More Lip Shit

I missed this gem…

Patriots owner Robert Kraft apologized the other day for the "fallout" of SpyGate at those owners meetings.

Not SpyGate itself.

You know what I call that in sports?

I call that a Giambi apology.

The "infamous" Giambi apology happened on February 11, 2005. It happened over three years ago. In that span of time, Lupica has written about it over and over and over. Three. Fucking. Years. Ago. Here's a stupid question. What did Guillermo Mota say in his apology speech? What did the Mets, as an organization say in their apology for employing Kirk Randomski? What about Keith Hernandez, Wally Backman, Doc Gooden, Daryl Strawberry and the rest of the cokehead 1986 Mets? What did they apologize for? Oh… that's right. None of them apologized for shit! Giambi got up in front of people and admitted his wrongdoing. The fact that he neglected to say the word "steroids" out of fear of losing his $21,000,000-a-season contract is understandable and forgivable. After all, Lupica doesn't admit to being a hacky, shitty sports journalist… because if he did, the Daily News might fire him. And then he'd have to go back to sucking dick for a living. You know, that's how he paid his tuition to the Bristol Clown College (AKA ESPN University).

And another thing, have you ever wondered why Mike Lupica is so obsessed with HGH? The answer is simple! (http://www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov/articlerender.fcgi?artid=1516352) HGH can be used to cure DWARFISM!! These bastard cheating baseball players are using up all the HGH! There isn't any left for the people who really need it! The HGH that Jason Giambi injected to hit home runs could have helped THOUSANDS of Little People (See: Members of the Lupica Clan) to grow up into full-sized people!

Finally today, Happy 16th Birthday to Zach Lupica, the point guard in the family.

Zach Lupica is the first Lupica tall enough to play basketball. He's also the first Lupica tall enough to go on the bumper cars. He might even be the first Lupica tall enough to one day have sex with a full-sized person (if he pays.) For the record, the belief that Lupicas reproduce via sexual intercourse is a common misconception. The truth is closer to this. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cloning)

Now if Jason Giambi hadn't used up all the HGH, Zach Lupica could have been the Power Forward of the family!

You know his middle name is Randolph. Zach Randolph Lupica.