - With Win Over Patriots, Giants Can Become City’s Best Champions

Ok, so if the Giants beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl, they will be remembered as a great team from NYC. I agree with that.

But look at the other “great” teams that Asshole Lupica refers to…and guess which team is conveniently missing?

…They go right to the top of the list with the '69 Mets …

The very first fucking team Lupica mentions, the city’s “best champions”, is the ’69 Mets!?!?
I can’t even make this shit up. What an utter tool.

But wait, it gets better…

…Joe Namath and Willis Reed, anything you want to talk about all the way back to Bobby Thomson.

OK now that’s more like it. Teams that will be remembered. Teams that were the city’s best champions.

Now let’s see what Yankees teams the little prick mentions…

The Rangers weren't magic because they beat Vancouver in the Stanley Cup Finals, it was because of 1940, and the way they had come back against the Devils.

The 1994 Rangers were awesome. No doubt.

So how about them Yankees? 26 titles? ONE of those teams had to become one of the city’s best champions, right?

The '86 Mets came back, too. They were also the best team that year.

Ok I agree, the Mets in ’86 were great, even though they barely won ONE championship.

So Mike, how about one of those Yankees teams?

Unreal. The little fuck doesn’t mention ONE Yankee team. Shock.

What a total dick.

1.30.08 - After long winter, Omar Minaya finally bowls over Twins

Anyone remember a few weeks ago, when the Yankees were still the favorites to get Santana, Lupica referred to Johan as “not somebody I would pay $150 million on a bet?”

What do you think the biased bitch said about Johan today, the day after the Mets traded for him?

The Mets finally showed up for the baseball winter, beat the Yankees and the Red Sox to Santana

The Mets didn’t beat the Yankees to Santana you dumb fuck! The Yankees didn’t want to give up their young guns for him! Are you retarded?

Look at who the Mets gave up for Santana: Gomez (who?) Humber (who?) and 2 pieces of pocket lint. The Twins wanted Arod, Jeter, and DiMaggio’s monument! Why the hell would the Yankees make that deal?

Fucking moron!

This is one deal the Mets have to close.

That’s right Mike – and how much is this deal going to cost the Mets?

…it is going to cost between $110 million and $120 million in the end…

HAHAHA try $151 million you deluded douche! You are right, you won’t have to pay $150 million for him…you’ll be paying $1 million more!

I can’t wait to see your spin on this deal on Sunday.

I have a feeling you are going to say it’s the best signing ever!

So when are you going to start talking about the Mets payroll, and how it’s the highest in the NL, and it still can’t get the loser Mets in the post season???

UPDATE 2.2.08

Lupica posted his article today about the signing of Santana - do you think he mentions Santana's new contract ONCE!?

Any mention of the $151 million, A full million more than Lupica would ever sign this guy for?

Did they overpay for Santana? You bet.

Why do I have the feeling Lupica will excuse the Mets for overpaying Santana, instead of hammering them for months to come, like he does every time the Yankees sign a player?

So does everybody when the player they want and the player they need and the one they think can put them over the top is sitting right there, practically begging to come to their team.

Santana was begging to come to the Mets? Give me a fucking break. Santana would have went anywhere that got him out of Minnesota, you jackass.

Next you are gonna tell us Beltran was begging to come to the Mets.

Oh wait. Nevermind; he was begging to come to the Yankees.

Look how desperate Lupica is, trying to justify spending all that money for a pitcher...he quotes George Young:

"One of the realities of this business," George Young said, "is that your economics always change if you think you need the player to win."

You can quote all the GMs in all of sports, Mike. The fact remains that the Mets overpaid for a pitcher (a pitcher!) and now you look like a dick for the $150 million comment you made 3 weeks ago, when you thought the Yankees would get him.

Keep backpedalling, asshole.

And by the way, I know you are an idiot Mike, but what the fuck is up with this line...

(The Mets) think they can win their first World Series in 22 years right after the Red Sox win their second in three.

Newsflash, you midget shithead...

2004 - Red Sox win

2005 - White Sox win

2006 - Cardinals win

2007 - Red Sox win

It was the Red Sox second World Series in FOUR years, you dumb ass!

1.30.08 - Lupica Ends Lisa Olson’s Career With The Daily News!

This is fucking great. I heard about this story on the Boomer and Carton Show on WFAN, where Carton was expressing his disgust in Lupica (shock) after he told this story about how Lupica was a dick and pissed off Lisa Olson so bad that she quit.

This is from a website called The Big Lead, where they apparently also hate Lupica (shock)…

“The story we’re hearing: The Daily News sent several writers to cover the Packers/Giants playoff game. After the Giants stunning overtime victory, the crew decided what they were going to write, and then conducted interviews in the locker room and returned to their computers. Standard newspaper stuff. Apparently, after everyone had begun writing, Lupica decided to switch topics, effectively screwing Olson. This caused her to turn her column in late, irritating the New York office - even though it was Lupica’s fault for switching on the fly late on a Sunday night, with deadline looming. Because the entire staff lives in fear of the little man, nobody spoke up on Olson’s behalf.

Days go by. The paper finally comes to a decision on whom to send to the Super Bowl. Over 35 names are on the list. Amazingly, that list does not include Olson, who many believe to be the paper’s best writer. We are told she quit on the spot. Allegedly the paper is trying to get her to return, but she has stood firm.”

Good For you Lisa Olson, although next time we’d appreciate it if you kicked the crap out of that little fucking bitch.

Or at least break his fingers next time so he can no longer type.