This Is Why We're Here

People often send me hate mail, saying I’m biased in my observations about Mike Lupica, and that I’m just a subjective Yankees fan.

As we all know, Lupica would never go out of his way to make a Yankee player look bad, just for the sake of being an asshole, right?

Well then, what the FUCK would they say about Lupica’s retarded comparison this week, only 24 games into the season?

Here's a fun fact of the baseball season:

By “fun”, Lupica actually means “useless”.

Even though he still isn't close to getting his batting average over the Mendoza Line of .200,

Here comes the cherry-picked stat that some non-Yankee player has over a Yankee player…

David Ortiz has more RBI so far than A-Rod.

Jesus Christ, Lupica! It’s not even an individual stat, it’s more like a team stat!

We know you like to crap all over Arod, but you gotta come up with something better than this!

The last time I checked, batters can’t control how many guys he has in scoring position when they come to the plate. In this case, there certainly have been fewer chances for Arod.

Take a look at this stat, you dopey midget…

Red Sox team OBP = .361 (1st in AL)
Yankees team OBP = .331 (9th in AL)

Of course Ortiz is gonna have more RBI with a lineup that is FIRST IN THE AL IN OBP!

So instead of being a subjective jackass fuck like Lupica, let’s take a look at the rest of the story…
Superman Ortiz - 24 games, 96 ABs
Crappy ARod - 22 games, 86 ABs

Ok, so right off the bat, we can see Ortiz clearly has the advantage, with 2 more games and 10 more ABs under his belt. Would Arod have 10 more RBI if he had the same amount of ABs? With the way the Yankees offense has been sputtering, not likely.

Let’s see what both players have done without the help of their lineups…

Superman Ortiz
Hits 17
Doubles 2
HRs 4
BA .177
OBP .288
SLG .323
OPS+ 62

Crappy ARod
Hits 26
Doubles 7
HRs 4
BA .302
OBP .348
SLG .523
OPS+ 134

Holy shit! Other than home runs, Arod owns Ortiz in every offensive category! How the fuck did that happen? More than double the OPS+!?!?

And Lupica went out of his way to make that worthless comparison? To try and make Arod look inferior to Ortiz by posting RBI stats?

Gee Mike, thanks for your expert analysis!

Next week's brilliant comparison by Lupica - "David Ortiz has less errors so far than ARod."